A lot of films and tv shows have been remade or ‘rebooted’ over the years as Hollywood loses it’s originality and churns up old ideas from our childhood for a new generation to get attached to. Some names that spring to mind are Transformers, TMNT, The Chronicles of Narnia and endless (and endless) remakes or reboots of Batman. Some that haven’t been done are films and TV shows that could benefit from a ‘reboot’ so to speak such as Captain Planet, Toxic Crusaders, Attack Of The Killer Tomaotes the list is endless. For today’s piece I’m going to write about a cult classic that I feel would be ripe for a remake, and it’s not Marvel or DC! What could it be? Well the answer is simple I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!! Yes that’s right He-man!
I know right know some of you will be marking out in the style of WWE wrestler Daniel Bryan going ‘ Yes Yes Yes’ whereas some of you may be going He-Man? Is that a male stripper? Well for those of you that don’t know He-Man was a TV series that was around in the mid to late 1980’s it basically revolved around Prince Adam and his ability to take a glass of man up juice and become He-Man to kick his arch nemesis’s Skeletor’s ass. Think Popeye with mythical creatures and evil baddies, minus the annoyance of Olive Oil. Yes that’s right I compared He-Man to Popeye, I went there. Who is Skeletor? Well quite simply he is half man, half skeleton he is Skeletor! Now I know some of you may be going that doesnt sound scary but trust me, him and Mumm Ra (From Thundercats) were two of the most terrifying cartoon baddies for anyone aged between 29-34 growing up. If you don’t believe me, go visit YouTube after reading this article I’ll be proved right.
So why do I think He-Man would be a good candidate for a remake or reboot? Well it’s simple really, cult classics are in and I feel that He-Man although the obviously cliched 1980’s sounding name may need a twerk (no NOT the Miley Cyrus kinda twerk) all the elements are there for it to be a big success. People my age are now at the age where we have young children and what better way to introduce your child to the things you love then doing it through a modern version of it. I know if Skatronixxx Jr was a little bit older we would have seen Transformers or Batman at the cinema but that is a long way down the line.
I think the best way to work this article would be by a quick break down of the key characters from the original movie and give ideas on who I think would be ideal candidates for the roles this time around.
He-Man/Prince Adam
He-Man’s main power was superhuman strength, he was once described as the ‘most powerful man in the unvierse’ however if he is He-Man for too long he’ll revert to his alter ego of Prince Adam. He rarely however resorts to combat and only uses it as a last resort and prefers to outwit and outsmart his foes. For me the choice was simple and in a remake of He-Man I’d have THE ROCK playing him. Why The Rock, well to be honest as He-Man is strong you need a muscly character who is adaptable and also able to play the intelligent role, for me The Rock is the only logical choice here. As for Prince Adam? Well I’d still have The Rock but use the same effects they used on Chris Evans in Captain America to make him look smaller than he actually is. I know some people may say what about Channing Tatum? Well I have a role lined up for him later 😉
Skeletor
Skeletor was depicted as a muscular blue humanoid figure. His main power was his mystical abilities and sorcery, he was also able to teleport himself, send telepathic commands to his minions and grow plants (yes grow plants!). He was also known for having an evil cackling piercing laugh that would strike fear into the heart of many children. For me this choice was quite trickier, I initially thought Tom Hardy but was unsure as to wether he would fit the role. I eventually settled on one of geekdoms most favourite son’s BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH. Why BC? Well why not? Yeah I know you are probably thinking but Skeletor has to be muscly, BC isn’t! Well does he really have to be muscly? In my version I’d prefer to have Skeletor make the most of his mystical sorcery powers and who better than BC? Think of Sherlock but evil, that would be gold right?
Sorceress
Sorceress is the person who gives He-Man his powers she is known for being wise and is considered the most powerful spell caster on Eternia. Again this was a hard choice to pick but I decided to go with EVA MENDES. Why Eva Mendes, well I was stuck with who to pick with this one but I think she’ll be good as the wise head amongst the younger colleagurs. Yes I know she’ll be one of the youngest amongst the cast but hey if you can make The Rock look skinny I;m sure you can make Eva look slightly older. As for her portrayal, think Halle Berry’s ‘Storm’ in X-Men.
Teela
Teela is the captain of the Royal guard and responsible for protecting Prince Adam, she assists him in battle but is completely unaware the Adam and He-Man are one in the same. For this character you would need someone who is quick, athletic and not afraid to kick arse. Although Jennifer Lawrence may be the obvious choice for this one I decided to go with ALEXANDRA DADDARIO. Now I know you’ll be going WHO??? When I tell you her most famous film role I know some of you will know her and agree with me completely. AD was fesity kickass Anna Beth in the Percy Jackson series. Who better to play the role of Teela than someone with experience within a current role and as for why I didn’t pick Jennifer Lawrence? I didn’t want the remake and casting to be too obvious and went with characters who I thought for me would be good fits like those mentioned before.
Man-At-Arms
Man-At-Arms is a character who is battle hardy and Teela’s dad. For this I needed someone old enough to play the part but still look hard enough to kick ass and for this role I chose none other than MICKEY ROURKE. Why Mickey Rourke? Why not? He’s battle hardy and has the scars to prove it, is tough enough to play the role and a believable age to be AD’s father for me this choice was simple.
Ram Man
For me this is the choice that I feel CHANNING TATUM would be ideal for. Ram Man is a dimwitted, tough as nails warrior with a heart of gold. Who better than CT? I feel he’d truly excel in this supporting cast role alongside Mickey Rourke as Man-At-Arms, now who wouldn’t pay to see that duo kickass?
Cringer/Battle Cat
Cringer is the cowardly lazy, often over eating companion of Prince Adam (think Garfield the cat and you got Cringer). When He-Man transforms into He-Man he brings Cringer with him transforming this cowardly cat into his fierce alter ego of Battle Cat. For me I chose to pick the character based on what he could bring to the role as Cringer rather than Battle Cat and although for some it may be an obvious answer to go with Seth McFarlane for me it has to be the other Seth the one and only SETH ROGEN. I feel that Seth Rogen would be awesome as Cringer and would be able to bring his uniqueness to the role like only he can. If you’re not sure on this, just watch a clip of Seth Rogen on YouTube and imagine him as a cowardly cat with your eyes shut, I dare you!
Beast Man
Beast Man is pretty much what he say he’s a beast who’s also a man, think Sabretooth from X-Men, this one is so obvious no further comments are needed other than RON PERLMAN.
Mer-Man
Mer-man is an aquatic king of a species that inhabits the sea of Eternia. This character would rely highly on special effects and again like above the choice for this role is obvious. Who better to pay the random Mer-Man than the versatile king of random characters than the one and only ANDY SERKIS. Think about it Gollum but aquatic, it just fits no further explanation is needed!
Evil-Lyn
Evil-Lyn is the only female member of Skeletors’ gang of warriors, she’s a combination of brains, beauty and a fiery determination. Evil-Lyn is also secertly plotting to usurp Skeletor and take over his gang. Who better to play this mix of beauty and brains than the ANGELINA JOLIE, yes I know it may be cliché given her outing in Disney’s Maleficent but who wouldn’t want to see her play that kind of role but alongside Benedict Cumberbatch as the one and only Skeletor?
Right that’s my casting for the hypothetical He-Man reboot, I hope you like the choices, I know that each one of you may have your own opinions but hopefully that’s what this article is meant to do, get your creative brain juices flowing, who would you have as He-Man? Let me know now!