Smackdown Live – 6/9/16

Backlash is on Sunday guys, so this go home show might be a bit shaky. Then again, it can’t be as shaky as last nights Raw. While the second half was good, it took a major downward trend in the second half. Here’s hoping Smackdown is nothing but net.

No cold opening this week, as we start immediately with the opening credits. That’s a shame, since I like the cold openings, but if they don’t have the material for it then I’m glad that it isn’t being forced. We open with Daniel Bryan starting a yes chant in ring with the Smackdown Women’s title on a table behind him. He describes the rules of the six pack challenge, this is probably for the best since there’s been very little build for this match at all. He announces a women’s tag match later in the night before calling Becky Lynch to the ring. Becky admits that she thought Bryan would bring Nikki in first. This prompts Daniel to plug Total Bellas while Becky just sort of sits there. Come on Daniel, do you really have to plug it right now. Becky Lynch is able to talk about her drive before Natalya and Alexa Bliss come out to play heel. Bliss gets the highlight as she calls Bryan a Bella trophy husband.

Carmella comes out and starts ripping into Alexa for this, not sure why. She called her ‘Paulie Pocket’. Love that accent. They turn on Becky, before Becky gets backup in Naomi and Nikki and halfheartedly throw Team Heel out of the ring. Alright. That’s some ludicrously artificial heat.

A lost looking Dean Ambrose messes with the craft table and fills his coffee with some salt before stalking off. Ambrose really doesn’t fit in Smackdown. He’s too above everyone else to talk to anyone properly, but he has nothing to do by himself. His character doesn’t really fit.

Daniel Bryan fails to drop responsibilities of the women’s division on Shane just before The Miz comes out and complains about his Intercontinental championship match at Backlash, upset with Dolph’s ineligibility for the number one contenders position. Rightly so really considering all he’s went through to keep it. He can’t complain much more though, since he’s due a match tonight.

The Miz vs Apollo Crews 

Dolph Ziggler is here commentating on this match, as The Miz screams at him from the side of the ring. Dolph’s commentary seems pretty bland in comparison to Miz’s larger than life persona. Apollo Crews comes out smiling like always, oblivious to the beef going down. This doesn’t stop him from putting on his best effort, performing interesting moves and unusual reversals in response to Miz’s straight forward style. A lot of the match is ignored in favour of camera time for Dolph. An altercation with Dolph outside the ring works in Miz’s favour as he uses the dodges Apollo and whips him into the ring for the Skullcrushing finale. He leaves the title in the ring, leaving Dolph alone with it as he yells at Miz, calling him a coward. Miz proves him wrong by sending Maryse to get it. Good man.

Winner by Pinfall: The Miz

We go to the Talking Smack set as Renee asks AJ Styles (Still rocking that headband) about his ringropeitis from last week. This pisses off AJ, as he summons the man responsible for the footage’s appearance and threatens his job live on camera. ‘No one will know if I destroy your headset and blame it on you.’ Uuuuuh, sure. Logic notwithstanding, that’s some pretty good heelwork by AJ.

After a good advertisement for Connor’s Cure, Mauro starts to introduce a vignette on American Alpha before the screen goes back. Then the Smackdown opening plays. Then Mauro introduces the vignette again. Ooops. The short vignette plays before we get an Usos interview. Luckily The Usos are allowed to show some character so it isn’t a total trainwreck. They talk about their Slammy history before we go back to the ring.

Bray Wyatt interrupts Mauro with a good promo about the life of a predator and man’s evolution to combat it, leaving the predator in the dust. Bray describes himself as the evolution of man and tells Randy about how he can’t combat a god. Please let Bray win this god damn match. You can’t make him look like a loser again. Please just let him win one feud. Bray needs to be strong.

Team Face vs Team Heel

Nikki Bella is the first out for Team Face, with Naomi and Becky following. Naomi’s still stealing the show with her entrance, weeks down the line, love it so much. Team Heel can’t compare, with Bliss, Carmella and Natty following. The match is good to start with Becky’s interesting pin escape techniques and  Naomi’s good attacks. But gets a little sloppy with a strange delay in Carmella’s follow through to Becky’s roll up pin. The match gets more vicious as the action goes outside the ring, with Becky taking all the bumps for Team Face, this goes on for a while as Becky is unable to get the tag from anyone as Team Heel continues to work her. If they use this as a reason for her not getting the title on Sunday I’ll be pissed. She’s finally able to get the tag on Nikki as the match turns around. Once Carmella gets into the ring though all bets are off, as the ring descends into chaos, with all but the legal women in the ring. Carmella uses a submission move that capitalises on Nikki’s neck and gets the submission.

Winner by Submission: Team Heel

Tag Team Tournament Semi Finals: The Usos vs American Alpha

The Usos come out to a quiet crowd, allowing them to hype them up with an Uso chant.No ones really appreciated them in a long time, their entrance colouring and war dance would be more suited to heels. This comes to fruition after American Alpha come out. The Usos go for a handshake and sucker AA into a fair fight until the bell rings and they attack. This lasts about five seconds before Gable gets the pin on Jimmy. The Usos then launch another attack on AA, focusing on injuring Gable’s leg with a frog splash to the leg in particular. Maybe this’ll help Slater get a pin on Sunday (There’s no way his storyline ends at the semi finals. EDIT Shane later announced that Gable strained his MCL and now The Usos will fight the Hype Bros at Backlash for the chance to get into the finals.

Winner By Pinfall: American Alpha

We then get a response from Randy Orton on Bray Wyatt’s parable from earlier. Randy also tells a parable about a rabbit and a snake. He talks about how overconfidence will be Bray’s ending while Orton bides his time and waits to strike.

We go back to the ring as a lone Fandango explains that Tyler Breeze is away. He brings in a woman and compliments her tattoos before attempting an awkward dance with her. Her dance ends with an awkward dab. Fandango kicks her out of the ring and gets angry, demanding someone worthy comes out to dance with him. Oh my God, Fandango is Dennis Reynolds

Fortunately Kane comes out and chokeslams him, reminding us that he’s here.

Before we move onto the next match, let’s view the introduction of the Slater family, I really have no words for it. It’s perfect. With the implied incest, Slater knowing where to buy a tongue and Uncle Rhyno who doesn’t like kids. Heath is money.

Tag Team Tournament Semi Finals: The Hype Bros vs Heath Slater and Rhyno

Hopefully this week Rhyno will be able to get through this one without bleeding all over the place. That’s likely the case with The Hype Bros’ orthodox gear and style in comparison to The Headbangers last week. I like Zack’s Hype Bros ring gear, the colours seem to work for him. The match is interesting, with Slater working for most of the match with Zack before Rhyno pulls him out of the way of the Broski Boot and Gores Zack. This gives Rhyno the pin, allowing them to move on to the finals.

Winners By Pinfall: Heath Slater and Rhyno

Next up we have The Usos explaining why they turned heel earlier in the night, attributing it to how they’ve been working for the people’s respect for six years with no results (two slammies, multiple tag team titles). They’re done with that and if they’re getting no respect, they want to deserve it. Let’s see if people care in a months time.

Next up we have a meeting between Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles, with Dean offering AJ an old participation trophy from a bowling tournament. He claims that it’ll be the only trophy that AJ will gain from him. Dean then brings up the Ringropeitis incident and AJ’s haircut, causing a ‘soccer mom’ chant through the crowd. AJ brings his last trophy to attention, Cena’s armband, before dropping the bowling trophy. Dean Ambrose isn’t John Cena. Ambrose claims that he isn’t in a ring when he fights, he fights in a battlefield, refering back to when he beat Styles earlier in the year.  This leads to another Smackdown ending with dick trauma, as AJ kicks Ambrose in the junk, throws the trophy at him and Smackdown just sort of ends. Maybe we were pushed for time.

This Smackdown was a weird one, with only four matches taking place and a fixxled out ending. The highlights being Slater and Rhyno’s segments and The Uso heel turn, maybe Smackdown will be revitalised after Backlash.

Follow me on Twitter @Oliverwoodster




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