2 Days, 2 Episodes And 2 Reviews of Lucha Underground

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If you don’t know who this guy is, shame on you!

It’s time for another blog, wait a minute two blogs in 2 days? Yeah I know the saying you wait for a blog for ages then two come at once. Well this one is kinda the second part of my first previous blog to be honest and it continues with my review of the wrestling promotion Lucha Underground. Now those of you who read my blog post yesterday would know that I described it as an modern day version of ECW, and if you don’t know what ECW is? Shame on you!!! Now I know you’ll know what Lucha Underground is as you’ll have read my last review and if by a rare chance you don’t and didnt read my last blog, tut tut tut, go and read it and then come back and read this one.

The show immediately opens with a recap of Konnan with three unknown wrestlers who seemed to have formed some sort of clique. They are shown talking with the owner of Lucha Underground, Dario Cueto. Now how would I describe Dario? Think of an Hispanic version of Vince McMahon’s heel character and you got Dario. It then cuts to the three guys attacking a unknown wrestler. This guy goes by the name of Big Rick but it turns out it’s actually Ezekiel Jackson from the WWE. Wow another wrestler from WWE’s attempt to bring back ECW and if you read my blog yesterday you’ll know I dropped a hint of big Zeke being in this promotion. The shot then goes back to Dario Cueto and an unknown female wrestler, saying if Big Rick can defeat her he’ll get a 3-on-1 match with the attackers known as The Crew! Wait a minute there’s another intergender match? Only in Lucha Underround. Needless to say Big Rick beat this female wrestler and got his wish of getting retribution against The Crew. As the match ends Big Rick is attacked by The Crew but then the female wrestler known as Sexy Star (Original I know!) saves the day and Big Rick. It later turns out that she’s wants retribution for her friend who was injured by The Crew. Could we see Big Rick and Sexy Star team up against The Crew? I reckon so.

We then cut to a highlight reel of two masked luchadors wrestling each other in a series of matches when Dario comes out and announces a best of five series where the winner will get a unique opportunity. Hmm I wonder what the could be??

Finally we cut to the masked wrestler from last weeks promo who is now revealed to be a character by the name of Fenix??? With a manager who is formally Maxine from WWE NXT and they hype the casket match against Mil Muertes with a little more of the backstory. It looked like whoever Maxine is called was Muertes’s manager and when Meurtes defeated Fenix he turned on Maxine only for Fenix to save her. So this is the plot to the casket match. As I said yesterday I don’t envy a match against Muertes. Even though I know wrestlign is fake this guy is gunna crush you. I wouldn’t want to be Fenix!

The show opens with a Mexican band and shot of the crowd before we are greeted by our announcers. Now yesterday I told you this was Matt Striker and Vampiro and I gotta say this team impressed me. Once again the crowd is chanting again showing more passion and interest in the product then at any WWE event. We then go straight into the first match with the future Mrs Skatronixx introducing the competitors it looks like it’s the third match in the series of five between the two wrestlers seen earlier who are revealed to be Aerostar and Drago, Aerostar looks like a gold power ranger and makes his way into the ring with a series of flips and dives Drago looks like a dragon crossed with an extra from the rock band Lordi. Remember Lordi? This should be interesting.

MATCH 1 – Aerostar vs Drago

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 You wouldn’t want to run into this guy in a dark alley

Drago’s outfit has impressed me, I miss this element of wrestling. When I grew up in the early 90’s all the wrestlers had a character and stuck to it, these days in the big promotions it’s all muscly he-men body builders, I’d love to see a team of Drago and Pentagon Jr. I’d call them something like the ‘Hell Raisers’, Anyway back to the action. As for the actual match itself, we are treated to a mix of high octane moves where Aerostar is flipping up and around like a younger Psicosis and Drago occupying an array of unique and powerful submission moves. This match truly did remind me of watching a cruiserweight match from the days of WCW in the mid to late nineties. Highlights of this match Aerostar diving backwards of the top rope sending Drago onto the concrete (yes there’s no padding here) below. One word OUCH!!! Or Dargo’s rope hung DDT take note Randy Orton or his tilt a whirl come modified huricanarana slam, Aerostar comes out the victor in this one, I gotta say this is a little predictable and classic best of 5 matches where the face goes 2-1 up only for the heel to win the next one to settle it at 2-2 for the final match. How would I rate the match? Matches liek these are part of the reason I used to like wrestling. I admire the high flying acrobatics more than the power moves. I’d give it a 3 out of 5 easy. As for the wrestlers? Aerostar? Although I admire his arsenal the moveset is a dime a dozen for luchadors and his character is a little one dimensional think Cody Rhodes and you got Aerostar. Drago that’s another reason, this guy has the look and the talent but the best thing for him is to stay clear of the WWE as they’d ruin him. If I was him I’d stay in AAA where his character just seems to fit.

Post match we are then shown a quick promo for tonight’s main event the casket match, this is a quick promo as it\s been hyped all all of the last episode and the start of this one.

Another promo is then shown with Konnan playing chess against an unknown figure interjected with clips of Konnan attacking a man called Cage before getting beat down. The character shown to be playing chess against Konnan is his protege Lucha Underground champion Prince Puma. I know it’s Prince Puma even though we haven’t seen him in action yet as I did a little bit of research on the show beforehand. I have to say Prince Puma unmasked looks a hell of a lot like Turk from Scrubs, so that’s where he went when the show ended!!

The next match is hyped as Big Zeke I mean Big Rick takes on The Crew ina 3 on 1 elimination match.

MATCH 2 – Big Rick vs The Crew

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It’s Big Zeke from WWE with an eye patch! As if he wasn’t scary enough

First up I know how this match is gunna end for 3 reasons the first being the fact that The Crew look like a Mexican version of The Mean Street Posse, I’m sorry but I got two words for you JOB SQUAD. The second being that it’s a match about revenge, matches about revenge always end with the wronged guy getting his revenge, always and lastly it’s Big Rick who wouldn’t bet against him. Big Rick is clearly the favourite and my first impressions of him are like a mix of M Bison from the Street Fighter series mixed with Hannibal from theA-Team with a cigar. If you don’t believe me look for him yourself and you’ll see where I’m coming from. As for the match it was the usual handicap match where the fan favourite gets beaten down by the heels before overcoming the odds. Just as Big Rick is about to finish the last member of The Crew up for the win, he runs away from Big Rick only to be greeted by Sexy Star. I told you so 😉 needless to saySexy Star grabs the last remaining member of the Mexican Mean Street Posse and throws him in the ring to be beaten by Big Rick. Match wise I’d give this match a 1.5 out of 5, the quality was awful to be honest and why would I rate it that low? Well for two reasons, the first being I know Big Rick can actually wrestler so let him show off his moveset and the second being I think with a poor second match it’ll make the final match seem that much better. As for the wrestlers all need to stay in Lucha because to be honest it’s the best they can do sorry Big Rick!

We then get another promo hyping the main even, it’s the same promo from earlier. Another promo is showing showing that next week AAA champion the artist formally known as Alberto Del Rio from the WWE now known as Alberto Del Patron will defend his title in a bull rope match and Prince Puma will defend his Lucha Underground title against Cage. Now straight away when two championship matches are hyped this means that one champion will lose and my money is on Prince Puma as Alberto has only recently won his, sorry Puma!

MATCH 3 – Fenix vs Mil Muertes

This match has been hyped for two weeks so you know it’s gunna be good. Some people come out carrying the coffin and it’s hyped more or a Mexican version of a coffin match think a lil less Undertaker and a lil more day of the dead. How can I describe this match? Easy 5 out of 5! Yes 5 out of 5 the hype was totally worth it. We were treated to gore, acrobatics and more gore. Highlights of this match include, Fenix being busted open like I haven’t seen a wrestler being busted open in years! If you’re a fan of gore, do not I repeat DO NOT watch this match, it even had me a little queasy at times. Other highlights include a DDT onto the coffin, an almost superplex two stories up onto the conrete and crowd below before being tossed down two flights of steps like a bowling ball. I was right in what I predicted that Mil Muertes would destroy this other wrestler. However as for the result that was another story and you’ll have to watch it to find out what happens 😉

Don’t believe me the  match was awesome? Check it out here

So what were my overall thoughts on the show? Now I’ve seen two epsilons I gotta say I like it, when it’s good it’s REALLY good but when it\s bad it’s really bad but hey wasn’t the WWE bad at certain points? All I’ll say is when a crowd continually chants HOLY S*** it can’t be a bad thing.

An Interview With Top Fantasy Author Anthony Ergo

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Another one of the people who I wanted to interview for skatronixxx.com was my good friend and up and coming fantasy author and musician Anthony Ergo. We met at London Film and Comic Con, when myself and my author client RJ Truman were sat on a table next to him. I thought he was an awesome guy and he’s agreed to do a quick interview with skatronixxx.com
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1) How did you get into writing?

I have created stories, characters and worlds since before I could write (thanks to Lego, which I still bust out occasionally!) I started writing at school and won several short story and poetry contests. In recent years I decided to turn my stories into published works and I’ve been addicted to it ever since.
2) How would you describe your writing style to the casual reader?
Fast-paced, adventure-filled young adult thrillers with plot twists that you won’t see coming.
3) If I remember right, you mentioned that you had written children’s books previously 
what prompted you to move into writing for young adults?
Dystopia started out as a children’s horror novel but I soon realised that its themes and intensity were more suited to young adult readers. I find the young adult audience to be some of the most passionate readers out there and I was encouraged to stay within the genre and write the follow-up to the first book.Hysteria  was released on Halloween last year and plans are in place for a third book in the Dystopia series.
4) You’re also the bassist in a band called ‘Signed In Crimson’ do you find that you take inspiration from your music for your writing or vice versa?
There is definitely a connection between the two. My band is fronted by a young female vocalist who writes some powerful lyrics. I wrote Dystopia at the same time that we were writing and recording our debut album so there was a natural crossover. I have also been able to use some transferable skills, such as creating music videos and book trailers.
A video of Anthony’s band ‘Signed in Crimson’
5) Perhaps your most well-known book to date is ‘Dystopia’, how you would describe this book to someone who has not read it yet?
Dystopia is a genre-blending paranormal/dystopian novel. It’s about a superstitious young girl and how her life is affected by a catastrophic world-wide blackout which she is at the centre of (…that’s my attempt at a spoiler-free teaser!)

The front cover to Anythony’s book ‘Dystopia’
6) If a film was made of ‘Dystopia’ who would you like to play the main character and why?
Chloe Grace Moretz (Kickass) would be a nice fit for the role of Sasha. I think she could show both the character’s vulnerable side as well as discovering her inner-resilience.
7) We first met at London Film and Comic Con in 2014, do you do lots of conventions and can we hope to see you at LFCC again this year?
I do a lot of school visits but the 2014 London Film and Comic Con was my first convention. I decided to give it a try because it was the inaugural ‘Young Adult Literature Convention’ as part of the same event. It was great to meet so many people, both readers and fellow authors, and I’d definitely be interested in attending again.
8) What can we expect to see from you in 2015?
After releasing Hysteria, I decided to take a break from the Dystopia series. I’m actually working on a brand new novel called Plague Risers. It’s a zombie fiction with a twist, set in the Middle Ages. I studied the medieval period as part of my English and History degree and I want to recreate that authentic world. After reading the opening chapters, a friend described it as “Game of Thrones meets The Walking Dead”.

A preview of the front cover to Anythony’s  upcoming book ‘Plague Risers’
9) Tell our readers one fun fact about yourself that they may not already know?
As well as writing and music, my other pastime is playing as a hockey goalkeeper and having rock hard balls blasted at me!
10) Finally what advice would you have any advice for an upcoming writers?
Set yourself realistic goals, no matter how modest, and stick to them. I have a target for how many words I write per day, chapters per week, etc. Some days are more productive than others (and often I’ll re-read a previous day’s writing only to delete it or completely rework it). Lots of people have ideas for a story and many will start to write a book, but not all of them manage to finish. For me, it’s all about completing the first draft. Go with the idea that you’re most passionate about and it will never feel like a chore.
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There you go readers, Anthony Ergo! A fantasy author and a bassist, what more could you want ladies??? Be sure to check ‘Dystopia’ out now it’s available on Amazon now
 http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dystopia-YA-Paranormal-Adventure-Romance-ebook/dp/B00LMAWUYG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1404841922&sr=8-1&keywords=dystopia+anthony+ergo

Lucha Underground, Is It Worth The Hype???

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Lucha Underground is the newest wrestling promotion on the scene.

Ok it’s time for a long overdue blog! First of all I’d like to apologise for the delay, I know it’s been a while since I wrote my last blog but those of you who know me, know that I have had quite a lot of stuff going on both good and unfortunately bad. But it’s all under control, I’ve turned the corner and I’m here with another blog 🙂

What is this blog? Well those of you who know me know that 99% of my best mates all like wrestling as I detailed in a blog back in January I described it as a soap opera for men. Now as you know when a new soap opera comes out naturally the intruege is to check it out and see what it’s about, that’s why this blog is about a new wrestling promotion called ‘Lucha Undergroud’. So I thought I’d do an impartial review about this new promotion and see what it’s all about. So this blog is for my mates Greggo, @ellis57mark, @maninadress2013 and Matty!!

So what is Lucha Underground? Lucha Underground is well exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a federation comprising of some of the biggest Mexican wrestlers from AAA (their version of WWE) and independent wrestlers from the American scene. There are some familiar faces that the casual viewers of WWE will recognise. They do battle in what can almost be described as a scene from fight club, a dirty old school almost fit pit style. However the arena does not do the competitors justice as they use the ‘Lucha’ style of fighting. Now for those of you who don’t know what that means, it means they are basically high flyers, acrobatics, skilled ariel artists. Now if you’re thinking ‘Didnt wrestlers just pretend to hit each other in the face?’ well you’d be wrong.

I’m not gunna lie I’ve seen a little bit of Lucha before and the best way to describe it is as a modern day version of ECW. ECW? Really? Yes really if you don’t believe it, check it out for yourselves. Anyway on to my review. For this review I decided to review the latest show I could get my hands on. This was the episode from March the 11th and now on to my review!!

The show immediately opens with shots of the crowd where we are greeted by our announcers, fromer WWE announcer Matt Striker and cult wrestling icon Vampiro. Straight away I’m intrigued by this combo as in WWE Matt Striker was a clean cut almost Ned Flanders style commentator and Vampiro was the opposite, think hardcore wrestling then multiply it by 10 and you got Vampiro.

Matt Striker is wearing a leather jacket flanked by a Mexican band? What kind of show is this? You wouldn’t get caught dead seeing this in WWE. We are then told that this weeks main event will be none other than a steel cage. Now for those of you who don’t know, a steel cage is a steel structure that encompasses the ring. The only way to get out is to climb over the top or through the door. Pinfalls do not count in a steel cage, two men enter and only one man leaves. Anyway back to the review.

The action then goes back to Vampiro who gives us a run down of the upcoming matches, whilst doing so the crowd is chanting and getting fully engaged. You don’t get this kinda involvement in any of the big promotions, this is what’s missing from pro wrestling if you ask me. Fan engagement not muscly meatheads shoved down our throats. The shot then pans to the ring announcer (who is smoking!) who introduces the first match. Pentagon Jr vs Argenis.

MATCH 1 – Pentagon Jr vs Argenis

First up I’m struck by Pentagon Jr’s outfit, he looks like a bad character from Mortal Kombat mixed with skeletor for He-Man. Immediately the crowd are engaged chanting for both wrestler alike. As for the actual match itself, we are treated to a fast packed match full of action. Most of the moves that take place are unfortunately banned in WWE , so to see luchadors performing to their maximum ability without any restrictions is something that is refreshing and has not been seen since TNA had it’s old style x-division matches about 10 years ago. Highlights of this match include Pentagon Jr’s modified piledriver and dive into the crowd. The match ends when Pentagon Jr showing no regard for his opponent, locks in an arm bar for a submission finish. There is a post match beatdown, which further cements this guy as one of the up and coming heels. How would I rate the match? I’d say the match was short but ok, I’d give it a 2 out of 5 if only for the crowd’s engagement, if the match was longer and less one sided it may have got a 4 out of 5 in my eyes. As for the wrestlers? Argenis I’m sorry mate but I see you as a glorified mexican jobber you’re just to small and to bland, think Rey Myseterio but minus the personality as for Pentagon Jr, truth be told he was a bit sloppy but if he polishes up his finishing to go with his persona and outfit this kid could go far.

Check out this guys moveset he’s gunna be big one day

Outside of the action in the ring, I was damn impressed by the commentating, to goes to show what a big part of the story telling that the commentators are responsible for and by not having them scripted and allowing them to work freestyle how much better it can be. Matt Striker surprised me, well done Matt!

Post match we are then shown a quick promo for tonight main event featuring none other than Johnny Mundo aka John Morrison. John Morrison remember him? The next big thing in WWE who was one half of Miz and Morrison. Well he’s baaaaaaaaaaack and in Lucha Underground!

Another promo is then shown showing an attractive woman and some unknown wrestler. I missed what was said to be honest as when a Hispanic women speaks I’m just like hummana hummana hummana. We then go to a third promo which is dark and gritty with shadowed wrestlers, but wait who’s that in the background? It’s Konnan. For those of you who don’t know Konnn he is a legendary Mexican wrestler who has performed in WWE, WCW, ECW and TNA. So in the first 10 minutes we’ve had ex WWE wrestlers Matt Striker, John Morrison and Konnan, who next Ezekiel Jackson? From a production perspective I have to say I was impressed, they kept it simple and natural where WWE’s promo’s always seem too scripted this seemed scripted but not as scripted if that makes sense?

We then go a weird montage of a mexican wrestler in a pick up truck, the purpose of this I’m not entirely sure to be honest I found it a little confusing to be honest. Anyway now for match number two and back to that smoking ring announcer! Wait a minute who’s that in the ring he’s not from South Africa it’s Chris Sabin! Yes Chris Sabin who was in TNA and they’ve given him some lame name like Angelico, come on if you got Chris Sabin wrestling for you at least play off his name, this guy can wrestler. Anywho his opponent is ALEX SHELLEY MCMG REUNION!!! Nah I’m kidding you it’s just some man called Ivelisse. Wait a minute did I say man I meant WOMAN. It’s time for an intergender match. As for Chris Sabin it’s not actually him but some guy from South Africa, man those two look very similar I’m thinking long lost twins even their ring gear is the same.

MATCH 2 – Chris Sabin’s twin oops I mean ‘Angelico’ vs Ivelisse

The commentators start by saying. ‘We can beat you around the head by telling you about gender equality or we can bring you the best competition’, and I agree I’d much rather see a match between two talented wrestlers that is done SAFELY I’d like to add rather than another squash match featuring a muscly meathead. A special referee is then announced it’s ‘Son Of Havoc’ Ivelisse’s boyfriend, this does not not look good for Chris Sabin’s twin. The match itself features lots of take downs and acrobatic arial moves, however the main point of this match was the ongoing flirtation between the two competitors and the tension between Ivelisse and her boyfriend the guest referee Son of Havoc. I expect this storyline to be revisited down the line with an eventual face turn for Ivelisse. I’m thinking The Hardy Boys and Lita 2.0 with this storyline.

It’s Chris Sabin, no wait it’s his twin lol

How would I rate the match? I’d say the match was short but ok, I’d give it a 3 out of 5 if only for the crowd’s engagement, if the match was longer and less one sided it may have also got a 4 out of 5 in my eyes. As for the wrestlers? Angelico I see great potential in him, expect him to get picked up by WWE’s developmental scene NXT sometime soon but unfortunately rather than fulfill his potential I see him wasting his years before getting released and disappearing. The same could be said for Ivelisse if I was those two I’d ditch Son Of Havoc (Sorry Havoc) and goto ROH as the new ‘Team Extreme 2.0’ add another high flyer and there you go everyone wins well except Havoc lol!

Another promo is then shown with the same Hispanic women from earlier with legendary Mexican wrestler Mil Muertes hyping a coffin match between him and the wrestler shown earlier. If I was the first wrestler I really would not want to face Mil Muertes he makes Pentagon Jr look like a care bear.

We then go back to the commentators who are hyping the main event between Johnny Mundo (John Morrison) and King Cuerno. Again the crowd is still lively and into the event

MATCH 3 – Johnny Mundo vs King Cuerno

They have added the pinfall stipulation into this match, which I’m a kinda lil dissapointed about, but hey I’m sure the action will still be good. King Cuerno is the first to the ring and Im laughing. Why am I laughing? He has a deer head on his head, I mean why?? Cuerno is worshiping this dear head almost like The Undertakers urn. Why a deer? Maybe we will find out one day. The music is ominous and it’s clear from the outset that he is the heel. Out comes Johnny Mundo sporting the same ring attire and entrance from WWE it’s almost like the John Morrison of old. The match was not what I was expecting rather than it being a usual John Morrison highlight reel it had more of a slugfest feet the ending coming when Johnny hit a dive from the top of the cage.

How would I rate the match? I’d say the match was ok but not fast paced enough for my liking, I’d give it a 3 out of 5 it was good to see Johnny let off his leash but I’d have like to have seen it more. The company is obviously playing off his WWE character so let him run with it, show more of the moves we know he can do and don’t let him hold it back. I don’t think Johnny should go back to WWE as his talents would be wasted, if I was him I’d have him go to NJPW to take on The Bullet Club or go to ROH. It’s not a knock on his talents, it’s more a knock on companies not knowing how to book him. As for King Cuerno I see him doing really well in AAA he has that typical AAA look and persona.

Check out the Johnny Mundo vs King Cuerno match above and let me know what you think!

So what were my overall thoughts on the show? If you were a die hard WWE or even TNA fan you may not appreciate the lack of pyro and production quality but to the die hard wrestling fan you’d like it. It’s like I said it reminded me of old school ECW and to a lesser extent TNA when it first came out when it was about no limits rather than weight limits. It helps it’s also the only non PG televised wrestling show, I know there are other federations who are no PG too but not to the same extent and on the same level. So to summarise if you’re fed up with the PG era of WWE and want to watch some lucha style wrestling with elements of hardcore thrown in I’d definitely give it a go. Will it rival WWE? No! TNA? No! ROH maybe one day but that’s just my views you’ll have to check it out for yourselves.

An Interview With Paralympian Stephanie Millward

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It’s time for another interview this time it’s my new friend and Paralympian Stephanie Millward. I met Stephanie on Twitter and got speaking to her within the last couple of weeks or so if I’m honest. Like me and other internet blogger celeb Zoella, Stephanie is a Wiltshire native and as you know by now. I’m a great believer in supporting local people, so I asked Stephanie if she wanted to do an interview on skatronixxx.com and she said yes 🙂 Thanks Steph!
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1) How did you get into swimming?  
I was born in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia which has an incredible temperature of approx 40 degrees so I learnt to swim as a way of cooling down!! I swam for a club called ‘Saudi Sharks’ and I won loads of medals!  At the age of 8 I was invited to the Junior Olympics in the capital of Saudi Arabia Riyadh where I swam 100m backstroke and won a gold medal!!  My dreams were then all about Olympic gold!!
2) What was it like carrying the Olympic torch and representing the United Kingdom in the Paralympics games? 
Incredible!!! They were both once in a lifetime experiences with the torch being extra special because of the local crowd buzzing on the street cheering and enjoying it all and the home Olympics where the crowd screamed your name! Once in a life time!!  The crowds made both events and I felt so privileged to be part of both!! I felt very special on both occasions and I was very proud of myself! My family came to watch the Paralympics which made it even more exciting and the whole event was immense!!! Incredible!

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Stephanie with the 2012 Olympic Torch

 

3) You won four silvers and one bronze at London 2012, which one are you most proud of and why?
100m backstroke silver medal mainly because it was my first medal so therefore extra special but also because it is my favourite event!
4) You’ve written a book called ‘Paying the Price’, could you tell us a little bit about the book?
My autobiography or the story of my life so far was called paying the price because of a poem I wrote at the beginning of my illness MS 16 years ago. This was a painful time where I realised my dreams of being an Olympic swimmer were over as the disease ripped my life away from me.  The book is almost a diary of my life through the horrendous symptoms of the disease such as going blind and being paralysed and therefore my reactions to these events. It is funny to see how I change from blaming myself for doing something wrong to loving the MS as it has offered me so many wonderful opportunities!
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Stephanies’s autobiography ‘Paying The Price’ is out now
5) If a film was made of your life who would play you and why?
Sandra Bullock would play me as she is a fantastic actress and I think she would play it well!!
6) You attended the Corsham school, I myself am also from Wiltshire, how would you describe the county to our readers as I often have great difficulty in doing so?
Wiltshire is an incredible place!  It covers such a wide area with stunning historical stones in one location and lush green fields covering a large proportion of the county! I feel very proud to live in Wiltshire as every town tells its own incredible story with the local pubs being similar to a new book to open with different stories in each one! Wiltshire has numerous beautiful towns with dainty buildings. The people living in Wiltshire are also incredible many with smiles on their faces enjoying their daily events!  An incredible place to live!!
W Wonderful
I irresistible
L Lovely
T Terrific
S Stunning
H Happy
I Illustrious
R Radiant
E Evergreen
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Stourhead in Mere, Wiltshire one of the many scenic places in Stephanie’s and mine’s home county
7) Have you ever broken a world record and if so what’s that feeling like knowing you’ve achieved something and done better than no one else has done before?
I hold the 50m backstroke world record although this isn’t a Paralympics event and I hold many Wiltshire and European records.  I hold even more world and European records in a Short course (25m) pool.  It makes me feel very proud of myself as being the best in the world ever is pretty amazing!!
8) What can we expect from you in 2015?

 

World championships!!!  I will be swimming in the trials for the World Championships at the end of March and then the actual World Championships at the end of July in Glasgow which will be exciting events! I wish to swim really well and hope to improve my personal best times in all my events!  I am also organising a concert which will take place just under the beautiful white horse in Westbury on 22nd August 2015 which will raise money for a number of charities!!
9) Tell our readers one fun fact about yourself that they may not already know?
I have a fear of water!!!  I fell into the water whilst a baby in Jeddah and almost drowned before my dad saved my life! I struggle with staying underwater after a turn because of this fear!
10)  Finally what advice would you have for an upcoming paralympian?
Believe in yourself! You can do anything if you believe it enough!  Winston Churchill said something very important ‘Never never never give up’. I feel this is so important whenever life gets too hard for us.  Keep smiling!  Just about whenever you smile at someone their natural reaction is to smile back. Give everyone a gift of your smile and let them smile too!!  Spread happiness!!
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There you go readers Stephanie Millward! Look out for Stephanie in the World Trial championships at the end of March and the World Championships in July. I for one will be cheering her on and wish her all the best 🙂
Be sure to follow Stephanie on Twitter she’s https://twitter.com/steph_millward and check out her awesome autobiography ‘Paying The Price’ now http://www.amazon.co.uk/Paying-Price-Stephanie-Millward/dp/1903056799 I’ll be reading this one Steph! Don’t be shy go say hi and tell her ‘Skatronixxx Sent Me!’

Skatronixxx Is In The News!

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Yes I Skatronixxx have made the news, no I did not co-ordinate the worlds largest conga line or run the furthest distance humanly possible smothered in human whilst chased by a bear although both of those would be truly newsworthy stories! Instead I awoke from my zombie like slumber to find  a notification on Twiiter that caught my attention. Now those of you who follow me know that I go through all my notifications religously and although I may not reply to every tweet I at least favourite every response that I get. After all you take the time to to tweet me it’s the least I can do to return the favour, plus I love you guys, you’re awesome you’re like my second family all around the world 🙂

 

Anywho I digress, this one caught my attention, it was from one of my tweeps who shall remain nameless, and it said ‘@skatronixxx you’re (even more) famous, 2nd tweet down’. Now waking up half groggy at 3am I was like oh it must be spam! Unfortunately I to am subjected to the usual twitter spam i.e. ‘see what this person has been saying about you’. Normally I ignore them but I hestinatly clicked on the URL ( http://metro.co.uk/2015/02/18/breaking-burger-king-is-trialling-a-delivery-service-in-parts-of-the-uk-5068781/ ) as I saw it was from ‘The Metro’. Now for my tweeps who live abroad, The Metro is a free newspaper that is given out to commuters on buses and at train stations, I quite like it for a free paper, so I thought hmm why not!
My mind was racing, what had they found out about me (guilty conscience)? Am I finally getting the recognition I deserve? Was it a wanted poster? Am I the most wanted cyber criminal or as one of my good friends put it last night ‘Skatronixxx is the housewives favourite’, have I become a pin up for the middle aged and elderly? *shudders*  When I clicked on the link I was greeted with a story about Burger King! Yes Burger King!! Hmm why was I mentioned in a story about Burger KIng? Did they find out that I am the most loyal customer of Burger King and hate thier rival McDonalds and wanted to crown me ‘Skatronixxx The King Of Burger King’? Well that would be a lie I do occasionally go to Maccy D’s but onlu when they have thier specials on other than that I’m 100% Burger King.
The headline read ‘Breaking: Burger King is trialling a delivery service in parts of the Uk’, then it clicked I had heard about this a couple of days ago, prior to The Metro finding out and had put a photo I saw of a Burger King delivery guy floating around on my Twitter account. I read and scrolled through the article thinking what will this journalist say about me and then BAM my tweet had be featured, under the tagline ‘These Guys Are Ahead Of The Game’. Thank you Alison Lynch why yes I am ahead of the game, but alas I am not in the area for Burger kIng delivery so it’s a 3 mile trip down the road for Mr Skatronixxx 😥

Now as for the logisitcs of a burger delivery, I have a few questions, how can you not eat the fries whilst in transit? How do you stop the filling from falling out? How do you make sure that your burger does not become a meaty gelantinous goop, although I for one would still eat it? You have intruged me Burger King and helped get me some free publicity, what have you done for me lately MCDonalds? One time I eat there you left the bottom of my burger, one question how???

Well that’s been the roller coaster of my morning so far, it may not be much to some people but I found it pretty cool, and hought I’d share this with you.
—– UPDATE —–
Since I got back from work I’ve found requests from The Daily Mail and ITV news wanting to use my tweet in a story regarding the Burger King deliveries!

You can see me in the Daily Mail story here http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/food/article-2959807/Burger-King-trials-delivery-service-eight-UK-locations.html

But alas I’m yet to hear from ITV News!
—– FURTHER UPDATE —–
I am now on the following websites:-

Complex – http://uk.complex.com/pop-culture/2015/02/burger-king-launched-delivery-uk

Howproblemsolution.com – http://help.howproblemsolution.com/1781329/prepare-for-maximum-lazyness-burger-king-are-now-doing-deliveries-in-the-uk

Daily Mail – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/food/article-2959807/Burger-King-trials-delivery-service-eight-UK-locations.html

The Metro – http://metro.co.uk/2015/02/18/breaking-burger-king-is-trialling-a-delivery-service-in-parts-of-the-uk-5068781/

The Truth 24.com – http://thetruth24.com/article/129810/burger-king-delivery-chain-set-to-revolutionise-hangovers-by-bringing-burgers-to-your-door

 Wow so I’m now on 19 news websites, you gotta admit that is pretty damn cool, however it’s also kinda amusing that only the Daily Mail contacted me to ask if they could use my tweet. It just goes to show, be careful what you could post as it could be seen by anyone, anywhere but on the plus side, woop go me!!!

They say everyone has a book in them! But do I???

They say everyone has at least one great book in them, one amazing award winning story waiting to get out, trying to jump out of your mind and onto paper. I’ve been on twitter a while and one thing that I was always intrueged by was something called #writinghour . It’s where people write for an hour and share the results online. I for one know I’m not a great writer, however as a former literary agent and publicist for my ex wife and due to the fact I know some pretty cool writer people I decided to give it ago. Just load up my keyboard and type away to my hearts content no matter how random it may be and here was my result!!
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They say some people are born great whilst others have greatness thrust upon them, I was neither. You see growing up I didn’t really have many friends, I guess you could say comic books and action figures were my friends. I didn’t really have a talent either, unless you count being fodder for the local bullies. I was well just plain and normal. Normal height, normal intelligence, normal looks. If I was a flavour of crips I guess you could say I was ready salted. Good old dependable ready salted, it may not be the most glamourous of the crips but you always find it in the multipack bags just  sitting there, hoping to be eaten, unlike the controversial cheese and onion or salt and vinegar. If I was a biscuit I guess I’d be a digestive, anywho I digress. I tend to do that alot, let my mind wander and I guess that’s how I ended up in the situation I am now.
What situation is that I hear you ask? Well lets just say it involves aliens, a dragon, a princess and robots, no I wasn’t transported to a fantasy land or even imagined it. Although I am at a special place with those entities, they are sadly not real. I’m at ComiX Ex-pose 3000 where the aliens are a pair of teenage goth twin girls called Caitlyn and Harmony, who came here with thier dad. They became hooked on UFO’s after watching Alien Smashers, the top grossing film of the year where a man and his pet hamster join forces to stop the impending alien invasion of hamsters. Yes a normal hamster teams with a man to stop an invasion of space hamsters from Pluto. Society worries me sometimes, seriously! Thier outfits are a mixture of your classic grey alien with big bulging eyes and small silver grey body, the only difference being that these outfits have big hamster teeth and a small hamster like stumpy tail. I know I said it earlier and I’ll say it again, society worries me *sighs* The dragon, a middle aged balding insurance salesman called Steve Walsowski, who although he is 43 and lives with his mum, inists that she lives with him, although he pays her rent and lives in the basement of her three bedroom colonial townhouse. The princess a chinese woman called Biyu, who looks striking in an emerald green dress and tiara combo, based of the Princess Lian from the sucessful book series ‘Princess Lian The Eteneral Princess Of Light’, although a lil shy and out of place, I think she’s a convention virgin. As for the robots? Don’t get me started on the robots, they are only here because it’s now ‘scene’ to like comics, whereas it’s ironic these same robots would picked on me ten years ago for liking comics and calling it babyish they are now here attempting to win points and score with cosplay chicks because it’s the ‘cool thing to do’.

How do I know all this? Well if I told you that I’d have to kill you, haha I’m joking or am I? *serious face* Nah it’s cool, you’re here reading this and I have cunninngly wrote this book under a pseudonym, so like other more popular characters from various universes you’ll never know it’s me.

I could be the old lady sat in front of you on the bus, the attractive guy you sit next to at work with the cheesey smile or even your mum! Back to the point at hand, how do I know this? Well did I mention I’m a supervillan? Why a supervillan? I bet you were expecting a superhero weren’t you! Well why not, think about it, a shy loner guy who got shunned by society for liking comics as a teenager, bitter by society embracing the same thing they mocked him so harshly for years ago. Where’s the justice? I’ll tell you where the justice is, it’s in my plasma ray gun shooters mwuahahahaha. No in all seriousness I wish I could be a supervillan that would be amazing, it’s actually a much more mundane existance for I’m the ‘ticket guy’.

Yes the guy who sits behind a perspex screen in a booth and checks the tickets for the people who get to be inside the glorius heavenly land whilst I am shunned and in the desolate arid wasteland outside looking in. No one bats an eyelid towards me as they hand over thier ticket for validation, whereas at a gig or music festival where I would have the power, to turf people away for attempting to break into my kingdom. Here my role is diminished to attaching wristbands and overhearing stories from people, rather than actually being talked to, whilst my supervisor 10 years my junior makes out with his chav girlfriend sitting behind, whilst they mock those in attendance.
I knew right then that I had to change my life, I had to be someone, I had to be a hero, I had to save the world well after my lunch break that is! Little did I know that’s what actually would happen ……
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Well that was my hour! First thoughts? It was quite easy, fun and extremely random to just write put your thoughts down and go with the flow, it’s kinda like blogging. I can see why people do it.
As for the actual content? Hmm I have no idea what made me think of that, was it my past experiences of being at Comic Con’s and engaging in people watching. After reading it back it seemed like quite a good idea for a screen play of a Jack Black style film where a hapless ticket guy gains super powers and ends up saving the world at a comic convention? The funny thing is that actually sounds like quite a good film and I’d probably watch it, maybe I’m onto a winner here! If you the reader of this or Hollywood steal my idea I’m coming for you 😉
Well that’s my attempts at writing for an hour, I suggest you give it a go, you may just surprise yourself.

An Interview With British Music Sensation Jet Luckhurst

 

When the idea of having of having interviews on skatronixxx.com came about one of the first names of suitable people that popped into my head was my good friend Jet. I’ve known him for a little while (We both come from the same town and worked together) and I’ve always been interested in his music, I’m a great believer in promoting people I know personally as well so the interview was a no brainer really! Rather than me tell you about him, I decided to think of several questions to ask Jet and you can see his responses below!
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1)How did you get into music?
Honestly, the Backstreet Boys! I’m not even kidding.. My sister used to listen to them from a young age and I liked the beats, catchy melodies and dare I say it, the image.. I used to sing along to the point where I still remember most of the lyrics to this day.. My family have a background in music as well but this is my earliest childhood memory where I realised I wanted to sing..
2) How would you describe your musical style to the casual listener?
Catchy Acoustic Pop with rock elements..
A teaser video taken from Jet’s YouTube music page
3) What’s your current album called and how would you describe it?
I have 2 current EP’s out, ‘A Light In The Dark’ and ‘Cities Beneath The Sea’ however they are much older material and different to the style I perform nowadays.. I am currently in the process of recording new material which I am very excited about..
4) If I remember right you were almost the new lead singer for a fairly well known band a couple of years ago would you like to tell our readers what band this was?
That’s true although, as it never came to be, only close friends know this, so I tend to like to keep it as a secret 😉
5) With the rise of musical talent shows such as X-Factor and The Voice? Do you find that these are a positive thing or negative thing for music industry and have you ever been tempted to audition for one?
Personally, they aren’t for me however they are there for a reason, and those that participate fit that demographic.. I’m not a fan of manufactured production line acts, it’s slightly robotic and doesn’t fully portray the struggle a real musician goes through to get there through their own means.. Talent needs to be nurtured and so I don’t agree with shows that accelerate this for a quick pound (buck)..
6) If you could duet with any one person dead or alive who would it be and why?
Although they are a duo, the band that got me into acoustic music, the ‘Kings Of Convenience’. Their music has consistently influenced different stages of my life for the past 10+ years. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be doing what I do acoustically.
7) If you could form a band with one guitarist, one bassist and one drummer who would you pick and why?
Guitarist – Andy McKee (technically versatile and extremely creative)
Bass – Marcus Miller (Just listen to ‘Power’ it’ll blow your mind tank)
Drummer – John Bonham (My all time favourite drummer! Led zeppelin, need I say more?)
8) What can we expect to see from you in 2015?
New music! My own tour and music videos! I also want to arrange a crowdfunding type release where I can offer incentives like house shows and specially personalised songs for people that invest..
9) Tell our readers one fun fact about yourself that they may not already know?
My mum once dated Bob Dylan.
10) Finally what advice would you have any advice for an upcoming musician?
Focus on your own journey, don’t try and be someone else and don’t worry about how much further along someone else might be because chances are someone is just behind you doing the same..
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There you go readers, Jet Luckhurst! He’s currently supporting 80’s mega group T’Pau on tour currently, details of this tour can be found below, if he goes to an arena like you I’d 100% recommend seeing him, he’s gunna be big one day 😉
I for one would definately spend an afternoon listening to his music be sure to check out either his own page on skatronixxx.com or his YouTube page here https://www.youtube.com/user/JetLuckhurstMusic
Follow him on Twitter he’s https://twitter.com/jetluckhurst or Facebook on https://www.facebook.com/JetLuckhurst and tell him ‘Skatronixxx sent you!’

A He-Man reboot for 2015

heman
 Who remembers this classic from the 1980’s?

A lot of films and tv shows have been remade or ‘rebooted’ over the years as Hollywood loses it’s originality and churns up old ideas from our childhood for a new generation to get attached to. Some names that spring to mind are Transformers, TMNT, The Chronicles of Narnia and endless (and endless) remakes or reboots of Batman. Some that haven’t been done are films and TV shows that could benefit from a ‘reboot’ so to speak such as Captain Planet, Toxic Crusaders, Attack Of The Killer Tomaotes the list is endless. For today’s piece I’m going to write about a cult classic that I feel would be ripe for a remake, and it’s not Marvel or DC! What could it be? Well the answer is simple I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!! Yes that’s right He-man!

 I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!

I know right know some of you will be marking out in the style of WWE wrestler Daniel Bryan going ‘ Yes Yes Yes’ whereas some of you may be going He-Man? Is that a male stripper? Well for those of you that don’t know He-Man was a TV series that was around in the mid to late 1980’s it basically revolved around Prince Adam and his ability to take a glass of man up juice and become He-Man to kick his arch nemesis’s Skeletor’s ass. Think Popeye with mythical creatures and evil baddies, minus the annoyance of Olive Oil. Yes that’s right I compared He-Man to Popeye, I went there. Who is Skeletor? Well quite simply he is half man, half skeleton he is Skeletor! Now I know some of you may be going that doesnt sound scary but trust me, him and Mumm Ra (From Thundercats) were two of the most terrifying cartoon baddies for anyone aged between 29-34 growing up. If you don’t believe me, go visit YouTube after reading this article I’ll be proved right.

So why do I think He-Man would be a good candidate for a remake or reboot? Well it’s simple really, cult classics are in and I feel that He-Man although the obviously cliched 1980’s sounding name may need a twerk (no NOT the Miley Cyrus kinda twerk) all the elements are there for it to be a big success. People my age are now at the age where we have young children and what better way to introduce your child to the things you love then doing it through a modern version of it. I know if Skatronixxx Jr was a little bit older we would have seen Transformers or Batman at the cinema but that is a long way down the line.

I think the best way to work this article would be by a quick break down of the key characters from the original movie and give ideas on who I think would be ideal candidates for the roles this time around.

He-Man/Prince Adam

He-Man’s main power was superhuman strength, he was once described as the ‘most powerful man in the unvierse’ however if he is He-Man for too long he’ll revert to his alter ego of Prince Adam. He rarely however resorts to combat and only uses it as a last resort and prefers to outwit and outsmart his foes. For me the choice was simple and in a remake of He-Man I’d have THE ROCK playing him. Why The Rock, well to be honest as He-Man is strong you need a muscly character who is adaptable and also able to play the intelligent role, for me The Rock is the only logical choice here. As for Prince Adam? Well I’d still have The Rock but use the same effects they used on Chris Evans in Captain America to make him look smaller than he actually is. I know some people may say what about Channing Tatum? Well I have a role lined up for him later 😉

Skeletor

Skeletor was depicted as a muscular blue humanoid figure. His main power was his mystical abilities and sorcery, he was also able to teleport himself, send telepathic commands to his minions and grow plants (yes grow plants!). He was also known for having an evil cackling piercing laugh that would strike fear into the heart of many children. For me this choice was quite trickier, I initially thought Tom Hardy but was unsure as to wether he would fit the role. I eventually settled on one of geekdoms most favourite son’s BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH. Why BC? Well why not? Yeah I know you are probably thinking but Skeletor has to be muscly, BC isn’t! Well does he really have to be muscly? In my version I’d prefer to have Skeletor make the most of his mystical sorcery powers and who better than BC? Think of Sherlock but evil, that would be gold right?

Sorceress

Sorceress is the person who gives He-Man his powers she is known for being wise and is considered the most powerful spell caster on Eternia. Again this was a hard choice to pick but I decided to go with EVA MENDES. Why Eva Mendes, well I was stuck with who to pick with this one but I think she’ll be good as the wise head amongst the younger colleagurs. Yes I know she’ll be one of the youngest amongst the cast but hey if you can make The Rock look skinny I;m sure you can make Eva look slightly older. As for her portrayal, think Halle Berry’s ‘Storm’ in X-Men.

Teela

 

Teela is the captain of the Royal guard and responsible for protecting Prince Adam, she assists him in battle but is completely unaware the Adam and He-Man are one in the same. For this character you would need someone who is quick, athletic and not afraid to kick arse. Although Jennifer Lawrence may be the obvious choice for this one I decided to go with ALEXANDRA DADDARIO. Now I know you’ll be going WHO??? When I tell you her most famous film role I know some of you will know her and agree with me completely. AD was fesity kickass Anna Beth in the Percy Jackson series. Who better to play the role of Teela than someone with experience within a current role and as for why I didn’t pick Jennifer Lawrence? I didn’t want the remake and casting to be too obvious and went with characters who I thought for me would be good fits like those mentioned before.

Man-At-Arms

Man-At-Arms is a character who is battle hardy and Teela’s dad. For this I needed someone old enough to play the part but still look hard enough to kick ass and for this role I chose none other than MICKEY ROURKE. Why Mickey Rourke? Why not? He’s battle hardy and has the scars to prove it, is tough enough to play the role and a believable age to be AD’s father for me this choice was simple.

Ram Man

 

For me this is the choice that I feel CHANNING TATUM would be ideal for. Ram Man is a dimwitted, tough as nails warrior with a heart of gold. Who better than CT? I feel he’d truly excel in this supporting cast role alongside Mickey Rourke as Man-At-Arms, now who wouldn’t pay to see that duo kickass?

Cringer/Battle Cat

 

Cringer is the cowardly lazy, often over eating companion of Prince Adam (think Garfield the cat and you got Cringer). When He-Man transforms into He-Man he brings Cringer with him transforming this cowardly cat into his fierce alter ego of Battle Cat. For me I chose to pick the character based on what he could bring to the role as Cringer rather than Battle Cat and although for some it may be an obvious answer to go with Seth McFarlane for me it has to be the other Seth the one and only SETH ROGEN. I feel that Seth Rogen would be awesome as Cringer and would be able to bring his uniqueness to the role like only he can. If you’re not sure on this, just watch a clip of Seth Rogen on YouTube and imagine him as a cowardly cat with your eyes shut, I dare you!

Beast Man

Beast Man is pretty much what he say he’s a beast who’s also a man, think Sabretooth from X-Men, this one is so obvious no further comments are needed other than RON PERLMAN.

Mer-Man

 

Mer-man is an aquatic king of a species that inhabits the sea of Eternia. This character would rely highly on special effects and again like above the choice for this role is obvious. Who better to pay the random Mer-Man than the versatile king of random characters than the one and only ANDY SERKIS. Think about it Gollum but aquatic, it just fits no further explanation is needed!

Evil-Lyn

 

Evil-Lyn is the only female member of Skeletors’ gang of warriors, she’s a combination of brains, beauty and a fiery determination. Evil-Lyn is also secertly plotting to usurp Skeletor and take over his gang. Who better to play this mix of beauty and brains than the ANGELINA JOLIE, yes I know it may be cliché given her outing in Disney’s Maleficent but who wouldn’t want to see her play that kind of role but alongside Benedict Cumberbatch as the one and only Skeletor?

Right that’s my casting for the hypothetical He-Man reboot, I hope you like the choices, I know that each one of you may have your own opinions but hopefully that’s what this article is meant to do, get your creative brain juices flowing, who would you have as He-Man? Let me know now!

Transformers The Movie – A Review 29 Years Later

One Of My Fave Childhood Films

Ok for my new series of blog posts. I have decided to do film reviews of my fave 5 films in the next 5 days. Why would I do that I hear you ask? Well the answer is easy, it gives me a chance to rewatch some of my favourite films from yesteryear and today and share them with you!. What are these films you may ask? Well the first one is one of my childhood faves ‘Transformers The Movie’.

If you don’t know what Transformers are they are autonomous robotic lifeforms from space who can transform into handy useful household objects, not things such as an egg whisk or dildo but rather things like a boombox (you have to remember it is the 80’s people!) and cars. There are two kinds of Transformers the goody goody Autobots who are here to protect the earth and it’s natural resources. They are named Autobots because most of their forms are cars and the evil Decepticons who are able to transform from anything such as a pistol to plane.

The movie is set in the previously distant future of 2005. Where the Autobots and Decepticons have now both settled on earth and are constantly waging their war. The movie originally came out in 1986 and as I would have been 2 when this came out the first time I was treated to this many years later and it became one of my fave films and I can still almost quote it word for word to this day. But why choose this as my first film the answer was simple whilst surfing YouTube on Sunday trying to find stuff for my son to watch, he rejected Elmo and such but he was drawn into the Transformers , which we stumbled on accidently. Yeah my 10 month old son likes Transformers, go Skatronixxx Jr he has good taste like his daddy. This got me thinking why not chose this for my first review so here we are!

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The film opens with a shot in space with a giant robotic planet that will later be revealed as Unicron traveling through space set to a backdrop of eeiree emotive music. If you didn’t know who Unicron was before, you could tell by this music alone that he was bad news. You are then transported to a planet full with other autonomous robotic life forms who are not the transformers. They are blissfully unaware living their life before you see them scurry and flee in a panic as Unicron descends on the planet. His pincers grapple the robots home planet and pulls it towards his almost octopus mouth devouring everything. The lack of speech other than ‘Get to the ships, it’s our only chance’ set against the continually eeiree emotive almost mechanical music adds to the element of this intro. You see the lifeforms try to flee before being sucked into his giant robotic mouth parts. You are then transported into the belly of the beast as you see him devouring the planet and it’s inhabitants before setting course for Cybertron (The home planet of the Transformers).

The film then immediately cuts into an 80’s revamped version of the Transformers theme tune and title sequence. Now if anyone reading this remembers the G1 into they will know it was amazing, however the movie theme tune was a perfect fusion of 80’s metal shredding guitars and drums and the original lyrics. This Transformers film would be PG and it would kick ass. As a kid watching this movie when you’ve seen a giant badass robot already eat a planet in the first few minutes you ask yourself what could come next? It is also IMPOSSIBLE not to sing along to this theme tune. TRANSFORMERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ROBOTS IN DISGUISE!!!

The Intro To The Movie I DARE You Not To Sing You Failed Right???

After the title sequence you are then transported to a view of Cybertron where the voiceover tells you that the Decepticons have vanquished the Autobots from their home planet. Laserbeak comes into play as he fly’s over to the Autobots secret bases on Cybertrons moons. Now it’s not quite a secret base if Laserbeak the chief spy has been sent on a secret mission to scout them, plus they are moons! Come on Megatron couldn’t you have taken over the moons too? You then see what Laserbeak see’s and it’s the Autobots led by their heroic leader Optimus Prime plotting to take back Cybertron from the Decepticons where Optimus ultimately says the immortal words ‘All we need is a little energon and a lot of luck’. This plan is heavily reliant on Ironhide (second in command of the Autobots) piloting a mission to to Autobot City on Earth to gather enough energon to launch a full scale assault on Cybertron to reclaim their home planet. You see Ironhide leading the other Autobots such as joint second in command Prowl, chief medic Ratchet and grumpy grizzly war veteran Brawn on the mission to Autobot City.

Now that Laserbeak has gathered his intel on the Autobot mission it is automatically replayed to an eagerly anticipated Megatron who utters the immortal like ‘More than you can imagine Optimus Prime’ as he conjurors up his master plan.

The Autobot ship is show flying through space before a heavy metal music score kicks in an the Autobots who had been the main characters are brutally killed not just killed but annihilated by the Decepticons. As a kid I was like WOW as an adult it still amazes me at the brutality of this scene and the death of so many beloved characters especially Ironhide getting shot in the head pointblank range by Megatron. Savage just savage but AWESOME!!!

Most BRUTAL Death Scenes In Any Film EVER

We are then treated to a scene of Hot Rod and Daniel fishing, I never really got this scene other than setting the peaceful mood on earth. Daniel’s tablet (yes he had a tablet!) kicks in notifying him that the ship is about to land and him and Hot Rod set off to meet the ship to a cheesey upbeat 80’s song. I gotta add at this point that all the songs and cartoons have meshed perfectly, films of today could learn something from this.

The Perfect Fusion Of Cartoon And Music

Upon reaching the aptly named ‘Lookout Mountain’ they quickly notice there is a hole in the ship, upon closer inspection it is revealed to be the Decepticons looking to sneak into Autobot City in their own ship, ala Trojan Horse. When the Decepticons realise the rue is up the entire Decepticon fleet pour out the ship attacking Hot Rod and the other Autobots nearby such as grizzly war veteran Kup. Kup ends up saving Hot Rod from Blitzwing’s fire before they exchange words showing an uneasy alliance between the grizzly war veteran and cocky brash and up and comer as they head back to Autobot city as the attack ensues.

The action then transfers back to Autobot City where we see Perceptor, Ultra Magnus and co coming under heavy artillery. Ultra Magnus is seen taking command ordering the various Autobots to do their various roles in Optimus Primes absence. Again there is more metal music playing in the background as we see Springer and Arcee transform Autobot City to war mode. My favourite scene kicks in where Starscream who is shooting at Springer gets his foot caught in the transforming city before uttering the word F*** as he blasts his own foot to free himself. This is cut out in 99% of the films but it is real, trust me on this one and if you don’t google it!

Megatron then unleashes his Insecticons into the fray who eat the wall allowing the Decepticons to gain access to the city. Just as it looks like they are about to gain access Hot Rod and Kup come down and basically well roadkill the Insecticons to gain entry. Mmm squished Insecticons.

We then cut to my favourite Autobot of all Blaster, who is tasked with the mission of contacting Optimus Prime for reinforcements, just a she gets the message out Blasters nemesis Soundwave set’s his cassette tape minions on Blaster who responds in kind. Another immortal word is uttered here by Frenzy who says ‘ First we crack the shell then we crack the nuts inside’. Blaster and Soundwave wouldn’t work in today’s age, you couldn’t have MP3 players with robotic songs downloaded from Pirate Bay kicking ass. When questioned as to whether the message gets through to Prime, Blaster responds by saying ‘I hope so otherwise we will all look like burnt out toaster ovens’. The script writers were on fire in this one.

Burnt Out Toaster Ovens

We then see Megatron and his army descending about to break through the barriers are Springer and Arcee are almost there to complete the final transformation of Autobot City, upon arriving they see the fallen bodies of Windcharger and Wheeljack both of who have been mercilessly killed by the Decepticons. First Ironhide and Prowl, now Wheeljack, why do they keep killing all my fave old school transformers who next Optimus Prime??? Just as it looks like all hope is lost Hot Rod, Kup and the annoying Daniel turn up and help them turn round the giant robotic crossbow???

Daniel peers over a ledge to see the Constructicons merge into Devastator (seriously is this kid a bad luck charm or what???) We then cut to a shot of time passing by before Megatron informs us their defenses are broken and the slaughter is about to begin. As Devastator pulls the barriers apart. Oh no, the Autobots are really in for it this time! Wait a minute there’s a ship piloted by Prime. YAY Optimus. Optimus orders the Dinobots into the fray to destroy Devastator. Now this is hardly fair one giant robot against 5 small dinosaurs? I know who my moneys on.

Just when we think the tide had turned the Decepticons way, we see Optimus roll into battle with more cheesey emotive 80’s music playing. The Decepticons are shooting at him but wait it’s just bouncing off, remember these are the same guns that killed poor old Ironhide and co, he is truly a badass old Prime. I like that fact that Optimus swiftly transformers to robot mode mid air and shoots all the Decepticons down in one guy. I heard an interview that Optimus was based on a heroic cowboy and I can see it in this scene. Once the Decepticons are shot down , Optimus and Megatron come face to face and the immortal line is uttered ‘One shall stand and one shall fall’.

The battle to end battle ensues as Hot Rod tried to get in on the action but is told to stay back by Kup as it’s Primes fight. WHAT? NO????? OPTIMUS has been hit by shrapnel in the chest, he will be ok won’t he? That doesn’t scare Prime instead he retaliates with an axehandle uppercut and Megatron goes down losing his plasma cannon. But Megs has another weapon his energy sword and thrusts it into the already injured midsection of Prime. This isn’t looking good for Prime 😥 but wait he’s come back again, man this is the fight to end all fights. Why watch UFC or WWE when you can watch the two hardest robots of all time knock lumps out of each other? Optimus has Megatron begging for mercy , but alas it’s a rue Megatron has spotted an unused gun and just about as he is about to use it Hot Rod (yes Hot Rod again!) jumps into the fray and is swiftly hold hostage by Megatron who proceeds to shoot Optimus in his already injured midsection. DAMN YOU HOT ROD!!! With Optimus’s last ounce of strength the double axehandle comes into play again as he knocks Megatron flying over a wall and down 3 storeys before ultimately collapsing.

Best Fight Scene EVER

The Decepticons retreat in Astrotrain (yes a train that can travel in space) as we switch to Prime hooked up on a life support system as Perceptor advises us that Optimus is about to die. Before passing on he hands over the matrix to Ultra Magnus as he ultimately turns grey, and dies. Now as a kid watching the scene was horrific, now I know Optimus Prime ALWAYS dies in the movies but this was the first time and the most harrowing of all the transformer death scenes. It’s a little bit confusing as to how Optimus turns grey when all the others didn’t, was it because he was older and made of a cheaper metal? Hmmm the mind boggles

What Kid Didn’t Cry To This Bit?

We then pan back to Unicron who is watching Optimus die on his optic circuits before letting out an almighty scream in disgust, how can he possibly see that? Has he got super super zoom in lenses or something? We then go back to Astrotrain who informs him defacto leader that he is carrying too much wait and cannot make it back to Cybertron. The time for dumping deadweight has come and Megatron and the other bots are mercilessly tossed out into space like yesterdays trash. Shortly after a battle ensues as to who the new leader of the Decepticons should be, the Constructicons swiftly form Bruticus, which is amusing as it makes you think just how big is the ship Astrotrain is. Is it the tardis???

Megatron’s almost lifeless body comes into sight as him and the other battered Decepticons float into Unicrons orbit. Now know as how Unicron dismantled other robots Megatron doesn’t stand a chance right? WRONG! It turns out that Megatron was summoned by none other than Unicron himself. Hmm this just got interesting!! What does Unicron have in place for Megatron? A hilarious back and forth ensues between the two where Unicron states that he will give Megatron a new body and troops in exchange for the promise that he will destroy the Autobot matrix as it is the one thing than can stop Unicron. Remember that people!! Megatron is swiftly transformed into the new Decepticon swiftly named Galvatron, with the other bots making up his new army of Scourge, Cyclonus and Co.

Starscream comes back into the play as his coronation of Decepticon leader is taking place before being swiftly destroyed by Galvatron in one shot. Now why didn’t Megatron do that years ago? Needless to say Galvatron is the new Decepticon leader. Unicron happy with this is seen descending onto Cybertron and Cybertrons moons. Cybertron Moon Base 1 is first to go with Jazz and Cliffjumper trying to escape before ultimately being sucked inside. NO, JUST NO!! FIRST IRONHIDE THEN WHEELJACK, THEN PRIME AND MEGATRON, THEN STARSCREAM, THEN JAZZ??? Stop killing all my favourite characters. * SULKS * Bumblebee and Spike are seen radioing the remaining Autobots on Moon Base Two as they both try to escape. Spike then utters the cult classic line of ‘Oh shit what are we gunna do now’, yes he swore, the Ned Flanders of the transformers cartoon swore, now you know you’re in trouble. Finally it ends with Bumblebee and Spike being sucked into Unicron. Ok I get the killing of the transformers, but Spike really? This is a kids film people!

BYE BYE Starscream

Galvatron swiftly then takes his troops and departs for Earth, we pan back to Magnus and co who make the decision to stop Unicron as it is more dangerous then all the Decepticons combined. Springer chips in saying how are they gunna stop it before Hot Rod says the matrix can do it and when questioned why, he responds with he just has a feeling. Hmm I don’t trust your judgment so far Hot Rod why should I trust you with this? Wait it’s Galvatron already, how quickly are their ships, maybe if Optimus ship was that quick, he’d still be alive. The Autobots attempt to retreat but are slowed down by the Dinobots. There’s a funny clip where Galvatron gets spaceship rage and shakes his fist at Grimlock before the Autobots depart. The annoying thing is how they turned Grimlock from a badass T-Rex to a metallic version of Barney the dinosaur.

Kup then recalls various war stories to the Dinobots as the pace slows down. Wait a minute it’s Galvatron again, does this guy never give up? Before Kup’s ship is shot down and forced to crash on a nearby planet. Magnus shows little concern as he is still being trailed by the Decepticons but he as an idea. Separate the ship so from the back it looks like the Autobots have been terminated, whilst they get away. Galvatron is happy before he is ultimately summoned back to Unicron. Don’t you think you should have checked the wreckage first Galvatron? Rookie mistake.

Magnus and co then depart for the nearby ‘Planet of Junk’. We then pan to a planet with metallic looking fish, fish really what’s the point of metallic fish and metallic seaweed where Hot Rod is found tangled in this weed. He then pulls out his go go gadget hand saw before dispatching the fish and weeds. Now why didn’t he do that straight away before crying like a baby. Pfft Hot Rod. We then hear Kup cry out in pain as he is being attacked by a giant robotic squid, yes a squid. What planet have they landed on, Sea World?? Hot Rod defeats the squid before we see Kup’s tangled remains. I found it kinda sad how a war veteran such as Kup was defeated by a robotic squid, couldn’t they have sent him out a better way? Hot Rod being the hero he is picks up Kup’s remains and retreats out the water.

Perhaps The Only Squid Grumpier Than Squidward

We then see the other Autobots crash land on the ‘Planet Of Junk’. Wait a minute how can Daniel a human breath on another planet that doesn’t have oxygen without his head exploding like mentos put into coca cola. They happen to have one of Spike’s exo-suits lying around so the Scrappy Doo of Transformers is now a Transformer. Great :/ As they depart the ship they are greeted by an army of robots who speak solely in the language of TV. Now this is my main pet peeve of the modern day movies, Bumblebee should be Bumblebee and speak properly and be a plucky underdog not a rip off of the awesome Junkions (sorry spoiler alert) with the name there.

Wreck Gar Speaks Better TV than Bumblebee From The Michael Bay Era

We then go back to Hot Rod who is repairing Kup. Once Kup is operational again a friendship is formed and they set off before being stopped by a weird army of robots. Kup steps in with his knowledge of other planets and uses the universal greeting of Bah-Weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong. Now this is handy to know especially if you’re stranded on the metallic planet version of Sea World. Alas this race is not familiar with the saying and subsequently capture them. Whilst in their holding pen, they run into one of the scientists from the first planet who informs them about Galvatron. Two ships both crashing into the same planet now what are the odds? Do those guys have giant magnets or something? We then see the robot taken off for his trail and despite being declared innocent he ends up getting fed to the Sharkticons. Hmm I think the jury might not be fair, what do you think?

INNOCENT

It then goes back to the Dinobots who are looking for Hot Rod and Kup before long Grimlock and Slag have an argument and compare each other to metallic sausages. Priceless!! Then the anonymous Autobot who has been stalking Hot Rod and Kup introduces himself to the Dinobots. Great as if a human version of Scrappy Doo wasn’t enough we then get an Autobot one too in Wheelie, he has a slingshot too, who is he Bart Simpson?

I HATE Wheelie

Galvatron meets up with Unicron who informs him that Galvatron has failed in his quest to destroy Ultra Magnus. We then go back to the ‘Planet Of Junk’ and just as the Junkions are about to attack the Autobots the Decepticons come into tow and attack the Autobots. Galvatron and his army descends on Ultra Magnus, as Magnus attempts to open the Matrix he is blown to smithereens by Galvatron and the matrix is captured. Magnus, Optimus told you the Matrix would light OUR darkest hour, not yours, you fool. No wonder you got blown up.

Bye Bye Magnus

We then go back to the planet where Hot Rod and Kup are on trial and are sentenced to death by the Sharkticons. Hot Rod and Kup versus a million Sharkticons who’s your money on? If the plucky heavy metal soundtrack is anything to go by my moneys on Hot Rod and Kup. They created a vortex in their car forms and quickly escape. Now why hasn’t any other robot done that before? The Sharkticons follow them out of the pit and surround them before Hot Rod ushers the line ‘We can’t hold out forever but we can give them one humungous repair bill’. As it looks like the two Autobots are about to be defeated, the Dinobots save the day. As the Quintessons try to get the Dinobots executed Grimlock suggest why not execute them. The Sharkticons agree and overthrow their rulers.

This Film Needed The Humour Of The Dinobots

We go back to Junkion as the dejected Autobots are attacked by the Junkions, a battle between the two takes place, before the ship that Hot Rod and co have stolen from the other plant lands on Junkion. How did Hot Rod, Kup and co know that Springer and the other Autobots would be on that planet. Of all the planets in all the world. Luckily for them all Hot Rod remembers the universal greeting of Bah-Weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong and new friendships are formed before they all dance around in a circle. Yes a circle. I never realised how much Wreck Gar leader of the Junkions cannon nipples looked like a bad Madonna bra. Wreck Gar then orders his army to repair Magnus and are recruit to help stop Unicron.

Bah-Weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong

Galvatron is then shown standing on Unicron taunting him. Just as Galvatron pisses off Megatron (trust me you really do NOT want to do that). Unicron transforms into his robotic form and sets course to destroy Cybertron. Unicron looks a lot like a robotic version of Satan which is perhaps another one of the reasons why he scared me as a child. Unicron is shown tearing the Deceptions and Cybertron to shreds before eating Galvatron. Mmmm Galvatron * drools*

Mmm Galvatron *drools*

The now combined force of the Autobots and Junkions descend on Unicron but in the battle the Autobot ship crash through Unicrons eye OUCH and into his body. Hot Rod is separated from the rest falls into the same part of Unicron as Galvatron. Of all the odds. Just as it looks like Galvatron and Hot Rod are about to join forces, Unicron commands Galvatron to take him out ‘permanently’ and Hot Rod subsequently retreats. Meanwhile outside Unicron the Dinobots descend on Unicrons bottom as Grimlock informs us that he is about to kick butt and he does so literally.

Me Grimlock Me Kick Butt

Back in Unicron the remaining Autobots are chased by Unicrons internal robotic antibodies and Daniel is separated before coming to a vat of acid where robots are being dropped in. At the front of the que about to be dropped in is Spike and co, wait Spike is alive? Spike is about to be dropped into a vat of acid in front of his son? Now this film has had some sick moments for a childs film so far but that would take the biscuit. Spike informs Daniel to save the day by shooting down the cover to the vat of acid. Daniel fires up his suit and shoots the cover. Has his dad been fried to a crisp in a vat of acid? Will Bumblebee be next? No he’s saved the day!

Will Daniel Save The Day?

We are then taken back to the battle between Hot Rod and Galvatron. Just as it looks like Hot Rod is about to be stangled we pan back to Unicron crushing the Junkions then back to Hot Rod and Galvatron. Just as Hot Rod is about to die, he grabs the matrix that Galvatron is wearing around his neck like a badass Mr T Chain and opens it, WHAT??? As he grabs it Optimus Prime utters the word ‘Arise Rodimus Prime’ and the best feel good song for any movie kicks in as Galvatron is thrown out through Unicrons leg. Now that’s what I calla gorilla press slam or power slam wrestling fans. Hot Rod opens the matrix. Hot Rod opens the matrix. HOT ROD OPENS THE MATRIX!!! Or should I say Rodimus Prime 😉 With the matrix open Unicron is shown exploding internally, things look bleak for the remaining Autobots as Rodimus Prime tells them to roll out and they do so through Unicrons other eye OUCH AGAIN.

Arise Rodimus Prime

We are then taken to a shot of Unicrons head exploding off his body, ok we get it, he’s dead now. As the Autobots stand victorious.

———————————————————————————————————————————–

There we go that was Transformers The Movie as it should be done, not the Michael Bay monstrosity that todays kids are treated too. I say make any kid who loves Transformers watch this film and he’ll be converted to a G1 fan like me. Heck make any kid between the age of 6 and 10 watch it and they’ll be a G1 fan.

If you’re after a film that has everything from giant killer robots getting blown up to witty one liners and metallic dinosaurs arguing over sausages Transformers The Movie is a must for anyone.

My Thoughts And What We Know On The Upcoming ‘Batman V Superman’ Film

The logo for the upcoming ‘Batman V Superman’ film

Ok there’s been a lot of talk and I mean A LOT of talk about the upcoming Batman v Superman film and I thought I’d chip in with my thoughts on what we know so far. First of all how do I feel about it? I’m not sure, I was curious at first when the idea came about but then they kept on adding more characters and more and more. It’s less ‘Batman v Superman’ and more a cheap attempt, or not so cheap when you look at the cast assembled attempt at a Justice League film, both Superman and Batman are well established characters, why add people such as Robin, Aquaman and Wonder Woman to the mix?

Is it because they are worried that a stand alone film featuring just Batman and Superman story wise wouldn’t be up to the mark? Also is it their attempt to try and steal some of the hype away from the new Avengers film? Are the studios already worried that a potentially wooden Batman in #Batfleck and Henry Cavill may not be up to the task? If I was Affleck and Cavill who I’ll call Affvil for time saving alone in this article, I’d be equally excited and dismayed. Why excited and dismayed I hear you cry?

Well the answer is simple, I’d be excited that DC are attempting to take on Marvel in the movie stakes and in a big way with a BANG! Up until now DC have excelled where Marvel have kinda become stagnant and that’s in the TV market, so far DC have already well established shows such as ‘The Arrow’ and ‘The Flash’ whereas Marvel have ’Agents of Shield’. Now don’t get me wrong I’m actually team Marvel but my ex was always team DC and when I asked her why, she’d respond by saying that DC was more gritty and realistic and for this reason they held up as better long standing TV show. To a certain extent I did kinda understand her logic I mean Marvel was better for the action but DC was better for the character development, that’s why Marvel shows and DC films never seemed to really work. In the same breath tho if I was Affvil I’d be dismayed that the studios aren’t 100% committed to them as the main characters and have had to bring in such a strong supporting cast.

Where else could I start other than with Batfleck? Who’s Batfleck well it’s the new actor playing Batman and that’s none other than Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck? Isn’t he the guy that sucked as Daredevil? Yes that’s him ladies and gentleman. Anyone who knows me, knows that my fave Batman is and will ALWAYS be the one and only Adam West. Yeah I grew up watching the reruns on TV but who didn’t? Now don’t get me wrong I don’t mind Batfleck as a person but I just don’t think he’s capable of pulling off such a strong character as Batman. I picture him being a mix between the George Clooney Batman and Val Kilmer Batman. I for one think that such was the studio worrying that peoples initial outcry to the casting of Batlfeck they had no choice but to make it a versus film and introduce a mryiad of other characters, rather than have him do a standalone film. Now I know then Batfleck will do ok,  but how about someone such as Ryan Gosling, Michael C Hall or Jake Gyllenhall trying their hand and cape as Batman?

Ladies and gentleman I give you, the one, the only BATFLECK!!!

As for Henry Cavill I’m not gunna comment on him as he’s already proved himself to me as an awesome Superman, granted I actually preferred Brandon Routh (yes I’m serious) but hopefully people who are reading this article will have also watched ‘Man Of Steel’ so they’ll agree with me on this one.

Who is the supporting cast you may ask? Try Gal Gadot, Amy Adams, Laurence Fishburne, Jesse Eisenberg, Jeremy Irons and OH YEAH Jason Momoa. To be honest that sounds less like a supporting cast and more like a who’s who of the acting world.

Let’s go a little into the supporting cast and what characters they’ll be playing. First up is Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman. When I first heard of this choice I was interested for a couple of reasons. The first is to be honest she doesn’t really have a strong pedigree acting wise her arguably most notable role to date is as Giselse in the ‘Fast & Furious‘ franchise. Other names considered for the role, ranged from Kate Beckinsale (Underworld), Jamie Alexander (Thor), Gemma Arterton (Hansel and Gretel) to Lucy Griffiths (True Blood) and Bridget Regan (Legend Of The Seeker). Personally out of the names considered but not chosen I would have gone with either Jemma Alexander or Bridget Regan, so when Gal was announced I was immediately intrigued. I remained neutral on her casting choice until the publicity photo’s were released. When I first laid eyes on Gal as Wonder Woman she reminded me of someone it was Xena!! Gal looked quite intimidating stood in her leather and metal outfit superimposed onto a volcanic background and I was sold. When  heard Wonder Woman was going to be in the new film, my problem was my mind was flashing back to the 1970’s TV show. However upon seeing these pics, I remembered what my ex said in that DC do gritty better than Marvel and this looks like this is what it is intended to be a gritty realistic Wonder Woman as an amazon warrior princess who is here to kick some serious ass.

I wouldn’t want to run into her in a dark alleyway

Now on to Amy Adams, as Lois Lane. Everyone who knows me personally knows I’m a sucker for a redhead, 99% of the women that I may have a crush on are redheads and I’ll happily admit that. SO ladies if you wonna win em over, get that hair dye out 😛 Anywho I digress, I personally think that Amy Adams as Lois Lane is an inspired choice. Amy is well known for playing characters with the pardon the 1950’s expression but moxy. That spunky, firey woman who won’t take no for an answer. When you consider that’s he plays those roles and plays those roles well, it seems like she’s a perfect fit. Plus she’s a redhead so I’m gunna be biased anyway. Anyone who’s seen ‘Man of Steel’ know’s she’s already a perfect fit.

Laurence Fishburne as Perry White, is an interesting one. I remember the outcry various websites were saying that this is inexcusable, how could they have an African-American playing Perry, what next a British Superman? Oh wait a minute …. Lol the internet makes me laugh sometimes. I for one can see this happening. Anyone who’s seen Laurence’s work in CSI and his previous work in ‘Man Of Steel’ knows that he’ll be able to play this role well and I can’t wait.

Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor? Really? REALLY??? Was my initial outcry. That’s like having the other guy who was in the ‘Social Network’ with him play Spiderman. Oh B**** ! When I first found out about this I wasn’t happy especially when you consider that Lex is meant to be Supe’s arch nemesis and roughly the same age. Henry Cavill is 31 and Jesse is 31, what their the same age? Yeah that surprised me too, I thought Henry was a lot older and I mean A LOT. I find it depressing that Henry Cavill is only two years older than me too, perhaps if I applied myself harder in drama I could have been Superman, oh well there’s always Captain Britain I suppose. The more I considered the casting of Jesse as Lex the more I was actually pleasantly surprised. Anyone who’s seen his work as Mark Zuckerbeg in the ‘Social Network’ knows that he played this role to a ‘t’ and I hate to say it I see elements of this being transferred over to Lex. Mark Zuckerberg as evil overload Lex Luthor? Hmm it’s not a million miles away from the truth I suppose, but hey that’s me and my anti Facebook stance, sorry if you love Facebook but you should know by know that I’m team Twitter. So yeah I wasn’t onboard with Jesse as Lex at first but the more I hear the more I’m impressed with this inspired casting choice and I reckon he’ll banish the rest of the doubters away with a stellar performance.

Jesse looks like a mean Lex what do you think?

Jeremy Irons as Alfred? Now don’t get me wrong I love Jeremy Irons, he is a Brit like me, but this is where DC annoys the hell out of me. They already have an established Alfred in Gotham currently as Sean Pertwee, why couldn’t they have used him? Now I know that Gotham is set in a different timeline with a young Bruce Wayne but it still doesn’t mean you couldn’t have Sean or why not even Michael Caine? It’s like the talking about having Arrow in this film and not using Stephen Amell, it’s wrong just wrong! Now I know that Jeremy Irons will be great in this role and banish any lingering thoughts I’ll have but all I’ll say is if you were going to go with someone else why not Alfred Molina? I’d love to see Alfred Molina as Alfred, go ahead and try to tell me that wouldn’t be a great fit? You can’t can you, because you know I’m right 😛

Now we’re saving the best till last, Jason Momoa as Aquaman. I like Jason Momoa, I liked him way back when he was playing dreadlocked Ronon Dex in Stargate Atlantis. I’ve even seen him in person where I was 3 feet away from him and let me tell you this people he was HUGE! He’s literally the biggest, most jacked up famous person I have met and I would not wonna annoy him. I first heard rumours of Jason being cast months ago and discussed it with my good work friend Nick he‘ll vouch for me on this one. I like Jason but I was curious to see how he would portray Aquaman. As time went on I heard differing rumours that he would be playing a surfer hippy Hawaiian to a badass sea god/king . I had completely forgot about this until I saw the promotion pictures released and then it hit me in the same way that Gal’s picture did. He was going to be a gritty realistic badass. Yes he may be a part character however I don’t remember any of the Affvill promo pictures trending in a positive manner as much as his did. So I’m gunna be bold and say that he’ll get a bigger role than that was first envisioned and will steal the film. I know he’s getting a spin off but you heard if here first that Jason WILL be the star of Batman v Superman by far.

aquaman

Now we’ve covered the cast it’s time to move onto the plot. To be honest not much has been confirmed other than it’s the sequel to ‘Man Of Steel’. Christopher Nolan (The Dark Night Trilogy) has been drafted in as an advisory role as executive producer and this excites me. I like Chris’s work and he along with Christian Bale was responsible for the reboot of the Batman franchise, so it seems only fair he gets a chance to be involved in the next step of Batman’s character arc and evolution. I know there is already a Batman v Superman comic book but screenwriter David Goyer has confirmed that it will not follow this storyline, instead it’ll be more of a crossover or injection of Batman into Superman’s universe. Chris Terrio has also been brought into the fold. Chris worked with Batfleck on Argo so if anyone can help bring the best of him in this role it’ll be Chris. As for the title ‘ Batman V Superman’ and why not ‘Batman Vs Superman’? Quite simply it’s been confirmed by Kirk Synder, the films executive producer that by having ‘v’ instead of ‘vs.’ was to keep it away from being a straight versus movie, in a way encompassing the other characters and bigger plot at hand. Other than that very little is actually known about the film, it seems to be keeping it under wraps almost as much as the Marvel Fantastic Four reboot was, so it’s actually hard for me to comment on this. But based on the promotional pictures I’ve seen I envision the film to be a hard hitting, gritty, realistic superhero and villan mash up that’ll be as good as ‘The Avengers’ but geared more towards an older, edgier market.

As for what’s next after ‘Batman v Superman’ various things have been announced such as a solo Aquaman film, a Justice League film and many more. I think that the studios have big things line dup cinematic wise for the DC universe and although I’m team Marvel I for one can’t wait because after all I’m a comic book lover first and team marvel second.

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