Pokemon GO’s Growing Pains Are Starting To Hurt Players

No software launch is perfect. It doesn’t matter if it’s a video game for a console or an app for mobile devices; it’s a guarantee that there will be hiccups along the way. Edges to be smoothed, bugs to be squashed, when a piece of software launches updates are inevitable. Pokemon GO isn’t the exception and since its release on July 5^th Pokemon Go has had a few of the usual minor updates and a couple big updates.

The first big update was on July 12^th, after concerns over the kinds of permissions the app was requesting from the Google account being used to sign into the game Niantic issued an overhaul to those requests along with some crash issue fixes. That was a welcome update for everyone that didn’t want Niantic reading their emails. But they still had some actual gameplay fixes to make to make the game polished. And then on July 30th Niantic issued its next big update that brought about several feature changes.

One of the feature changes was the removal of the in game tracking system. The tracking system used to implement a paw print system that would show how close a Pokemon was to your general location. 3 paws indicated it was farther away with 2 to 1 paws indicating you were closer. It never gave you a general direction of where to walk to get closer to the nearby Pokemon but you could play a mini game of hot and cold watching the paws increase or decrease depending on where you were walking. This stopped working for several users after awhile. It showed 3 paws for every Pokemon no matter how close the Pokemon was. Instead of fixing this system Niantic decided to remove the feature altogether.

Now the Pokemon move up and down the nearby list without signifying if you were close or too far away.

Niantic also started cracking down on 3rd party tracking applications. Pokevision was a popular site to check where Pokemon are popping up but now its currently unavailable. Several other tracking sites have been down as well with no news on when or if they will ever be back.

With these feature changes and removals players are getting a different user experience and some have even requested refunds for their in game purchases because they don’t have the same game play from when the game launched. Other users have reported that their game has completely reset their levels erasing weeks of work collecting Pokemon and medals. Every game needs refinements after launch but the spotlight is shinning bright on Niantic since millions adopted the game in such a short time and its been in the news every day with stories that range from outlandish to heartwarming. The changes are also crucial to keeping those millions of users on the game. It’s one thing to capture lightning in the bottle it’s another to keep it in the bottle. The future updates are going to be crucial for the games longevity.

Always Sometimes Monsters: Freeloader Edition & A Sequel Coming!

Always Sometimes Monsters (released 2014) is now free to play on an internet browser. The reason behind this decision is as follows:“The process has instilled a belief that art must be freely accessible, and that a grateful audience does pay tribute in time. Many of the freeloaders eventually bought copies of the game, for themselves or friends. Mostly, we hope some people who’ve never even heard of the game will get a chance to try it.” Justin Amirkhani, Creative Director of Vagabond Dog.  This is a clever way to work around pirating games. So go and enjoy this guilt free free to play game and buy it if you really like it, not only to support the people at Vagabong Dog, but to prepare yourself for the next game, Sometimes Always Monsters, to which you can import your save if you own the game. Here’s a teaser video of the upcoming sequel.

 

Play with passion!

auburn.geek

Do You Smell What the Poke-Rock is Cooking??

If you want a good laugh, you need to check out Dwayne The Rock Johnson’s Pokemon GO parody on YouTube. This, my friends, definitely tickles the laugh button.

As we are all well aware, Pokemon GO has swept the nation, and of course hit Hollywood. There are many stars who play the super addictive game and it’s no surprise that The Rock is yet another unsuspecting victim. The best part though, he now has put himself in the Pokemon world in this silly video below. The parody starts with MatPat and Ali-A talking about a rare hard to capture, Pokemon…. Which turns out to be the rock himself (well animated to look like him) and he talks mad trash to the Poketrainers!! OMG I was dying. The poor dude tries several Pokeballs including a Great Ball, with no luck on capturing the trash-talking peoples’ champ.

Oh and the song! The song they play is super wonderful. It is the theme song with a little twist. (“the peoples champs, when I see him my pants get damp”) And the end, the end is the rock, he sums the whole video up.   Just watch below, you will see what I mean. Its super fun, silly, and crude. Which are three things I personally love in a parody  ^_^

Enjoy!!

Pokemon Go’ Footsteps Gone!

If you’ve never played Pokemon Go, first of all, WHAT?! Secondly, you might not know about the “footstep” tracking method used to know more or less which direction to head in while tracking the elusive creatures. For those of us that fired up the Pokemon Go app this weekend are probably going to notice a major change: There are no longer any footsteps displayed next to Pokemon!

This comes as a result of the most recent update to the popular game, which removed both the footsteps icon and battery saver mode. The footsteps were removed due to a glitch that was causing every Pokemon to appear to be three footprints away (which might as well put them on Mars) regardless of where it actually was. Niantic Labs has reportedly  not yet been able to fix it. So for now, they have decided to get rid of the feature entirely until they can work out a solution.

Although it’s only been 2 days since the update, the disappearance of the footprints feature has left Pokemon Go players everywhere frustrated, especially as they (including this guy) were hoping the next update would provide a solution to the footstep problem. This is an extremely important part of the game, and users are feeling that Niantic has no way of fixing the game’s major issues. They are also frustrated that the studio shows a lack of communication with its audience, and players have no clue when any of the major glitches will likely be fixed.

To add insult to injury, Niantic Labs is beginning to have tracking sites like PokeVision removed from the Internet. These websites allowed users to see how close certain Pokemon were to them, and so players were making use of the websites because the game’s internal tracker wasn’t working. Not only has Niantic not been able to fix one of the game’s fundamental features, then, but they are actively removing all potential workarounds as well. COME ON!!

What do you think about all these goings on with Pokemon Go and The Niantic response? Sound off in the comments and let me know!!

SEGA Plug And Play Console And Hand Held System With Games!!!

Who else enjoyed the sounds our TV would make when a certain speeding hedgehog would gather up those golden rings when swiftly racing though the course and dodging the creatures and spikes along the way? What about the thrill we would have timing each jump just right while in super shoes mode? Or how about the way Scorpion’s voice would sound when screaming “get over here” as he plunges his spike into the opponent across the screen… ah the good old days with that wonderful colorful game system that began some of the favorite arcade characters we love today. Yes, I am talking about the SEGA Genesis.

And now they are bringing it back as a Plug-and-Play, including 40 / 80 (this number varies depending on the site you research) of the classic games and SD card support. How awesome is that!?! Let alone, only $60 dollars?? I don’t see this lasting long on the shelf this holiday season. This console system will include classics such as Sonic, the first three of Mortal Kombat, Kid Chameleon, plus some SEGA arcade puzzle games such as Fight or Lose. The system will have both an SD slot and a cartridge slot, plus two controllers, and the hand held system will include a USB charging cable and SD slot, and a means for us to sit for hours engulfed in the sensations of life when we were younger and carefree…. OK maybe not all of us will feel this way, but for those who grew up with Nintendo and SEGA, you get the picture.

So this system is said to come with 40 / 80 embedded games. This is cool and saves some time for those of us who try to figure out a way to hack the systems and download games on to them ourselves (just kidding…. Or am I? lol ) But this will save some time with the downloads you may or may not have on your computer (NES ROM or SEGA ROM) and at least have this on the classic looking system instead. (I have both these roms on my Xbox so I play them often, including superNES rom) ^_^

Pokémoan – Gotta Get ‘Em All! (And Some Fanfic To Get You Started)

Are you a true, hardcore Pokémon fan? Did you always want to take your relationship with Pokémon to the next level, but not know how? Well, now there’s Pokémoan, sex toys for every fanwoman and man! And, as with every Pokémon trainer, you know that you Gotta Get ‘Em All! (Pokémoan – “Gotta Fuck ‘Em All” is a better tagline – come at me for rights.)

Let’s meet your new best friend via Pokémoan’s Pokésex Data:

‘Bulby’ – A grass type Pokémoan. Bulby has a large seed tip making it a very pleasurable friend to have. It’s seed is 5cm wide and 4cm tall and its body is 16cm tall and 3.5cm wide.

Picture the scene – you’re in the middle of the Viridian Forest*, surrounded by the gentle whisper of the wind and rustling of tree leaves as they glint in the light. A twig breaks nearby, and out steps a Bulbasaur, the massive seed on its back throbbing with an insatiable need.

That’s how I’d assume the fantasy would start for those who choose ‘Bulby’ as their starter Pokémoan. Would bet a solid amount of money it devolves into a BDSM scene, considering how Bulbasaur could use Vine Whip. Unfortunately, this kind of genius thinking doesn’t make it into the toy – it’s a solid, traditional, and not too versatile choice for those less adventurous types. Also, that section of the ‘bulb and where it connects into the shaft looks a little uncomfortable no matter where you put it.

*I know you can’t catch a Bulbasaur in the Viridian Forest. It’s a FANTASY.

‘Charmy’ – A slightly thinner, fire type Pokémoan with a flaming tail. Standing 18cm tall and 4cm wide at its widest point Charmy gives intense orgasms everywhere it goes.

You ready for this? Houses in a small mountain village where you have gone for a retreat have spontaneously caught fire. You are running for your life, and are stranded on a grassy hill, flames imminently approaching. You can’t use your Squirtle because you were letting him have a nice rest after putting him through a shit ton of battles recently, and you’re really sorry you put Squirtle up against an Electrobuzz in the last one. Squirtle is probably enjoying a nice spa bath at the moment.

Anyways, you’re up dying on a hill, and this is how your life will probably end – when all of a sudden a wild Charmander breaks out of the wall of flame with a crazy look in his eye. He’s heard your screams and promises to your God in exchange for not letting you die, and one of those phrases was, “I’d even fuck a Charmander!” Charmander lets out a roar and up goes a wall of flame that the other fire can’t penetrate.

But you know who can penetrate you now? Charmander.

As a sex toy, logically it doesn’t make sense – the tip of a Charmander’s tail is literally made out of fire. And I’m not sure how people feel about putting something pointy inside their body. Who knows though? Charmy looks fun and a little dangerous, which is pretty much how I’d sum up that Pokémon.

‘Squirty’ – A water Pokémoan. Squirty has a smooth round head with a large grooved turtle shell on its back. Its bubbly head measures 4cm wide whilst his body measures 6cm wide and 14cm tall.

Remember when I said your Squirtle was relaxing in a nice spa bath? Well, you are now too, especially after your foray with the fire of death. Your eyes are closed, and your head tilted back as you splay out against the bath, when you suddenly feel a gentle lapping between your thighs and a wetness that has nothing to do with the water…
Out of all the Pokémoan toys, Squirty is the most well-integrated one. You can’t actually fuck Bulbasaur’s bulb or Charmander’s tail, but you could play around with Squirtle’s head. Hehe. It doesn’t seem like Squirtle vibrates (maybe the Wartortle will) but still looks like this Pokémoan trainer could do pretty well by this Pokémoan.

‘Piky’ – This small electric type anal Pokémoan is a perfect size for the average Pokémoan trainer. Piky is an extremely cute yet essential addition to your team. Its insertable size is 2.5cm wide by 4cm tall and his tail is 8cm long.

I’m not going to write a Pikachu fantasy. I do hold some things sacred, like my favorite childhood Pokémon.

But you can stick this in your butt and pretend to be a Pikachu! $5 and a Piky that this toy proves to be the most popular of all in establishments where people go around naked and pretend to be Pokémon and engage in fantasies. Is that a thing yet? Pretty sure it exists somewhere. Because the internet.

What are you waiting for?! Go and get ‘em all! Every Pokémoan trainer is different and you’ll want to be prepared for all sorts of various situations like forests and fires and pools. So – do you have what it takes to be a Pokémoan Master?

Buy the toys here:

https://www.etsy.com/au/listing/467418501/pokemoan-dildo-range-gotta-get-em-all

What do you think of the Pokémoan sex toys? Let us know in the comments below!

Pokemon GO… In The Graveyards….. Um…..

According to reddit.com, there are posts there of people who caught ghost Pokemon in the graveyard, Ghastly to be exact. There was also another post there where someone claims you can catch them in hospitals as well, oh and the graves are Pokestops? I kind of wondered about this, and I live near a cemetery here in Oregon, so I had to go check this out and do the research myself.

The elusive trio – Haunter, Gengar and Gastly

We arrived at the cemetery not from my home in hopes to catch one ghost Pokemon who reside in cemetery settings, and after wandering around for a bit, (and one incense dropped) found nothing more than a few Spearows, Pidgeys and a couple of other Pokemon I already had… but no ghosts. I did get to use the Pokestop a couple of times, but this one was attached to the land mark that was the cemetery sign, not the grave plots themselves as some people has speculated. So this was slightly disappointing.

After getting back in the car, my girlfriend, Charlotte (love you girl) had mentioned something about this anomaly taking place at night. Duh, that makes sense now, ghosts don’t come out during the day time anyway, right? So we left the grave yard and decided to return another time. (Ok this next part took some courage, because really, who wants to wander a graveyard at night????)

Nope nope nope nope nope

So a little over a week later, I once again found myself chilling in a graveyard, staring at my phone…. I have to say, that sounds a little weird lol. But I went, at what is considered night even though its summer time right now and the day does not get dark until like 11 pm (I have a hard time staying up that late anymore, being old and all … )

Now I didn’t visit the same one as before; in fact I went to a different one just a little further up the road and bigger. I was hoping that maybe with it being twice the size of the previous one, that maybe it will give more grounds for something to happen. Well there was a difference than the first right off the bat, there were Pokestops on the grave stones! Just like I had read before on the reddit site. But they were attached to actual grave plots, more like memorial spots. One of the spots belonged to a stone in memorial to 9/11, and another called the “veterans memorial of Springfield Oregon,” but neither of these were inhabited by an actual body. Still cool nonetheless.

  

 

I decided to drop another incense, (yes, I used up two in graveyards) and wandered around, looking at the lovely stones, flowers, the trees… yes it was just breathtaking there. And fervidly scan the phone whenever I felt it buzz in my hands while I walked, to see if this may be a Haunter or Gastly Pokemon…. Which it wasn’t. But I did manage to attract some Pokemon I did not have yet such as Jigglypuff, Clefable (this one put of a hell of a fight, like 6 balls in total to get this asshat) and Tangela. But sadly, no ghost Pokemon.  But oddly enough, there were Zubats, a lot of Zubats, that found me in there. I’m not sure if its just a coincidence that it was a graveyard and a ton of Zubats or not but I found that neat.

  

After a bit and feeling frustrated that still not ghost, I decided to try the smaller graveyard I had wandered around the other day, just to give it one more shot…. But still no luck. (I did however catch a Poliwag!) Now can I say that this is a myth and there are no ghost Pokemon in the graveyard, being that I wandered around for some time and wasted incense, trying to catch these buggers… On the other hand, I may not have gone late enough, but being that I wake up at 3:30 am every day, staying up till midnight is quite difficult for me. Regardless, it was fun just the same trying to see if this was fact or false. One this is for sure, there are Pokestops on grave stones, just maybe not body filled ones. As for the ghost… well….. this has yet to be determined. ^_^

Original Pokémon Theme Singer Still Nails it

It is safe to say Pokémon GO has brought back 20 years of nostalgia, with it breaking records for being the fastest/most downloaded app ever. Increasing the share price for Nintendo (before it was realised that Nintendo weren’t actually the developers), and causing the price for the original Pokémon Blue and Red games to increase massively on eBay.

With all this success, Jason Paige – the singer of the original Pokémon cartoon from the 90’s, has taken to the recording studio, to show that he can still hit all the high notes.

It’s been 2 decades since he recorded the intro and as you can see in the video below, he still has all of the enthusiasm and the voice he had all those years ago.

Pokémon is now in it’s 19th season, making it one of the longest running animated series on TV and the franchise’s 19th feature film, Volcanion and the Mechanical Magerna, which was released a few weeks ago in Japan.

SNIKT!

Niantic Confirms Eevee Hack

 

 

In Pokemon Go just like in the original handheld games and animated movies and tv shows, evolving your pokemon is key to increasing your pokemon trainer level and also acquiring powerful pokemon to do battle in gyms. Now most Pokemon follow a direct line of evolution. Pikachu -> Raichu. Charmander -> Charmaeleon -> Charizard. But there is one Pokemon that breaks this rule. A cute fox looking Pokemon called Eevee.

According to Pokemon lore an Eevee can evolve into different variations depending on what kind of crystal its exposed to during its evolution.

The 3 main variations are an electric type called Jolteon, a fire type called Flareon and a water type called Vaporeon.

In Pokemon Go when you evolve your Eevee its up to chance which of the 3 types you could get although I’ve heard that the most common evolution is the fire type Flareon. Then on a Reddit thread a trick was posted to control the evolution of your Eevee to get a specific one of your choosing. Niantic during its SDCC panel last weekend confirmed this trick to be valid and said they were planning on implementing more tricks based on Pokemon history. If you are at the point where you can evolve your Eevee and you have your eye on getting a Jolteon but don’t want to leave it to chance here is how to pull it off.

Pick the Eevee you want to evolve; usually you want to evolve your Pokemon with the highest CP. When you select the Eevee you’re going to evolve change its name before you evolve it. For a Vaporeon rename it Rainer. For a Jolteon rename it Sparky. For a Flareon rename it Pyro. Once you have renamed your Eevee to the evolution you want its suggested you close the app and open it up again to make sure the name has been saved, the way this game glitches and crashes you don’t want to leave anything to chance. When you reopen the app go back to your renamed Eevee and select evolve and watch as it turns into the variation of your choice. I have tried this trick twice and now am the proud owner of a Vaporeon and a Jolteon. It is suggested to space your evolutions. If you have enough to evolve several Eevee’s which if you do I am jealous of you, then evolve one and wait a couple days to evolve the next.

The source of this trick is found in one of the episodes from the original animated series Ash and his crew runs into 4 brothers that specialize in Eevee’s. 3 of the brothers had one variation of Eevee each. Rainer had a Vaporeon, Sparky had a Jolteon and Pyro had a Flareon.

A pretty cool easter egg and an impressive find from the first players to try this trick. I wonder what other easter eggs and hacks Pokemon GO players will find.

Yakuza 0 (Zero) Release Date Revealed!

The newest part of the Yakuza game series has got a release date for USA and Europe now, it is going to be released on January 24, 2017. The game will be available for PS4 and you can buy either a digital or a a physical copy. In Japan the game is also available for PS3 but there’s no such luck for us western gamers.

The game will take place in the year 1988, before the events of the first game, so it’s a kind of an origin story. The characters you get to play as are the main character of the first games, Kazuma Kiryu and his weird friend  Goro Majima,”the Mad Dog of the Shimano Family”. “What lies in a man’s past defines his future, and in this case, we learn a lot about what inspires Kiryu down the paths he takes in the rest of the Yakuza series,” Sega reported in a press release. “Plus, you don’t get to be called ‘Dragon’ without being able to knock a few heads. Combat styles can be hot-swapped during fights for some of the most intense battles in the Yakuza series to date.” They also told that “there are a million ways to spend, make, or take money. From cash spilling out of the pockets of gang members you fight to Telephone Clubs, Disco Halls, or even Pocket Circuit car races, there are tons of ways to be a well-to-do gangster.” Seems like this game is going to be a great addition to the original games!

Play with passion!

auburn.geek