They say everyone has at least one great book in them, one amazing award winning story waiting to get out, trying to jump out of your mind and onto paper. I’ve been on twitter a while and one thing that I was always intrueged by was something called #writinghour . It’s where people write for an hour and share the results online. I for one know I’m not a great writer, however as a former literary agent and publicist for my ex wife and due to the fact I know some pretty cool writer people I decided to give it ago. Just load up my keyboard and type away to my hearts content no matter how random it may be and here was my result!!
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They say some people are born great whilst others have greatness thrust upon them, I was neither. You see growing up I didn’t really have many friends, I guess you could say comic books and action figures were my friends. I didn’t really have a talent either, unless you count being fodder for the local bullies. I was well just plain and normal. Normal height, normal intelligence, normal looks. If I was a flavour of crips I guess you could say I was ready salted. Good old dependable ready salted, it may not be the most glamourous of the crips but you always find it in the multipack bags just sitting there, hoping to be eaten, unlike the controversial cheese and onion or salt and vinegar. If I was a biscuit I guess I’d be a digestive, anywho I digress. I tend to do that alot, let my mind wander and I guess that’s how I ended up in the situation I am now.
What situation is that I hear you ask? Well lets just say it involves aliens, a dragon, a princess and robots, no I wasn’t transported to a fantasy land or even imagined it. Although I am at a special place with those entities, they are sadly not real. I’m at ComiX Ex-pose 3000 where the aliens are a pair of teenage goth twin girls called Caitlyn and Harmony, who came here with thier dad. They became hooked on UFO’s after watching Alien Smashers, the top grossing film of the year where a man and his pet hamster join forces to stop the impending alien invasion of hamsters. Yes a normal hamster teams with a man to stop an invasion of space hamsters from Pluto. Society worries me sometimes, seriously! Thier outfits are a mixture of your classic grey alien with big bulging eyes and small silver grey body, the only difference being that these outfits have big hamster teeth and a small hamster like stumpy tail. I know I said it earlier and I’ll say it again, society worries me *sighs* The dragon, a middle aged balding insurance salesman called Steve Walsowski, who although he is 43 and lives with his mum, inists that she lives with him, although he pays her rent and lives in the basement of her three bedroom colonial townhouse. The princess a chinese woman called Biyu, who looks striking in an emerald green dress and tiara combo, based of the Princess Lian from the sucessful book series ‘Princess Lian The Eteneral Princess Of Light’, although a lil shy and out of place, I think she’s a convention virgin. As for the robots? Don’t get me started on the robots, they are only here because it’s now ‘scene’ to like comics, whereas it’s ironic these same robots would picked on me ten years ago for liking comics and calling it babyish they are now here attempting to win points and score with cosplay chicks because it’s the ‘cool thing to do’.
How do I know all this? Well if I told you that I’d have to kill you, haha I’m joking or am I? *serious face* Nah it’s cool, you’re here reading this and I have cunninngly wrote this book under a pseudonym, so like other more popular characters from various universes you’ll never know it’s me.
I could be the old lady sat in front of you on the bus, the attractive guy you sit next to at work with the cheesey smile or even your mum! Back to the point at hand, how do I know this? Well did I mention I’m a supervillan? Why a supervillan? I bet you were expecting a superhero weren’t you! Well why not, think about it, a shy loner guy who got shunned by society for liking comics as a teenager, bitter by society embracing the same thing they mocked him so harshly for years ago. Where’s the justice? I’ll tell you where the justice is, it’s in my plasma ray gun shooters mwuahahahaha. No in all seriousness I wish I could be a supervillan that would be amazing, it’s actually a much more mundane existance for I’m the ‘ticket guy’.
Yes the guy who sits behind a perspex screen in a booth and checks the tickets for the people who get to be inside the glorius heavenly land whilst I am shunned and in the desolate arid wasteland outside looking in. No one bats an eyelid towards me as they hand over thier ticket for validation, whereas at a gig or music festival where I would have the power, to turf people away for attempting to break into my kingdom. Here my role is diminished to attaching wristbands and overhearing stories from people, rather than actually being talked to, whilst my supervisor 10 years my junior makes out with his chav girlfriend sitting behind, whilst they mock those in attendance.
I knew right then that I had to change my life, I had to be someone, I had to be a hero, I had to save the world well after my lunch break that is! Little did I know that’s what actually would happen ……
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Well that was my hour! First thoughts? It was quite easy, fun and extremely random to just write put your thoughts down and go with the flow, it’s kinda like blogging. I can see why people do it.
As for the actual content? Hmm I have no idea what made me think of that, was it my past experiences of being at Comic Con’s and engaging in people watching. After reading it back it seemed like quite a good idea for a screen play of a Jack Black style film where a hapless ticket guy gains super powers and ends up saving the world at a comic convention? The funny thing is that actually sounds like quite a good film and I’d probably watch it, maybe I’m onto a winner here! If you the reader of this or Hollywood steal my idea I’m coming for you 😉
Well that’s my attempts at writing for an hour, I suggest you give it a go, you may just surprise yourself.
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