American Horror Story: Roanoke “Chapter 3”

Hi AHS fans. I’m in for the lovely Presh this week, as she’s not feeling so good. Wishing you a speedy recovery girl!

Last week we left the Miller clan in a shocking cliffhanger – Lee‘s daughter Flora was missing and a yellow hoodie belonging to the little girl was hanging up in a tree about a hundred metres above their heads…

Roanoke Chapter 3

The police (i.e. the local cynics) recover Flora’s distinctive hoodie from the high tree. The family launch a search party for the little girl throughout the woods, however Lee explains she was not hopeful, because of her experience as a cop. In her interview, she talks us through the timescale milestones when a child is missing, and how the likelihood of finding the child diminishes as time goes on. Pretty quickly into the search, Lee finds something, which is revealed to be Flora’s doll, which has been dismembered and the head replaced with the head of a dead pig. The weird display is also covered in blood. (This whole episode is full of solid gold Angela Bassett performance – she’s brilliant!)

The Millers go further into the woods, and find a creepy farm, known to be the residence of the hillbilly weirdos, the Polks. There is another creepy offering on the ground – this time though it’s a dismembered pig with Flora’s doll’s head. They look around the house, and the place looks deserted. There’s flies buzzing about everywhere and rotting animal bits in the fridge. It’s pretty gross! They go out to the barn and find some dirty children suckling on a pig.

The Polk children – cleaned up and detached from the pig

The Polk children are at the hospital, having been cleaned up, and are being questioned. The police can’t get any sense out of them and they are shouting something unintelligible. Mason turns up and loses the plot with Lee, Matt and Shelby, who are anxiously waiting for news of Flora. Back at the creepy house, Mason attacks Lee and accuses her of hiding Flora to keep her from him. Shelby defends her sister in law, but Mason insists he will tell the police about Lee’s kidnapping indiscretion from  last week’s episode. Mason leaves and the family try to rest, however Matt is woken by a call in the middle of the night. The police have found a body. It has been burned beyond recognition and is strung up on one of the Blair Witch style scaffolds – it looks far to big to be Flora! Lee is handed a ring taken from the body, and she identifies it as Mason. Matt and Shelby check the security cameras, and realise that Lee left the house 15 minutes after Mason and returned four hours later. She has no alibi for the time of the murder. Lee walks in on their discussion and is angry that Shelby doesn’t trust her. They are interrupted by the arrival of a strange man called Cricket Marlow (Leslie Jordan). He’s a psychic investigator who has been sent by the spirits to help find Flora – because of course he is! He walks through the house and locates the area where Flora was hiding last week, opening the little cupboards and finding a bonnet. He also name-checks ghost buddy Priscilla, and explains that Flora is not dead, but hiding with her friend.

Cricket Marlow – Paranormal PI

Cricket sets up a seance to call Priscilla, but instead gets The Butcher. She chops their candle in half and smashes all the windows. She tells Cricket that she doesn’t have the child, and if she did she would have killed and eaten her. (Also, we get another awesome accent from Kathy Bates – it’s as good as the Freak Show one!) Cricket shouts ‘CROATOAN!’ which is the word that the Polk kids were shouting at the farm. Cricket says he can take the Millers to Flora… for $25,000. Matt is angry and accuses Cricket of being a con man. Lee takes the far more reasonable action of holding Cricket at gun point! Matt talks her down, and throws the psychic out, but Cricket tells them he will be invited back. He whispers something to Lee then leaves.

This is where the episode breaks slightly from the convention – we hear the voice of the interviewer (Cheyenne Jackson? Possibly!) asking Lee about Emily. Lee is shaken and asks for the camera to be switched off and we see candid footage of her sorting herself out. Lee reveals that she had another daughter when she was much younger and she went missing too. What?!? Lee left the 4-year-old Emily in the car when she went to run errands and she went missing.

Lee is freaking out!

Lee goes back to see Cricket and pays the fee, but Cricket can’t take her to Flora just yet. He explains that the Butcher is part of the lost colony of Roanoke, which Lee calls bullshit on, as Roanoke is miles away. Through flashback, Cricket explains that the Butcher – real name Thomasine White – was the wife of the leader of the colony. He went off on a supply run, leaving his wife in charge. The men of the colony don’t like being bossed around by a woman, so they revolt and put a spiky iron mask on her an leave her to die in the woods. The final betrayal for her is that her son Ambrose (Wes Bentley) locks the mask (although he looks really unhappy about doing it – maybe it will save him later!) After a few days in the woods, Thomasine is dying, and is attacked by something in the shadows. She is rescued by the Horned Woman, who offers her a still beating heart, which Thomasine eats – naturally. The delicious raw heart gives her new strength and she returns to the colony and delivers a cleaver to the head to all who betrayed her – with the exception of Ambrose, who is on a last warning. She then decides to move the colony a few miles in land – right to the spot where the Millers currently live!

Cricket and the Millers (which, incidentally, would be a very cool band name) head out to the woods to bargain with the Butcher for their lives. Cricket asks her to get Priscilla to return Flora in return for them leaving. Shelby is shocked to learn that Matt has agreed that, in addition to this, they will also burn down their home to ensure no one else lives there. Matt is conspicuous in his absence so Shelby goes looking for him. Luckily, Matt is safe! He just went off to get coffees for everyone because they were looking tired. Matt is a hero! Just kidding… Matt is in a trance, having sexy times with the Horned Woman next to a dead pig, being watched by two horny hillbillies. Later, Matt returns home with no memory of what has happened. Shelby is understandably miffed, and calls him out on it – Cuba Gooding JR pulls out his finest OJ ‘I didn’t do it!’ acting. They are interrupted by Lee getting arrested – presumably the work of an angry Shelby…

Matt was as shocked as anyone about the events!

That’s it for another week. Hopefully Presh will be back in action for episode 4, but if not, I’ll join you again for the crazy world of Roanoke! Chapter 4 will air Wednesday 5th October 2016 10pm (US) on FX.

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Agents of SHIELD SN4 EP02- ‘Meet The New Boss’

Several shocking twists signalled the show’s move into exciting new territory.

With all the exciting developments in the season premiere, it would have been understandable for ‘Agents of Shield’ to slow down a bit this week. Apparently they didn’t think so, as this week’s episode was jam packed with crazy twists, and saw several stories move forward at a surprising pace.

This episode finally introduced us to the new Director of Shield. In all the promotional photos it was clear he was hiding something, as a guy that smiley cannot be trusted, except the secret he was harbouring was completely unexpected. Seeing as the show is working towards re-legitimising SHIELD, it makes sense to introduce a public facing Director that maybe hasn’t got the murky past that Coulson does. It makes even more sense to make the Director an Inhuman, showing the world they are still people you can trust. That’s a generalisation of course as there is no reason at all to trust Director Smiles. It seems his Inhuman secret was initially hidden from most everyone except Coulson, and even he is being kept in the dark about some things. Though he may be a great asset, his patronising politician-esque way of speaking to the team immediately places him as a man to be wary of. Couple that with the questionable way he was ‘helping’ May at the end there, and I doubt it’ll be too long before a rebellion is started against him.

In between introducing us to Director Smiles, several other stories were moved along at significant pace, eventually overlapping. Fitz, Mack and Simmons discover the existence of the ‘ghost’ that infected May, and with it brings some great moments for the trio. Everything in the MCU is rooted in science in some way. Even the ‘magic’ in Thor is explained as advanced science, so as the show moves in to more mystical grounds, it places Fitz and Simmons in the unusual position of not having an explanation. Whilst Mack bluntly states that it could be an actual ghost, a hilarious scene sees FitzSimmons try make sense of it in any scientific way possible.

It helps that this mystical element has already been grounded with some real stakes. The deterioration of May throughout the episode was harrowing to see. Given all she’s been through, she is one of the most mentally strong characters on the show, so to see her driven insane by this mysterious entity amplifies the threat in a way that just wasn’t possible with the Chinese gangsters. The introduction of more of these ghosts heightens this threat further, especially given how angry they seemed, but we were also presented with a way to defeat them within the very same episode in the form of Ghost Rider. This fast pacing keeps the show exciting, but it runs the risk of rushing through interesting material. Seeing May’s deterioration throughout one episode proved what a threat these ghosts are, but it could maybe have been more effective to see her degrade over time. These are just thoughts though, and so long as the pacing isn’t too fast the show should continue to be exciting.

Another example of an accelerated story was with Daisy and Robbie. It was certainly fun seeing her pressure Robbie into talking, but at the same time a little disturbing. It revealed some dark qualities of Daisy that emphasised how much Lincoln’s death affected her. Even as part of the Rising Tide back in Season One she was never outwardly bad, but the way she handled things here, slowly revealing personal information about Robbie’s past, spoke excellently to the development she’s had. The performance by Gabriel Luna here should be commended, as you could tell with each bit of information he was fighting to keep the Ghost Rider inside of him. For them to go from the point of manipulation and fighting to a potential partnership within the same episode then was slightly jarring. It’s within the nature of both to help people where they can, but given how much they initially despised each other, things seemed to move a little too fast.

S.H.I.E.L.D Zephyr One Report Log_Events of Interest and Enquiry:

• The stunt with Daisy clinging onto Robbie’s car was awesome. The almost empty streets made it a little anti-climactic, but it was still a fun moment to watch.

• The Shotgun-Axe is back!

• It was nice to see Fitz and Mack team up again, as their pairing was one of the strongest elements of Season Two.

• Mack: “Why do we never search brightly lit places full of nice people?”

• I was sceptical anything would happen to him, but I admit my heart missed a beat when Mack was knocked into the primed to explode reactor core.

• Lots of Mack this episode, which was awesome. So did anyone else’s heart break when he realised Daisy and Yo-Yo had been in contact for ages?

• Fitz just losing it with Daisy was a great moment. She’s acted really selfish and everything he said rang true.

• Daisy continues to injure herself with her powers. Bet that’ll cause some tragedy down the line.

• They namedropped Peggy Carter. Such an emotional moment.

• Any ideas what Director Smiles plans to do with Agent May?

Overall then this was an exciting episode of ‘Agents of Shield’. The fast pace brought about mixed results, as the action stayed ramped up, but some moments felt like they needed more time to develop. The introduction of an intriguing new Director and the continuation of the mystical storyline produced some exciting twists and turns, whilst the storylines started to intersect. It’s not clear where ‘Agents of Shield’ is going with all this, which is an exciting prospect indeed, as the show is only likely to get crazier from here on out.

Ripper Street is Back 12th October

In a surprise move, fans of Ripper Street will be treated to two seasons in one year, as Amazon has announced the latest series will arrive sooner than expected. This will be a huge relief for fans, who were left with a gripping cliffhanger at the end of season 4.

The Victorian crime show was killed off by the BBC in 2013, but was later resuscitated by online streaming service. Now the show is ending on its own terms at season 5, which will see all six episodes arrive on 12th October.

The series will make up one single story and (according to Amazon’s publicity) “Our heroes become fugitives, forced to operate outside the law as they pursue the most insidious enemy they have encountered yet.” The enemy in question is “a serial killer with subhuman desires, but a superhuman ability to avoid apprehension”, played by Jonas Armstrong (Robin Hood). Is it going to be the eponymous Ripper they come across?

All the usual suspects will be returning, as well as a fan favourite from season 2 Detective Inspector Jedidiah Shine (Joseph Mawle – Game of Thrones).

Bad guy DI Shine (Joseph Mawle) makes a welcome return

Catch the whole thing on 12th October on Amazon.

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Luke Cage Delayed Marvel’s Iron Fist

The Netflix/Marvel series have been incredibly successful in the last few years, adding a new dimension to the Marvel Universe. In 13 episode runs, the characters are given room to breathe and develop, and the launch of the series every six months or so is considered to be a big event. Fans were delighted when it was announced that four solo shows – Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage and Iron Fist – would be made in the run up to The Defenders, which would feature all four heroes. However, while Murdoch, Jones and Cage hit the screens fairly quickly, Iron Fist‘s Danny Rand seemed to be nowhere in sight. Some fans even thought they might not even get the series at all.

Luke Cage showrunner Cheo Coker is taking the blame for that one. In a recent interview with Complex, he explained that originally it was all going to be taken quite slowly and Iron Fist was scheduled to come before Cage, however the momentum built up by Daredevil and Jessica Jones meant they decided to jump in and make them quicker. Luke Cage’s popularity in Jessica Jones made him the obvious choice choice for the next new show. Coker said, “Marvel went from, ‘We’re gonna take our time’ to ‘Let’s flip it and do Luke Cage first. We’ve got this great concept and this guy is leaping off the screen, let’s follow the momentum.’”

Don’t worry Rand fans, you won’t have to wait too long! Game of Thrones star Finn Jones was recently cast as the leading man in the Iron Fist series, and it’s due to land next year. The trailer was shared at San Diego Comic Con, and if you missed it, here it is:

Luke Cage launches on Netflix TOMORROW!!! (30th September) Hooray!!

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Good Girls Revolt Trailer Lands on Amazon

Next month, Amazon launches the 1960s drama Good Girls Revolt, which tells the stories of female journalists fighting for equality. The series is based on the true story of 46 female members of the Newsweek staff taking legal action against the publication for “systematic discrimination” against women in terms of hiring and promotion. Although the series uses real events and Lynn Povich‘s memoir of the events, most of the characters and settings are fictionalised. Newsweek becomes News of the Week, and the leading roles are possible composite characters of real men and women involved in the events. The show is created by Narcos writer/producer Dana Calvo, and is pitching itself as a stylish, cool Mad Men style affair. This time though, the Don Draper types take a back seat and the spotlight on ladies such as Jane (Anna Camp – True Blood),  Patti (Genevieve Angelson – House of Lies) and Cindy (Erin Darke – Don’t Think Twice). The show will nod to real characters too, with Grace Gummer (Mr Robot) appearing as feminist powerhouse Nora Ephron.

Watch the trailer here:

The series launches on 28th October 2016

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‘The Tick’ And More Get Full Series Orders From Amazon

In a spot of awesome news today, Amazon’s video division has announced that superhero spoof show ‘The Tick’ is to receive a full series order for 2017. Alongside the announcement Amazon also picked up ‘I Love Dick’ and ‘Jean-Claude Van Johnson’.

All three shows were available to watch through the Amazon Pilots scheme, where viewers could vote on which shows they wanted to get picked up. Clearly all three did well, so fans of each series should be very happy. ‘The Tick’ is a superhero spoof that saw a short lived live-action series from Fox back in 2001, and has since gained cult status among fans. ‘Jean-Claude Van Johnson’ meanwhile stars, you guessed it, Jean-Claude Van Damme as a parody version of himself, whilst ‘I Love Dick’ is based on the novel by Chris Kraus. Helpful hint for that last one, it is safe to google search it, just maybe don’t click on images…

Having only watched ‘The Tick’, I can only really speak to its potential. However given the stellar casts each show boasts, as well as the fairly unique ideas each one brings, Amazon may have just stumbled upon a gold mine of comedy TV.

‘It’s the circle of remakes!’ – Reimagining The Lion King Songs As The Tale Of Jon Favreau’s Latest Disney Job

 Instead of reporting it in the traditional way, I thought I’d tell you about the news that Disney are making a reimagining of The Lion King through the power of song lyrics:

The Circle of Remakes

Nants ingonyama bagithi Jon Favreau (There comes a Jon Favreau)

Sithi uhhmm ingonyama (Oh yes, it’s a Jon Favreau)

Nants ingonyama bagithi Jon Favreau (There comes a Jon Favreau)

Sithi uhhmm ingonyama (Oh yes, it’s a Jon Favreau)

Ingonyama

Siyo The Lion King (He’s going to reimagine The Lion King)

Ingonyama

Ingonyama nengw’ Jon Favreau enamabaal Disney (It’s a Jon Favreau and Disney)

Ingonyama nengw’ Jon Favreau enamabaal Disney (It’s a Jon Favreau and Disney)

Ingonyama nengw’ Jon Favreau enamabaal Disney (It’s a Jon Favreau and Disney)

Ingonyama nengw’ Jon Favreau enamabaal Disney (It’s a Jon Favreau and Disney)

Ingonyama nengw’ Jon Favreau enamabaal Disney (It’s a Jon Favreau and Disney)

Ingonyama nengw’ enamabala (se-to-kwa!)
Ingonyama nengw’ enamabala (asana)

From the day the first Disney animation begun
Featuring, adaptations , of fairytales for the young
There’s more to remake than can ever be remade
More to re-imagine than can ever be re-imagined
There’s far too much money at stake here
More profits to make than can ever be made
But Jon Favreau’s Jungle Book’s rolling high
Through the public eye
Keeps chugging along on the endless round
It’s the circle of remakes
And it entertains us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we refuse to pay
On the path unwinding
In the circle
The circle of remakes

It’s the circle of remakes
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we refuse to pay
On the path unwinding
In the circle
The circle of remakes

 Can You Feel The Hate Tonight?

There’s a bitter resentment to the rush of money
When the house of mouse writes a cheque to Mr Favreau
A  moment of upset, that inspires the internet feuds
It’s enough for the internet folk to just explain their views

And can you feel the hate tonight
It is where we are
It’s desired for the keyboard warriors
That The Lion King falls hard
And can you feel the hate tonight
How it’s laid to rest
It’s enough to make trolls and spambots
Sweat their smelly vests

There’s a time for original ideas if they only learn
That the movie studios need your dough
There’s a rhyme and reason to the nostalgic releases
When the familiarity of these ever-growing franchises sells more seats than most

And can you feel the hate tonight
It is where we are
It’s desired for the keyboard warriors
That The Lion King falls hard
And can you feel the hate tonight
How it’s laid to rest
It’s enough to make trolls and spambots
Sweat their smelly vests

Reimagining Old Classics

Reimagining old classics! What a wonderful thing
Reimagining old classics! Ain’t no passing craze
It means CGI animals replacing the animation of yesterday
It’s Disney’s  money-making philosophy

Take John Favreau here
Why, when he left Marvel Studios

When he left Marvel Studios

He found his movies lacked a certain appeal
He would achieve a 48% rotten score on Rotten Tomatoe’s scale

Jon Favreau: I’m a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned
And it hurt that my critics never stood sci- fi western things
And oh, the shame

He was ashamed

Jon Favreau: Thought of changin’ my name

What’s in a name?

Jon Favreau: And I got downhearted

How did ya feel?

Jon Favreau: Everytime that I were in bed the passion didn’t quite feel the same

Hey! Jon Favreau! Too much information for the readers!

Jon Favreau: Oh. Sorry

Reimagining old classics! What a wonderful thing
Reimagining old classics! Ain’t no passing craze
It means CGI animals replacing the animation of yesterday
It’s Disney’s  money-making philosophy

Reimagining old classics!
Reimagining old classics! Reimagining old classics!
Reimagining old classics! Reimagining old classics!
Reimagining old classics! Reimagining old classics!
Reimagining old classics! Reimagining–

It CGI animals replacing the animation of yesterday
It’s Disney’s money-making philosophy
Reimagining old classics!

I say “Reimagining”
I say “Old classics”

The Lion King’s release date has yet to be confirmed.

Please note: Jon Favreau’s comments are purely fictitious. 

Samuel L. Jackson Says S.H.I.E.L.D Will Return To The MCU

It has been over two years now since the release of ‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’ saw S.H.I.E.L.D fall at the hands of Hydra, forever branded as a terrorist organisation. Well maybe not quite forever.

In an interview with ComingSoon.net for ‘Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children’ Nick Fury himself, Samuel L. Jackson, weighed in on Shield’s place in the franchise and whether there is ever a way it could come back.

“Yeah! For sure, definitely. Why wouldn’t there be? There’s some way of fixing what they created, and hopefully somebody has that going on or Nick Fury is out there — wherever he is, probably hanging out with Jules and walking the world — figuring out what happened and how it got to that particular place. Maybe they’ll find out that all that was part of a ruse to get to something else also. That would be great. They’ll bring me back somehow, some way, for some reason. I mean, they didn’t have me around to referee the kids when they didn’t go to their rooms and got in this big old fight. We’ll see what happens.”

Seems pretty likely then. This also lines up with ongoing events in ‘Agents of Shield’, as the latest episode saw Coulson and the new Director attempting to secure Shield’s place in the world as a legitimate organisation again. In any case, I’m sure we’ll find out once ‘Infinity War’ rolls around.

 

Clothing Tips From Dark Clothing For The Who Line

Omg I love rocking my Doctor Who gear… I have so many shirts, skirts, shoes, hats, bowties…. Yeah it’s a lot…. And there are so many more wonderful things they have out there for us Whovians to enjoy and sport for our number one fave show. Don’t Blink crop tops, TARDIS  body suits, Cybermen jerseys (loooooove), my goodness, so many options. I just love that they are no longer just feeling like t-shirts, but focused on what’s in fashion. (LEGGINGS) Dark clothing line has made a YouTube video that we can wonderfully enjoy that shows us how you can pair the clothing line with everyday wear so we not only rock this amazing clothes, but also look in style doing so. I mean, wearing jeans and a t-shirt is ok for super comfortable wear, but this gives us more ideas on how to dress up for a night out… I just love the ideas on this video.

Go check out this awesome short vid! And get your fashion on with the new line up.. ^_^

 

 

Doctor Who SN1 EP3 – Forest Of Fear – The William Hartnell Years Review

Welcome back! We return to the Doctor and his companions in the cave with the holy skulls (hehe) as they look in shock and fear at their possible future.

The show then jumps to the cave-oneons sleeping all huddle ball but the old hag is awake and grabs a rock that looks a bit sharp. Then back to our heroes, tied up, in the dungeon cave trying to figure out a way to get out. (I love how the cavers know how to perform a knot to tie one up, but cant figure out the fire thing).

The old lady sneaks out of the sleeping group, making her way to the group in the cave. Susan screams as she notices the old hag, breaking through the twigs that barricade the entrance of the dungeon. She then exclaims “you know make fire??”

Another of the cave peeps, a woman, wakes Zha and warns him that the old woman has taken his sharp tool and is on her way to kill the heroes. At first he doesn’t believe the chick due to some giant boulder still being in the way, but soon realizes that she was telling the truth as the prisoners escape thanks to old haggidy. There is a quick struggle as Zha fights the old lady, knocking her to the ground (not sure if he killed her, this is questionable acting with not much in the effects department so I am not entirely sure). He then talks to the lady cavy of the need to get the heroes back and get this fire thing on the way.

The Doctor and his band are now in the forest, trying to find their way to the TARDIS, Barbara seems to be a bit hysterical and the Doctor a tad out of breath (kind of not digging how the ladies freak out a bit on the too much side here…) But they venture on through, determined to find their way, and get out of there. The two cave peeps, Zha and the chick, have followed them into the forest. Suddenly Zha is attacked by an animal, there is a lot of freaking out on the female cavepersons part, and he is down. The companions see this attack happen, and decide that they need to help. Ian and Barbara head out first, followed by Susan, even though the Doctor is not exactly behind the decision. They approach the wounded and start to help. The Doctor is pretty frustrated at this point, not trusting the cavers to keep their whereabouts a secret.

Mean while, back in the cave… The old woman lives!! And is found by Khal….. Who is not very nice to her when trying to find information on what happened to the prisoners. He then takes out a sharp rock….

Back to our heroes in the jungle, trying to help the caveman down. They are trying to explain to the young cave chick how they are helping. The Doctor still stands there, worried and unsure of the situation. (There is a quick part where the Doctor walks over to the group and caveman, leans down and picks up a rock. His hand is grabbed by Ian who asks “what are you doing?” The Doctor replies, “ I, I was going to see if he could draw us the way…”

Back at the cave, the peeps there discover that the old lady is dead. They are all angry, with Khal acting all innocent and helping with the uproar of the angry and scared dwellers. They are now going to find Zha and the prisoners…..

Back to our heroes… they have found the TARDIS!!! And it seems Khal has found them….

 

OK that’s it for this episode…. Riveting isn’t it? I know I’m at the edge of my seat.. Just makes me wonder though…. What was the Doctor going to do with the rock…. They way they had him approach and pick up the rock was almost like he was going to use it on the cave guy… but that’s not the way of the Doctor right? Hmmm IDK…. If you have seen this episode please let me know. Next review… The FIREMAKER  ^_^