DC’s Legends of Tomorrow SN1 EP8 – ‘ Night Of The Hawk ‘

In Episode 8 – Night of the Hawk – we are back to hunting Vandal Savage who is trying to build an army of Hawk-like creatures, and we experience the small mindedness and prejudices of the 1950’s.

The Waverider lands in Harmony Falls, Oregon in 1958, where a hot rod race is taking place on a deserted road.  One of the rods blows a tire and crashes, leaving the driver’s girlfriend semi conscious.  The driver of the crashed rod and the pair from the other car see a mysteriously glowing rock a few yards a way from the crash and examine it, wondering if it is some kind of comet.   Vandal Savage appears from the undergrowth, and tells them it is actually a meteorite that he too was drawn to.  He says that he was not expecting to find them, but that he considers finding them to be destiny.

On the Waverider, everyone is shaking off the effects of time travel, which apparently increase with the length of each jaunt.  Gideon produces the information that Harmony Falls has been the scene of some grisly murders while other people have gone missing.

They quickly set plans to find Savage.  Kendra and Ray are to pose as married, Martin will be a Doctor filling a vacancy at the Asylum created by the untimely death of Dr. Miller, Sara will be a nurse and assistant to Martin.  Leonard and Rip will be federal agents, and Jax will be the new kid in town.

Problem is Kendra and Ray are an interracial couple,  Jax is black, and Sara is gay, none of which, is ideal for Small Town, let alone anywhere in the 1950’s. This becomes apparent when Kendra and Ray are talking to the real estate agent about a house, and she offers to find them a place in a more forward thinking town.  While Martin and Sara are being welcomed to their new positions, the Head of the Asylum, Dr. Hannah (Ben Wilkinson) leers at Sara.  Snart and Rip  introduce themselves to Sheriff Ellison ( Darryl Shuttleworth) to examine police files relating to the case.  Sheriff Ellison insists that there is no serial killer, just some unexplained accidents. Snart tough talks him into giving them the files.

Sara, Martin and Jax meet at the local soda shop where Martin waxes nostalgic about the idyllic scene they find themselves in.  Jax points out that it is only idyllic if you are white, and Sara adds “and straight, and a man”.  Martin gets the point.  They notice that the girl from the crash, Betty Seaver (Melissa Roxborough), is sitting by herself in a melancholy state at the counter.  Jax introduces himself, causing shock from other girls sitting at the counter.  Betty apologizes for them, saying that they had never seen…., and Jax interrupts with “a guy dipping his french fries in his milkshake?”.  Betty laughs and they chat until some jocks try to intimidate Jax by telling Betty that she doesn’t hang around with losers.  Jax offers to fight, and they back down, telling Jax that it isn’t over as the soda shop owner shakes his head at them.  Betty invites Jax to hang out.

Back at the Asylum, while Sara is tracking down files of violent patients for Martin, she sees Dr Hannah sexually harassing Nurse Carlisle (Ali Liebert).  She bumps into him causing his coffee to spill on him.  Sara asks Nurse Carlisle for a tour, during which Sara sees a wing that Nurse Carlisle is not taking her to and asks about it.  This mysterious wing is Hall H, and is where Dr. Knox works with the most violent of the inmates.

At Kendra and Ray’s house, a neighbor has come by with a tuna casserole and an invite to their house party.  The neighbour introduces herself as Mrs. Knox, and her husband as Dr. Knox.  As Dr. Knox comes into view, Kendra is shocked to see that he is Vandal Savage, but manages to cover up.  Ray comes to the door to see who Kendra is talking to, and is also shocked, but covers up in a stumbling tongue-tied way.  They accept the invite.

The team meets at the Waverider to analyze the police files.  Snart observes that Savage is very good at making people disappear.  Jax snarks “something you have in common”.  Jax is forced to admit his concern that if Leonard had no problem making his best friend disappear what would he do to the rest of them?  They decide that since Savage will be busy with the party, it will be a good opportunity for Sara to search his office.  Kendra and Ray are tasked with finding out whatever they can at the house party.

Nurse Carlisle catches Sara searching Knox’s office, and wrongly assumes that she is looking for booze.  They go to the cafeteria together, where Sara lets her know that she is gay too.  Alarm bells start going off in the Asylum in Hall H.

Kendra and Ray enter the house party, where Kendra is mistaken for a waitress by one of the guests.  Ray and Kendra split up, with Kendra keeping Savage busy, while Ray checks the rest of the house.  He finds a locked room.  Savage puts moves on Kendra until he is called back to the Asylum, but promises her that they will talk more.

It seems that Tommy Fuller (Levi Meaden) has been a very bad transformed monster.  He has killed an orderly.  Savage is not pleased.

The next day, Carlisle works up the nerve to kiss Sara, but Sara pulls away and rushes out.  She later confesses to Martin that it terrified her, because it opened up previously dead feelings.

Kendra stands guard while Ray breaks into Savage’s locked room.  The search produces Kendra’s dagger.

Jax and Betty hang out on Lover’s Lane, in her Dad’s car.  Jax wants to talk about the disappearances and what happened to Tommy the night of the crash, but Betty wants to make out with him. The jocks from the soda shop show up, wanting to fight. Suddenly Tommy appears and knocks the stuffing out of the jocks, destroys the roof of the car and slashes Betty’s neck with a talon.

Jax jumps back into the drivers seat and tries to get Betty to medical attention at the ship, leaving the wounded jocks behind.   He is pulled over by Sheriff Ellison for speeding, who pays no attention to the wounded Betty, or to Jax’s story about the attack and other victims needing help, focusing instead on Jax being on Lovers Lane with a white girl.  He knocks Jax out and drags him to the cruiser, leaving Betty to bleed out in the car.  Luckily, Snart and Rip have been tracking Jax through his bio signature and find Betty in time get her to the medical bay on the ship.

Betty tells them what happened the night of the crash. Gideon finds silicate materials in her bloodstream which brings them to the conclusion that the meteorite Savage found is the same type of meteorite that transformed Kendra and Carter, and that Savage is trying to create an army of mutated versions of Hawkgirl.  Gideon and Martin build a serum that will hopefully cure anyone transformed by this particular meteorite.

Kendra meets with Savage at the asylum, in hope of getting close enough to him to use the dagger.  However, Savage turns the tables on her, and reclaims the dagger.  Savage doesn’t buy that she is there alone, and pushes a button to release his army. Kendra and Savage battle for the dagger. Meanwhile, the rest of the team have infiltrated the Asylum.  Rip and Ray are caught snooping by Sheriff Ellison who works with Savage, and Martin and Snart are checking out Hall H when the test subjects are released.

Sara has been making amends to Carlisle when they are interrupted by one of the nasties.  Sara gets medieval on its ass, Ray and Rip get away from the Sheriff, and Ray rescues Kendra from Savage, who disappears.  A transformed Jax appears in Hall H, where Snart is busily stopping the other nasties with his cold gun.  He fires at an overhanging pipe to disorient Jax, and Sara arrives in time to knock Jax out.

Back at the ship, the serum is administered to Jax, curing him. The team returns the others to normal. Sara goes back to the Asylum to say goodbye to Carlisle, Jax gives Betty  a new car, and Kendra and Ray pack up the house. Back at the Waverider Jax apologizes to Leonard.   Chronos attacks and gains entry to the Waverider, and episode ends as the ship pulls away, leaving Sara, Kendra and Ray standing in the field.

My Favorite Moments:

Martin’s realization that back in the day really wasn’t the ideal that he remembered

Sara spilling coffee on Dr. Hannah, stopping the harassment of Nurse Carlisle

Jax dunking his french fries as a way out of a potentially awkward line of conversation

Jax’s apology to Leonard, and his acceptance of Leonard as a team member

Martin praising Leonard for his restraint and quick thinking

 

DC’s Legends of Tomorrow SN1 EP7 – ‘ Marooned ‘

In Episode 7 – Marooned – Dr Stein fulfills his childhood dream of being an heroic space ranger, and we meet another Time-Master.

Gideon needs an upgrade, because his database is out of date.  He has run out of clues as to where Savage might be found next.  In the normal course of events, this upgrade would happen automatically whenever the Waverider returned to home base.  Gideon receives a distress call from another Time-Ship in the vicinity, the Acheron.  The team points out to Rip that it is too coincidental to be anything other than a trap, but our fearless leader insists that this is the only way that Gideon can get his upgrade, and so they rush to the rescue.

Upon boarding the Acheron, Rip, Jax and Mick are captured by ‘Captain’ Valor (Callum Keith Rennie) and his crew, who Rip realizes are space pirates.  Acheron’s time drive has been destroyed per Time-Master protocol, and Valor wants the Waverider.  Rip tries to defuse the situation, claiming they are all on the same side for once because of the danger posed by Savage.

Valor doesn’t give two rips for the danger, and sends a message to Ray at the Waverider’s helm demanding that he allow the pirates to board and take the Waverider over.  Rip slips a codeword in which executes one of Gideon’s emergency protocols, causing the Waverider to fire a shot and take evasive action.  Valor orders pursuit and fires a shot in return, blowing a hole in the Waverider’s hull. Valor then warns Ray that he has 10 seconds to comply or he starts shooting prisoners.

Rip manages to slip another codeword in to deactivate the holographic Waverider that Acheron has been chasing, but now Valor catches on and throws the three into the brig.  Sara and Len try to fix the breach,  but Captain Cold’s gun runs out of steam before it can be completely sealed, causing the bulkhead doors to close which traps them inside the engine room.

Atom dons his suit and goes outside to finish sealing the breach.  While Sara and Len are slowly freezing to death in the engine room, Sara tells Len that there is no way that Rory will ever return from the dark, but Len reminisces about meeting Rory in juvie, where Rory first saved him and says that Rory has had his back ever since.

Len gets existential and wants Sara to tell him from her unique perspective what it is like to die. Meanwhile, Professor Stein has realized that something is up and leaves the jumpship to find and disarm the Acheron’s targeting system and weapons array . Sneaking through the Acheron, and managing to avoid all but one of the pirates,  he does just that, and then goes on to release Rip, Jax and the oh so judgmental Time-Master Captain Eve Baxter (Stephanie Cleough) .

Rory has already been released from the brig because he wants to make a deal with the pirates.  Rip has told him that he was never part of the plan, and that he was only along because he and Snart were a package deal.  Awwww, Rip hurt his widdle feewings. Rory’s deal with the pirates includes being taken back to the moment of meeting Rip, so that he can tell him to shove the mission, thereby getting his partner Leonard back.

Rory and some of the pirates take the jumpship back to the Waverider, where Atom has succeeded in sealing the breach, nearly killing himself in the process, but releasing Snart and Sara from the engine room.  As the pirates follow Rory onto the Waverider, Snart realizes that it is time to choose a side, and fires at Rory, while Atom, Sara and Kendra take on the rest of the pirates.

Back on the Acheron, Rip has come up with a plan to rid themselves of Valor and the remaining pirates.  His plan is based on his memory of a training simulation where his illicit girlfriend uses explosive decompression to great effect.  After a rip-snorting fight with Valor and just in the nick of time, Rip shoots Valor and opens the hull doors, sucking the remaining pirates out into space.  Captain Baxter is grateful, (and now considerably less judgmental) and gives Rip the update that Gideon needs before returning to the Vanishing Point.

Back on the Waverider, the team has a discussion about Rory’s fate.  His betrayal was not part of any larger plan, which means they are not able to trust him again.  The brig is not built for long term incarceration. They can’t release him in 2016 because the team has too much family there, so what to do?  Leonard makes the clearly difficult decision that he needs to take care of it.

The Waverider lands somewhere, somewhen; Leonard takes Mick outside.  Mick realizes that this is the end for their partnership, and quite probably for him.  He wants to know what happened to Snart, the punk kid he saved in Juvie, and the partner he has had since.  He says that only one of them can leave this spot alive.  Leonard agrees and shoots him with the cold gun.

My Favorite Moments:

Rip’s facility to baffle ’em with BS. “You don’t know my crew, iron-willed and battle-hardened.  The most formidable warriors to navigate time and space.”

How Rip’s girlfriend became his wife, when the Time-Masters expressly forbid relationships.

Rip telling Captain Baxter that he doesn’t regret betraying his oath to the Time Council, because he is following a higher calling.

Stein on being a space ranger:  “I’ll teach you to mess with a nuclear physicist”

The kiss – Kendra and Ray FINALLY !

The entire conversation between Sara and Len while they are trapped in the engine room, where Sara admits that at least if they die they won’t die alone, followed by Len knocking Mick out to save Sara, all of which points towards the potential for a romantic relationship between the two.

Stay tuned for my reviews of Episode 8 & 9, and remember to follow skatronixxx.com!

A Recap Of DC’s ‘Legends of Tomorrow’ First Six Episodes

Hi All!  I’m the new reviewer for Legends of Tomorrow, the newest addition to DC’s universe.  As the show has not yet been reviewed at Skatronnixx.com since @mitch_rated wrote about it coming to Sky1 in Britain, I thought I would start with a catch-up of the story from pilot to episode 6.  But first, the credits.

Legends debuted on The CW on January 21, 2016, in Canada also on CTV and airs on Thursdays.  It was renewed for a second season on March 11.

The Characters:

Rip Hunter – Arthur Darvill

Atom – Brandon Routh

Firestorm (the brains)/Professor Martin Stein – Victor Garber

Firestorm (the brawn)/Jefferson Jackson – Franz Drameh

White Canary/Sara Lance – Caity Lotz

Hawkman/Khufu/Carter Hall – Falk Henschel

Hawkgirl/Chay-Ara/Kendra Saunders – Ciara Renée

Captain Cold/ Leonard Snart – Wentworth Miller

Heatwave/Mick Rory/Chronos- Dominic Purcell

Gideon – WaveRider’s AI voiced by Amy Pemberton

Vandal Savage/Hath-Set – Casper Crump

The Story So Far:

In the first episode, we meet Rip Hunter, Time-Master and Captain of the timeship Waverider, in the year 2166.  The world has been basically laid waste to by the immortal baddie, Vandal Savage.  Rip,  a flawed Time-Master, wants to go back in time to stop Savage before he gets started: in effect to re-write the future.

Having had a personal run-in with Savage, he knows that he can’t go it alone.  He presents his plan to the Time-Council, and it goes pretty much as expected, a big fat NO. He and Gideon get the hay out of Dodge and go back in time anyway to collect a team to help him.

The Waverider lands in Star City, in the Arrowverse, where all of his potential crew are currently in the middle of their own battles.  Now Rip doesn’t much believe in explaining himself more than once, so he collects each member by zapping them with his space ray gun just as each of them triumph in their missions.

When they wake up he tells them who he is,  what his mission is, and indulges in some ego stroking to get them to agree to join him.  Some of the members don’t want to go, notably Rory, Jax and HawkGirl.  Professor Stein hijacks Jax by means of drugging and kidnapping, because after all, heroes – nay, Legends – are required and Stein alone cannot be a hero, Snart convinces Rory by pointing out that they can steal the most valuable treasures in history, and Hawkman and Hawkgirl settle it like warriors.

The team assembles, and leaves 2016 to track down their first lead, Professor Boardman in 1975.  Meanwhile, the bounty hunter Chronos arrives in Star City and informs his employers that he is closing in on Rip.  Professor Boardman turns out to be not only an expert on Vandal Savage, but is also Kendra and Carter’s son from their just previous lives.  Although he dies because of a stray bullet in a firefight between our heroes and Chronos, he provides them with their next clue contained within his journal.  And now the truth begins to emerge.

Rip tells them that he has quit the Time-Masters because they did nothing about Savage killing his wife and child, but that he has not lied about the rest of it.  He has allowed them to think that they are heroes in their futures, but that he took them because they are actually insignificant to the time-line.

They want to make their own fates, so they all agree to continue with the mission.  In succeeding episodes, they romp through the time-line in hot pursuit of Vandal Savage, while being chased themselves by Chronos.  Along the way, they lose and recover a piece of the Atom’s suit, stop Savage from selling a nuke – cameo by Damien Darhk (Neil McDonogh), discover the one weapon that can end Savage forever, get Hawkman killed, nearly lose Kendra and are captured by the Russians who are trying to build their own Firestorm.

And we get a little of Snart’s history, when he tries to change his father’s fate.  In  episode 6 they travel to a ravaged Star City in 2046 where they talk Oliver Queen (Stephen Amell) out of retirement to join Diggle’s son Connor Hawke (Joseph David-Jones) who has taken up the Green Arrow mantle.  DeathStroke (Jamie Andrew Cutler) makes a cameo appearance.  Captain Cold and Heatwave have a “difference of opinion” when Heatwave realizes that he is losing Captain Cold to the team and wants to stay in 2046.

My Favorite Moments:

Pretty much anytime Snart opens his mouth.  What comes out is always humorously dry, witty and sarcastic, and I am really enjoying this character’s development.

Jax tells Professor Stein that he thinks Stein still has plenty of adventure left in him, and that he wants to be part of the team because in his high school football days, when he felt safest was when his teammates were looking out for him.

Rip’s memories.  They make him who he is – a “flawed” but very human time master- and are the driving force behind his self imposed mission to end Savage.

My reviews of Episodes 7, 8 and 9 will be coming at you in the next couple of days.  Stay tuned and don’t forget to follow skatronixxx.com!

 

 

 

 

 

Supernatural S11 EP17 – Hit Us Hard With ‘Red Meat’

S11E17 -Red Meat

Written By: Robert Berens & Andrew Dabb

Directed By:  Nina Lopez-Corrado

Well, we got our first female directed episode last night…. and, Chuck help me, it hurt like Hell.  Now, I need therapy.  I was late with this review because I’ve been hiding in my closet in the fetal position since The Show ended last night.

I am so not joking.

If you haven’t seen the episode yet, be sure to have a box of tissue and a therapist on speed dial when you do.

I mean, I knew it was going to be rough from the moment (a few weeks ago) when I read the spoiler that Sammy got shot in the episode.  Because, as addicts… uh, I mean, FANS of The Show will tell you, when Sammy gets hurt … Dean will kill your feels.  And, this Dean girl hurt FOR him.  There’s a moment when Dean is pleading with The Reaper Billie (played by Lisa Berry) to “Bring him back, and take me instead”.  You can see the tears welling up in his eyes and you’re wondering how he’s holding them back because you’ve already flooded your living room.  I wasn’t crying that hard.  Really.  I’m just using metaphors and stuff, cause, you know, I’m a writer.  Then there’s that moment when Billie tells him that the kicker is that Sammy’s not even dead.  You can see every muscle in Dean’s body just relax in relief.  And, you let out the breath that you didn’t even notice you were holding until then.  You did.  Not me.  Because again, I’m just using metaphors and stuff.

Really.

I do have to say that it was a real treat to see BAMF Sammy in this episode.  We see BAMF Dean a LOT.  But, even after being shot and smothered, while bleeding profusely, Sam managed to take out two werewolves and make it back to Dean in time to take out another and save his brother.  Now that’s a BAMF right there…. but it’s just another day of the week for a Winchester.

The best part of the episode wasn’t a line this week.  It was that moment when Sam made it back to Baby.  He fell against her rear quarter panel and sort of patted her trunk, before digging in his pocket for his phone to call Dean.  When he made it to Baby, did you fist pump the air and yell out “Yes!” loud enough to make the neighbors think you were having a romantic encounter in the bedroom?  No?  So, it was just me then?  That’s cool…maybe next time.

Can’t wait ’til next week when they emotionally compromise me again.

Supernatural: The Hellatus is Over! SN11 EP 16 – Safe House’

S11E16  Safe House

Written by:  Robbie Thompson

Directed by:  Stefan Pleszczynski

 

I’m so happy to be able to report that The Hellatus is over!  And, the cast and crew really knocked it out of the park this time with two of my favorite characters returning, Bobby (played by Jim Beaver) and Rufus (played by Steven Williams).  They’re not just my favorite; they’re two of the Famdom’s favorite too.

This was another MotW episode that will make you never want to do home improvement projects again.  The best line of the show happened even before “Then” appeared on my screen.

Knock, knock, knock.  Bobby flings open the door and there stands Rufus.  “Oh, good.  You’re home.  Listen, you gotta help me bury a body.”  Now, that’s #FriendshipGoals right there.  Of course, that scene is actually a flashback from S6E4 Weekend at Bobby’s…. but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s still the best line in the episode.

Sam and Dean investigate an attack on a child that left the little girl in a coma in the hospital and soon learn that Bobby and Rufus handled the same case a “handful of years ago” back when The Boys were trying to stave off The Apocalypse.  The entire episode is filled with scenes from both investigations as The Boys’ hunt mirrors that of the “Elder Statesmen”.

There are so many great moments that bring on cases of The Feels.  Once we learn that the MotW makes you see things that will keep you sad and heartbroken to make your soul weak and easy prey, Bobby is shown his boys (Our Boys) dead at the bottom of the stairs.  His response of “Oh, God” is full of pain and hit the whole Famdom hard… right in The Feels.  But, the one that hit me the hardest, was when Dean sees Bobby coming down the stairs.  *Smack* Right upside the feels… no no… I didn’t need those, I’ve got plenty more.  Thanks a lot Robbie Thompson (liberal use of the sarcasm font right there).

Oh Chuck, how I’ve missed Bobby, and even Rufus.  Thanks so much CW for the little visit with them… and showing us once again that just because you die on Supernatural, doesn’t mean you’re dead.

Speaking of Chuck, I made a small error in an earlier article.  In my defense, it was in the middle of Spring Hellatus and I was suffering severely from Winchester Withdrawals.  But, I said that the episode with the return of Chuck (played by Rob Benedict) was due to air on March 30th.  Actually, the episode S11E20 is due to air on MAY 4th.  Sorry about that… just another symptom of Winchester Withdrawals.

Next week, it’s the episode entitled Red Meat.  How could I forget it’s the one where Sam gets SHOT!  We’ll also see the return of Billie the Reaper (played by Lisa Berry).  Can’t wait to get smacked in The Feels again.

The CW Announces Show Renewals!

I’m in HEAVEN!

Today The CW has released its list of renewals!

They’re renewing almost all of their current line-up including my favorites, Supernatural (Season 12), The Vampire Diaries (Season 8) and The Originals (Season 4).

Some articles had listed TVD and The Originals as shows in danger of being cancelled. With ratings low since Nina Dobrev’s departure, The Vampire Diaries (along with The Originals) had been moved to the ‘cancellation waiting room’ of Friday nights.  But, apparently they’re doing well enough there that the suits at the network are willing to give them another season.

There was never any doubt as to the renewal of Supernatural.  CW boss, Mark Pedowitz has always maintained that as long as The Boys want to continue so will the show.  Apparently, J2 still want to keep hunting monsters, because the Famdom is getting a Season 12.

I can’t wait to see what new and creative ways the writers of these shows will torture me next year!

T’s Supernatural Spring Hellatus Journal

*WARNING:  CONTAINS SPOILERS*

entry #3 – current countdown 13 days, 3 hours, 49 minutes.

Hello again, Journal,

I won’t lie; the Hellatus is getting to me.  I’ve begun counting the minutes.  Sometimes, I feel like a prisoner marking time on a wall…. waiting for the Winchesters to come break me out of … well… my Hellatus.

I’ve begun to chew my nails, and the shakes are so bad now that I can barely type this entry.

I’ve been reading every single article I can find online about the show.  Including some with spoilers, a sin I know, but I just can’t help myself now.  One article I read this morning said that in episode 20 (titled Red Meat) that will air on March 30, Sammy gets shot!  However will I survive THAT?! … uh, sorry….I mean… However, will Dean survive THAT?!

Last night’s #HellaRewatch party on twitter went well.  It’s fun to commiserate with fellow addicts… uh… I mean … fans.   I’d like to give a shout out to a few of the loyal fans that have come along for the ride on Wednesday nights with me on twitter.  Lora @yoopergirl89 … @JBJBounce …. Lisa, @black88rose… and so many more.  You girls, ROCK!  Our next #HellaRewatch party will be Wednesday, March 16th at 8pm Central.  We’ll be re-watching episodes from S10… Fan Fiction (SPN’s love letter to the Famdom) and About A Boy.  Come join us, Journal… it’s a lot of fun.

Don’t be late though, Journal… I will start without you!

The Originals SN 3 EP 15 – ‘An Old Friend Calls’

S3E15  – “An Old Friend Calls”

Written By:  Carina Adly MacKenzie & Michael Russo

Directed By:  Jeffery Hunt

Immediately after the “Previously on The Originals” segment, we see Klaus taking a box out of a safe.  Turns out those are all letters that were written to the families of Mikaelson victims.  We could safely say that The Past has always been the Mikaelson’s biggest problem, but then when you’ve had a thousand years on this Earth, you can make a crap ton of enemies, and the Mikaelson’s weren’t slouches.  In fact, you might even call them overachievers.  It’s in this opening scene that the best line of the show is said…and pretty much sets the tone for the entire episode.  Klaus is going on about how all these past enemies will now be coming for him, and Freya says, “It’s only been a few days since the sire bond was broken, must you descend into crippling paranoia so soon?” and Elijah (bless his sarcastic heart) responds, “It’s a default setting”.  Did I say that Klaus gets all the best lines?  What was I thinking?

Then right after, while Klaus is all pouty and broody, Elijah gets in another dig, “Perhaps you should go see a therapist.”  Which, of course, is a reference to Cami.

While Klaus is out, he sees an old enemy on the street, then promptly runs back home to, in typical Klaus fashion, tell Elijah and Freya, “I told you so.”  Well, okay, those weren’t his exact words but that’s basically how it went down.  There was a great scene showing off the sibling relationship of Klaus and Elijah…and the great chemistry between Daniel Gillies and Joseph Morgan.  It was my favorite scene of the whole episode.  I may or may not have watched it several times.  If you didn’t, what’s wrong with you?  That was hilarious!

Across town, Davina is surprised to learn that she brought back Kol  the vamp… not Kol the witch.  Then Kol says, “Not to be dramatic, but I need you to put a ring on this finger.”  Of course, he means a daylight ring so that he can go have a long awaited reunion with his family.  Davina tells Kol that she’s “pretty sure, Klaus wants me dead”.  Wow, is that the understatement of the year or what?  But, Davina bravely (or stupidly depending on your point of view) doesn’t back up from going with Kol to see the other Mikaelson siblings.

There were a lot of touching family moments in this episode, but I’ve left out what’s going on with Cami.  She’s more than a little pissed that Klaus didn’t “rip off Aurora’s head”.  She’s worried that it means that Klaus couldn’t kill his crazy ex girlfriend because he still loves her.  Which later prompts Cami to tell Klaus that the part of her that loved him was the human part…and she’s gone.  Man, that’s a douchey way to break up with a guy.

Hayley’s been up to her own extra curricular activities too.  She’s got a list, and she’s checking it twice.  Every single one on the list has been very very naughty.  The list is of Strix members … the ones that killed Jackson.  I won’t go into the gory details, but I will say that Marcel and Elijah manage to clean up the mess.  After which, Hayley tells Elijah what we’ve been waiting for since the series premiere…. she says, “I love you, Elijah.”  I gasped so loud that I had to rewind the DVR because I missed what she said next… and I sucked in enough air that there’s probably not a speck of dust in my entire den now.  What she said was basically the worst break up speech EVER…. rivaling even “It’s not you, it’s me.”  She’s got to forget Elijah, to honor Jackson.  Wait.  What?  Quit playing with my emotions here, writers.  This is sooooo not fun for me.

Klaus managed to kill Cortez (the old enemy), but only after Cortez tells him that there’s more on the way that will take him down in the most painful way possible.  Obviously, this guy doesn’t know the name of the show is The Originals, NOT Stupid Vampires They Sired.  I guess Klaus doesn’t know the name of the show either because he took Hayley and Hope and ran for the hills.

And then…. then…. that’s when we find out that Kol isn’t as good as he’s trying to be for Davina.  And, that Kol isn’t the only Mikaelson sibling that has come back from the dead!

The next new episode will air on April 1st.

I.  Can’t.  Wait.