Smackdown – 26/05/2016

After an enjoyable Extreme Rules, welcome back to our regularly scheduled Smackdown. Tonight we continue with the Money In The Bank qualifiers. For those that missed out on Raw, so far Sami Zayn, Cesaro, Dean Ambrose, Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens are qualified for the match. Two more places are open for qualification.

We open with a promo from Michael Cole, setting the scene for MITB and introducing Dean Ambrose as his guest for an interview. Ambrose gloats about crushing Jericho before being interrupted by Kevin Owens. I’m always down for KO mocking Cole. Owens refers back to the Wrestlemania ladder match and how he’ll get up the ladder this time before getting interrupted by Sami Zayn. Ambrose reminds people that he’s still there by supporting Zayn’s mocking of KO, ‘he’s right, nobody cares’. After telling Owens about how he’s focused on the prize this time rather than KO, we get another interruption as Former MITB winner Alberto Del Rio emerges. As Del Rio explains why he’ll win the match, Zayn drops some spoilers and reveals that Del Rio will be the next qualifier, ‘You’re not even in the match, you have to beat Zack Ryder‘. This reminder of Ryder’s burial pisses off KO, as he starts a brawl in the ring to end the segment.

Alberto Del Rio vs Zack Ryder

This fight seems like more of a formality than a real matchup, from the get go Del Rio has complete control over the match, with only a few impressive moves proving otherwise, such as the wrecking ball drop kick that Ryder pulls off.The matches ending was very underwhelming, with Ryder lasting about two seconds before tapping out to Del Rio. Wouldn’t it be nice if Ryder was allowed to hold onto success for a little while longer? Oh well, Alberto Del Rio comes out of this match, qualifying for the MITB match in June.

Winner by Submission Alberto Del Rio

Next up we have the GOAT Enzo Amore coming out to thunderous applause. Although Cass was great on his own, he just seems so much more at home at Enzo’s side. The Dudleys interrupt Enzo before he even gets his first sentence out.  A match is teased before The Dudleys back down, announcing that they’ll fight on the vastly inferior Monday Night Raw. If Creative wants to make Smackdown equal to Raw, they need to give worthwhile matches to Smackdown.Title match rematches that end in retained titles don’t count.  Hopefully we’ll get important matches after Smackdown goes live in July.

Rusev vs Kalisto (US Title Match)

Unlike Sunday, this match is a complete squash, with Rusev destroying Kalisto as he should be. If it wasn’t for Kalisto favouring his back during the match, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Sin Cara put on the wrong mask and ran out for a fight. The match starts to go back and forth towards the end but after Rusev capitalises on Kalisto’s back again, we have another submission win for Rusev. The end of the rivalry is marked by Titus O’Neil coming out to defend Kalisto, demanding a match, Rusev backs down, we’ll probably see it on Monday. Maybe this means that Rusev won’t be destroyed by Cena straight away after his return if he’s distracted by Titus.

Winner by submission Rusev

We then have a recap from Monday on Charlotte kicking Ric Flair out of the ring.This includes interviews from many superstars, asking their opinion on the matter (Including Dean Ambrose and  Titus?). This leads to Charlotte taking a commentary role on the next match.

Dana Brooke vs Natalya

I shit you not, this match was over before I managed to finish the heading for this section. What’s the point of having a match that takes up less time than a recap of Monday (The fallout of the match takes more time than the match on the above Youtube clip) . We get a few exchanged blows and a sharpshooter before Charlotte interrupts by attacking Natty. Natalya responds by putting Charlotte in a sharpshooter, then having to take on Flair and Brooke at the same time. This goes about as well as you could expect. At least Charlotte played a good heel I suppose? Her simple request of ‘Title’ before being given her belt was kind of good.

Winner  by disqualification Natalya(?)

We get an interview with AJ Styles where he is asked ‘What’s next?’ Styles laments over his time since joining the WWE, before replying ‘I’m not sure’. Please give suggestions to Creative over what to do with AJ Styles, this is an obvious cry for help. Maybe he should go after the Intercontinental now that most of the contenders have jumped ship to pursue the MITB. That’d be a good first step.

The Golden Truth vs Breezango

I miss Fabreeze, it was perfect damnit! What’s the deal? Did it infringe on copyright or something? It would be worth going to court over that name. On The Golden Truth’s second match as a tag team, we have about two minutes before R Truth is pinned. Why are these matches going by so quickly? Is there something big that is supposed to be going on tonight? Maybe another qualifier for MITB? The Golden Truth storyline has been going on for months and after we finally get it, the matches take up less time than the cake promo form a couple months back. Seriously, its not a race. This needs to stop, I mean come on, this treatment is why Golddust’s brother fucking left.

Winner by Pinfall, Breezango

Seth Rollins returns to Smackdown, as it stands, he’s far too good to be here. The crowd finally makes some noise for Rollins,  as he hypes up Smackdown for some reason. I hope Rollins joins Team Smackdown in July. Heel Rollins immediately shoots down the crowd and leaves. Baring in mind they hyped up his return all night. There was more time dedicated to spots about his return than what was actually spent on his return. After the rest of tonight, this absolutely makes sense.

Cesaro vs The Miz (Intercontinental Title Match)

This is it, this is why every other match tonight ended so quickly, they were saving time for this matchup. Of course they’d make time for Cesaro to become champion! Ah that makes sense. True to form, The Miz retains. The two put on a good match, with The Miz targeting Cesaro’s still injured shoulder. I wonder how long ago the shoulder actually healed, because at this point the tape is only there to make The Miz’s wins make sense. Maryse is definitely useful in these matches, helping to remove the turn-buckle pad which costs Cesaro the match. This is definitely the match of the night, which isn’t actually saying much. But at the end of the day, it’s just a repeat of Monday with a slightly alternate ending.

Winner by Pinfall The Miz

That was an overwhelmingly dull Smackdown, with the matches taking up less time than the promos advertising those matches. The crowd’s silence throughout the night echoes my feelings for this week. Going forward all we have out of this is Alberto Del Rio qualifying for the MITB match. See you next week.

Follow me on Twitter @oliverwoodster

 

 

Of Lava Cakes and Little Bray Wyatt

The first season of Camp WWE rolls on. Episodes four and five continue to show that the WWE Network can diversify beyond wrestling, reality shows and movies. It’s taken a couple of years, but the network is beginning to branch out from the safe space of vintage footage and Raw recaps.

In “Vince Isn’t That Into U,” young Triple H is crushing something awful on the teenage Stephanie McMahon. Sergeant Slaughter advises Trips to tell Steph how he really feels. (Just be glad Macho Man isn’t one of the counselors.) To prove his worth, the teen Game takes Steph’s father Vince McMahon on a date. Meanwhile, John Cena makes a gluten-free lava cake, which Mark Henry promptly eats, leading to the two bonding over Henry’s slowly-digesting food baby.

“A Family McMahon” sees McMahon quit the camp over the cruel pranks of little Steve Austin. It’s funny, but would be better with the real Austin playing himself. The subplot of Nikki Bella taking little Bray Wyatt to a dance is handled well. Little Bray even becomes a sympathetic character at one point, something we haven’t seen on Raw. (They could have gone with Little Mankind, but he may have been too sympathetic.) Lex Luger puts in a cameo, stealing the show with only a few lines.

McMahon is hilarious, as usual. There’s a reason they give him the most screen time, and it’s not just because he’s the boss. McMahon is consistently the show’s biggest surprise, delivering his ADD supervillain dialogue with unexpected comic timing. The rest of the cast puts in decent work, although it would be nice to know who they are. Like many WWE shows, Camp WWE is light on credits, a major head-scratcher when you consider the amount of talent involved. (We can assume that Jim Johnston composed the music, as he’s been WWE’s in-house composer since the eighties.)

We’re only five episodes in, but Camp WWE remains funny, with a few full-on gut laughs in every episode. Jump on here if you haven’t already, then go back and check out the rest.

Photo Credit: WWE

Pros And Cons of WWE’s New Brand Split

With the recent influx of talent and the return of Shane McMahon, a brand split felt inevitable. Fans have been clamoring for this to happen for years now. But is should fans be careful what they wish for or is gonna be everything they dreamed of? There is one good one way to examine the risks. Let’s take a moment to look at the things they got right and the things they did wrong the first time there was a brand split.

Pro: They could have their cake and eat it too

Realistically, wrestling is a negative sum expansion – someone has to be on top, there is only one world champion. The company recently inherited a ton of talent including AJ Styles and a whole lot of people from NXT have drifted to the main roster. That’s already in conjunction with people who have been headliners for years such as Reigns, Cena, and Rollins and people who fans have been clamoring to see in the main event such as Ambrose and Owens. The early days of the brand split also took place during what fans unlovingly call the Reign of Terror when Triple H was very much a world title hog. However, that was on Raw. On Smackdown, guys like Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar and Eddie Guerrero had chances at the world title. True, guys like Christian and Rob Van Dam often ended up mid-carders (with occasional world title reigns) regardless of what show they were on. I sadly see the same thing happening to guys like Neville and maybe Cesaro – things are kinda looking up for him ever since he started wearing that tear-away Bond suit. But for the most part, I see new stars created.

Pro: More screen-time for certain guys

It’s not just a chance to let new people have some chances at world title gold, but these guys may have a little extra TV time. Instead of giving attention to Roman Reigns on two shows, Reigns will be on his own show so that time can be spent giving a little promo time to Kevin Owens or AJ Styles. On that note…

Pro: Less pressure on everyone

If the WWE is splitting shows into different brands, guys may not be working every night. This may sound like a rip off to fans who might want to see a certain someone on a certain show. However, those fans would probably be a lot happier when those guys are getting injured a lot less. Injuries have been piling up more and more. If they can divide the roster among different brands, they can have people work certain shows, having people work a little less and (hopefully) cause fewer injuries.

Con: More Authority Figures

WWE sure loves their authority figures. And they were all over the place during the brand split. Both Raw and Smackdown had some kind of authority figure – sometimes more than once. To be fair, they had the right people doing these – Steve Austin, Teddy Long and Paul Heyman were all entertaining in their roles. But we also Stephanie McMahon and we’re gonna have a lot more of her.

Con: One Show is Probably Gonna be the B-Show

It may be interesting to see how the company will split up the roster – define who is a Smackdown guy and who is a Raw guy. However, the WWE booking team may not have the same ideas as the fans as to who is talented and who’s a star. Between 2002 and 03 and when the brand split was fairly new, Smackwon was THE show. Even with Jericho, RVD and other talented guys, Raw also had the reign of terror while Smackdown – which had Paul Heyman as a booker – had guys like Eddie Guerrero, Edge, Brock Lesnar and Rey Mysterio tearing down the house. Even Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon were mainstays of Smackdown during this era. However, when Brock Lesnar left in 2004, that seemed to trigger something that made people care less about Smackdown and it became a clear B-show. Even with guys like Undertaker, Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle, the show just had a B-feel to it with tons of guys the company just didn’t seem to care about while Raw started having much better programming. There were still good matches, but read some of the cards for those Smackdown pay per views in 2004 and 05. Among gems like Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio were a whole lot of matches that did not sound PPV-worthy. Between 2008 and 09, things improved a little. Smackdown still kinda felt like a B-show, but it was a B-show worth watching. Guys like CM Punk and Jeff Hardy would have killer feuds/matches without jockeying for position from guys like Cena. But 2010, the writing was on the wall that Smackdown was gonna be a b-show even if worthwhile talent was there.

Con: WWE needs to stick to their guns to make it work

The original brand split was diluted by a few things. By 2009, Smackdown guys started showing up on Raw more often. In 2011, Raw Supershows which featured both shows became frequent. In 2012, there was a storyline about both shows having the same general manager, but for some reason, they were still treated like separate brands… with guys just randomly jumping from show-to-show and challenging for whatever title they wanted. At the end of 2013, the world heavyweight and WWE Championships were officially unified, thus putting the end to any illusion that the brand split was still a think. Unless WWE wants to recreate the mistakes of the past, they need to go all the way and make sure people aren’t just drifting from show-to-show.

There are certain things that are hard to tell whether they’re pros are cons just because it’s hard to predict whether or not they’ll pan out a certain way. Will WWE go with brand exclusive pay per views again? I highly doubt that, but if one show is a B-show, once again bad history might repeat itself one way or another. Of course, that could also mean good things like giving storylines more time to develop. On that note, the show’s writers may be stretching themselves for having to write for two distinct shows. If nothing else, Smackdown should at least have some unique program rather than feeling like a dumping ground for less important matches. The brand split will occur in July so time will tell on all of these.

WWE Brand Split: Fantasy Roster

With the news of the upcoming WWE brand split, many questions are being brought up about how the WWE will change, while Vince says  “This move will undoubtedly build more excitement and deepen engagement with our fans around the world.” People who started following  the company will want to know how this will affect the regularly scheduled programming. Firstly, Smackdown will now be live on Tuesday nights as opposed to being taped on Tuesday and released on Thursday. The roster will also be split between the two shows, with the superstars only appearing on one show rather than both, while likely coming together for PPVs.

If Creative follow the same structure as the last brand split, we will receive a number of advantages as compared to the current programming. The best of these at the moment being that wrestlers won’t be overexposed, we won’t have to see Roman Reigns appearing twice a week, or The New Day or KO or Enzo and Cass. Their promos and matches will feel fresh rather than overused or tired, this means that the quality will improve since the writers won’t be stretched so far. It will also mean that secondary titles will feel more important, since they will be split between brands, so half of the roster won’t be able to get them. However, this does bring into question whether they will introduce another world title for men and women’s wrestling, a title for each show.

After predicting that Shane Mcmahon would take control of Smackdown and Stephanie would take control of Raw, myself and resident Raw reviewer TheRealDills decided that a fantasy draft was in order.We decided to flip a coin (I won) and take it in turns to pick what our respective rosters would be.  We also decided on two NXT stars each that we would bring up to  our rosters.

Of course, I would also draft the fist.

What would your dream rosters be? send thoughts on the brand split to me on Twitter @oliverwoodster, or if you’re interested in cheeky bum pics follow @therealdills for his thoughts on the topic.

Camp WWE Is Worth The Trip

If you’re a wrestling fan looking for an even sillier diversion, Camp WWE might be the trip for you. The titular camp is the animated home to childhood, foul-mouthed versions of John Cena, Steve Austin, the Undertaker and others. The camp is owned by Vince McMahon, with his teen daughter Stephanie and future son-in-law Triple H serving as head counselors. Sergeant Slaughter and Ric Flair round out the cast.

It’s a niche concept – an animated comedy for adult wrestling fans – but it has enough charm and immature humor to get a smile out of even the most strident haters.

The show is produced by Seth Green, whose Robot Chicken turned the concept of the pop culture reference on its head. The Simpsons and Family Guy made jokes about pop culture. With Robot Chicken, pop culture was the joke. Green’s the perfect choice to produce an animated in-joke about wrestling. It’s fairly well-written, with all the childish humor you’d expect.

The show shines best, though, in its choice of casting Vince McMahon, Ric Flair, Sergeant Slaughter and other wrestling legends as themselves. Each plays a pivotal role in the currently-released four episodes. McMahon is particularly good, somehow channeling the spirit of Ted Knight as he ruins the lives of everyone around him. Flair floats in his robe, humps inanimate objects and has relations with a bear. Slaughter is an immediate retro trip, instantly bringing his GI Joe days to mind.

The show falters, though, when the wrestlers aren’t played by themselves. The dialogue is fine, a wrestling-centric South Park without the message. The actors playing the campers do a good job, but they sound like they would on a kids’ show. If you’ve always wanted to hear the Rugrats swear, you won’t mind too much.

Camp WWE is a fine addition to the WWE Network, a unique, often laugh-out-loud take on some beloved icons. It would be nice to see the team of Green and WWE stay together for future projects. How about the intergalactic adventures of the Rock?

Photo: WWE

WWE Extreme Rules (2016) Review

The Usos vs. The Club – Texas Tornado Match

Talk about starting a show off on the right foot. Both teams are filled with talented guys. As a standard tag match, these guys probably could have put on a solid tag match, but the tornado tag stipulation put it over the top. All four men were combatting at once, saving us from the contrived ref not seeing the tag spots, resulting in this match being 100% action. There were tons of wild spots and The Club won. While I like the Usos, The Club felt like the right guys since they are new and need the rub. Overall, this was a standout tag out match.

Overall rating: 3.75 (Out of 5) Stars

Rusev vs. Kalisto – US Championship

This was another great old school-style match with Rusev playing a monster heel with Kalisto playing the underdog champion. Kalisto took a wicked bump on the ringside. Time will tell whether this was real or not, but after Enzo’s injury last month, it felt a little too real. Kalisto’s flexibility lead to an insane variation on the Accolade. This was a solid match, but I have to deduct a few points for some rest holds that slowed the match down. Still, it is nice to see Rusev back in monster form. I was worried he was doomed to be a jobber with a hip hop gimmick, but the booking team finally has Rusev back on the right track.

Overall rating: 3.5 stars

The New Day vs. The Vaudevillains – Tag Team Championships

I suspect that with Enzo Amore injured, they’re letting the New Day hold onto the tag team gold a little longer since I suspect the company wanted Amore and Cass to be tag champs. The match was good, but they broke very little new ground. They kept the flow going with some exciting kickouts and there was an exciting spot where Big E attempted the spear. The ending was a little weird since it saw Kofi cheat to win. I suspected something like that would happen. I felt a New Day babyface turn was inevitable since it’s hard to hate guys who are as genuinely funny as they are. But it is weird that the babyfaces usually outnumber their opponents and still use dirty tactics. Then again, we don’t see them just randomly change their attitude just because the audience cheers them. So there’s that.

Overall rating: 3.25 out of 5

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro vs. The Miz – Intercontinental Championship

If there was one sleeper match of the night, this was it. I knew this match would be good, but I didn’t expect it to be this far off the hook.  Beginning a match with a finisher is usually a gamble as we saw Zayn use the Heluva Kick right out of the gate. However, with three other guys carrying out a wild brawl, this was another match where the action was nearly non-stop. All four men did or attempted their finishers at one point with plenty of kickouts, Maryse interfering, Maryse being thrown into the match. There were some insane multi-man spots including Cesaro powerbombing all three other opponents during a double superplex. Cesaro pulled a running elbow on all three members of the match in turns while Kevin Owens did his usual taunting. Miz won which was irksome as he is easily the least interesting person in the match, but that was not enough to ruin this match of the year candidate.

Overall rating: 4.75 stars

Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho – Asylum Match

Dean Ambrose and Chris Jericho are two of my favorite guys on the roster – with Jericho being one of my all-time favorites. So it pains me to admit two things: 1. The most extreme thing about this match was how underwhelming it was. 2. I never like to admit this, but I have read a few reviews on this match. I bring this up because it’s not nearly as bad as other people have been making it out to be. People have been calling it a zero star match and saying it’s a worst match of the year candidate. I cannot get behind the hate that way, but I will agree this match was a letdown considering the talent involved. First of all, I think the gimmick of the match hurt them more than it helped them. If these two had just had a regular street fight/extreme rules match, I bet dollars to doughnuts this would have been better. With the mop, potted plant, straight jacket and nunchaku on the cage, there was an obligation to use those strange weapons, which almost turned this into a comedy match.

Even worse, this match was nearly TWENTY-SEVEN minutes. Word on the grapevine is that there was a ten-minute segment cut and this match had to fill in the time. I suspect Jericho and Ambrose had a much tighter match planned, but had to fill things out when they learned the match needed to go longer, thus causing them to go longer. I say this because there were spots that demonstrated the brilliance this match could have been. The last few minutes alone showed some brilliance. The spot this match will be remembered for was Ambrose slamming Jericho through a pile of thumbtacks. You read right, it wasn’t the guy who always wears a shirt who went through the tacks. I applaud Jericho for taking that obviously brutal spot. Ambrose won with Dirty Deeds, which was the right choice, but hopefully he can do some work to undo the damage of this match.

Overall rating: 3.25 stars

Charlotte vs. Natalya – Women’s Title Match

As much as I like both women, I feel that there was little suspense to this match. Natalya, as talented as she may be, is essentially the female Cesaro – she carries other women to good matches (not that Charlotte needs that much help) then does the job. Still, with the way WWE has had a habit of kicking women to the curb, and their history of treating the beautiful Natalya like a freak, being a respectable athlete who happens to be a jobber to the stars is a trade-up. Besides, she’s at least jobbing to another respectable athlete, and these two did put on a respectable, but not great match. With Flair banned from ringside, Dana Brooke came out disguised as Flair. I have to admit, that was pretty clever chicanery to open the door for Charlotte to gain a tainted victory.

Overall rating: 3 stars

AJ Styles vs. Roman Reigns – Extreme Rules for the WWE Championship

Styles and Reigns had a solid match at Payback, and this was even better. The extreme rules stipulation gave way for some amazing brawling for both men. They brawled in the crowd, Reigns gave Styles a back body drop onto the announce table, there were some wicked powerbomb spots outside of the ring. Both the Club and The Usos interfered. We saw a different shade of AJ’s character. The technical marvel showed a vicious side, wailing on Reigns and both Usos with chairs. The match told an interesting story with both guys showing shades of grey to their personalities.

Both men gave it their all in this match. AJ Styles already gets the respect he deserves – when I defended their match from last month, people said Styles did all the work and merely carried Reigns. While you’ll get no argument that Styles is one of the best guys on the roster, Reigns deserves a little credit too. He’s had some great matches recently, but this is the first time he’s done something that felt like a star performance. Don’t believe me? The crowd went from their usual booing him out of the building to at least SOME people cheering him, which is more than I can say about some nights. He won the match with a cool spot that was a little too similar to Payback – i.e. the same Phenomenal Forearm into the Spear.

The other big news was the return of Seth Rollins. Look, I would have loved to have seen Styles win, but Rollins vs. Reigns is the much more logical match.

Overall rating: 4.5 stars

Overall, Extreme Rules was a solid show. Some people may argue with me on this, but I found there to be no bad matches. Okay, there was some filler and that Asylum Match was marred by some awful booking, but look at it this way – no interminable McMahon promo! Plus we got TWO match of the year candidates out of the deal.

A Look Back at Andre the Giant

Andre was of the most popular of the wrestlers for the 70s all the way into the 90’s. If were still alive today, he would have turned 70. He was billed as the Eighth Wonder of the World. He was both a wrestling and movie star. Outside of the ring, he was beloved by those who knew him. The condition that made him a star was also a burden on his life.

Andre’s main claim was a wrestler. He was the most popular of the seventies. With his size – which the World Wrestling Federation exaggerated to over 7 feet – Andre benefited from a DECADE-long winning streak. As crazy as that sounds, in the days before weekly wrestling on TV, things did not happen as quickly as they do. Title reigns lasted years and while monsters like Rusev will go undefeated for a few years, Andre’s undefeated streak lasted YEARS. Also, while big men are usually portrayed as monsters – which makes sense because David/Goliath storylines are easy to book and make the David of the story look like a hero – Andre the Giant was portrayed as a lovable, gentle giant.

Realistically, Andre was not 100% undefeated. He was disqualified and counted out every now and then, but he was never pinned or made to submit. His other big gimmick was that he always won battle royales – After all, if someone needs to sell the idea of someone being monstrous and undefeatable, a good way to do that is to have him crush hundreds of people in one match. It also portrayed him as someone too enormous to be thrown over the top rope. Andre remained popular into the 80’s and had a hugely popular feud with Killer Khan. As the Rock n Wrestling Movement became popular, Andre still remained popular, appearing at the first two Wrestlemanias, but for Wrestlemania III, he would embark on the feud of his career.

The stage was set for Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant – the biggest star of the 70’s was clashing against the biggest star at the time. It was Hogan’s world title against Andre’s undefeated streak. While hardly a technical classic, the match is fun to watch, especially for Hogan bodyslamming Andre. Andre the Giant did eventually claim the WWF championship (or World World Championship as Andre called it). He won it on The Main Event (Before monthly pay per views, wrestling promotions often hosted televised supershows) by using a twin brother Earl Hebner. Andre’s moment in the sun did not last too long. As soon as he won the world world championship, Andred IMMEDIATELY handed the championship over to Ted Dibiase – as he was instructed to do in storyline.

Throughout the rest of the 90’s the once undefeated Andre the Giant started losing more often as a way to put over other talent. He retired from the WWF in 1990, but kept going a few years in Japan before fully retiring from wrestling in 1992. Andre’s size was catching up with him. It caused him constant pain and injuries. These problems piled up so severely that Andre was reduced to using a wheelchair when he wasn’t on camera. Because of – and likely because of the pain his size caused him – Andre was a hardcore drinker. In his youth, Andre could drink six beers and still be the designated driver. According to wrestlers such as the Fabulous Moolah, Andre would drink over 100 beers. Drinking did lead to problems for the giant as he was arrested in 1989 for attacking a cameraman.

Wrestling was not the only thing Andre the Giant was known for. He also had a career in acting. He played monsters on TV shows such as the Greatest American Hero, the Six-Million Dollar Man – where he played Bigfoot – and Conan the Destroyer – where he is buried in make-up effects despite being one of the most recognizable wrestlers in the world. However, all of those pale in comparison to the role of a lifetime as Fezzik in The Princess Bride. Not only is Princess Bride a stone classic, but Fezzik feels like the role Andre was born to play. As the filmmakers pointed out, there are few real life giants. Andre looked the part, he showed incredible comedic timing and chemistry with his co-stars. Not to mention, he had some of the funniest lines in the movie (“Anybody want a peanut?”)

The gentle giant role was not just a character Andre played. Despite his drinking and pain problems, Andre was one of the most beloved people in the wrestling and film business. Robin Wright relates stories of how Andre helped keep her warm on the set of the Princess Bride. Andre was also a notorious practical joker. Longtime friend Bobby Heenan often told stories of Andre cutting the cheese in elevators (Editorializing for a second, I shudder to think of what Andre passing gas sounded or smelled like), then blaming little girls.

Unfortunately, Andre the Giant passed away in 1993 in Paris from heart failure. His death was contributed to size. (Think of it like a big car needing more fuel and needing to work harder to carry a heavier load.) The man was only 46 at the time of his passing, but he left behind a legacy of being loved by fans, friends and inspiring big men wrestlers ever since.

WWE Extreme Rules Predictions

Can you feel it? It’s that time of year, the time when the rules are thrown out of the window and so are the wrestlers. It is time for Extreme Rules. Only 3 weeks since Payback, the matches at Extreme Rules seem to benefit from this short gap between the pay per view shows. The feuds have not overstayed their welcome as they have had a shorter lifespan and it seems that the 3 weeks since May 1^st have been used to intensify the feuds leading into this barbaric (hopefully) pay per view. Now as this is the first pay per view that will be covered on the site it feels necessary to explain the structure. The monthly pay per views are going to be previewed/reviewed by both me and the resident Smackdown reviewer and my best friend/bitter enemy Parzy. As there are 8 matches for Extreme Rules we will take 4 matches each to write a preview and review. Though we will both give our predictions and scores for all 8. I know it’s a bit confusing but sharing is caring guys.

Parzy Match 1 – Dolph Ziggler vs Baron Corbin (No Disqualifications)

In what will most likely be the pre-show match, we’ll have Ziggler getting over Corbin on the grandest stage of all (New Jersey). Gather all of your friends and family to watch The King of Strong Sells get buried by the up and comer. This match suffers in comparison to the rest of the card since the feud has received no attention at all, even less than attention than the Golden Truth storyline. In all likelihood, the culmination of this feud will actually be very impressive, especially since the two have the most to prove to the WWE Universe out of everyone on the card. This fight could decide Corbin’s bookings for the next year, the crossroads between a Kevin Owens opening year and a Tyler Breeze opening year. Hopefully, the two can put on a match that will put the AGMBR winner on the road to Corbinmania.

Parzy’s Prediction: Baron Corbin

TheRealDills’ Prediction: Baron Corbin

TheRealDills Match 1 – Jericho vs Ambrose (Asylum Match)

So first off it is the dreaded ASYLUM MATCH! Now this match can definitely go either 1 of 2 ways, the first possibility is that we will get Dean Ambrose going back to his CZW roots and bring Jericho to his hard-core limit. The second possibility is that we will get a repeat of Ambrose’s match with the Beast at Wrestlemania 32. Which would be dull, boring and worst of all not extreme. Whether the match is good or bad the winner will hopefully be Ambrose. The Lunatic Fringe was beginning to become synonymous with the phrase ‘always the bridesmaid, never the bride’ and there was truth to that. However with his win over Jericho at Payback, it seems that WWE may finally be attempting to build momentum for Ambrose

TheRealDills’ Prediction: Dean Ambrose

Parzy’s Prediction: Dean Ambrose

Parzy Match 2 – The Club vs The Usos (Tornado Tag Team)

The last Tornado Tag Team stipulation on the WWE main roster  occurred almost three years ago at Extreme Rules 2013 where The Shield beat Team Hell No for the Tag Team Titles. I think that this stipulation hasn’t been wasted for this match, as shown by the inability that these teams have to wait for tags on Raw and Smackdown. Both teams are experienced, talented athletes with long histories, so it’ll be good to see them wrestle without the shadows of AJ Styles and Roman Reigns at ringside stretching over them. This match should be a long one, provided that they work as teams rather than immediately splitting into two one on one matches. So far The Club’s talent has been squandered in favour of the Usos winning matches, so I hope that all those losses will end in one big win on Sunday night to get The Club fully over in the eyes of the WWE Universe.

Parzy’s Prediction: The Club

TheRealDills’ Prediction: The Usos

TheRealDills Match 2 – Rusev vs Kalisto (United States Championship)

The US title has been through a difficult time in recent years. Cast your minds back to the lead up to Wrestlemania 31 and the then champion (now challenger) Rusev was an unstoppable monster. Then after the Rusev train was stopped by the one and only John Cena, we got an amazing run with the US Open Challenge. Ever since his departure back in October at Hell In A Cell, the US title has slowly moved its way down the card and into the pre-show. Kalisto’s run as the champion has not been able to regain the value that the title recently held, this is why my prediction is that Rusev walks away champion.

TheRealDills’ Prediction: Rusev

Parzy’s Prediction: Rusev

Parzy Match 3 – The New Day (C) vs The Vaudevillains (Tag Team Championship)

This matchup has had one of the biggest build-ups out of all of the card, with the Number 1 Contender contest starting…. Holy shit it was only a month ago, this build up has felt like its been going on for much longer, with the debut of Enzo and Cass and The Vaudevillains kicking off the  contest and so much going on since then (The Dudley Boys/Enzo and Cass feud, the Enzo and Cass/The Vaudevillains feud, Enzo’s injury and  The Vaudevillains/The New Day feud). Even though this match has had so much build up I expect the New Day to win, The Vaudevillains are too fresh for a championship already and The New Day are only 11 days off of the record for longest Tag Team Title reign (As of 20/05/2016). I love the New Day as champions so I hope that they hold on to the titles this time. The belts would look great on The Vaudevillains in the future, though.

Parzy’s Prediction: The New Day

TheRealDills’ Prediction: The New Day

TheRealDills Match 3 – Natalya vs Charlotte (Women’s Championship)           

      

The match between Charlotte and Natalya at Payback was a really solid match with the only flaw being the ending, and it was a very big flaw. The way the match ended at Payback was so unnecessary and frankly a bit disrespectful towards Bret and Natalya. The solution that was offered for Extreme Rules was the added stipulation that this will be a submission match. It does make sense as this will prove who truly able to outlast the other. I am pretty confident when I say that Charlotte will be able to get the win as her reign is clearly heading for bigger things. Hopefully, with the added stipulation that Flair cannot be at ringside, we do not get a repeat of the events of May 1^st.

TheRealDills’ Prediction: Charlotte

Parzy’s Prediction: Charlotte

Parzy Match 4 – The Miz (C) vs Cesaro vs Zayn vs Owens (Intercontinental Championship)

This match is my most anticipated match of the night, with each contender equally worthy of the title, it’s the least predictable match-up on the card. I can also now confidently say that this match has had the longest build-up to the match, starting way back when KO lost his title to Zack Ryder at Wrestlemania. Even though we have seen these four fight each other again and again over the weeks, I still feel invested in the story, and these four can definitely put on a great match together. This match would definitely benefit from a longer run time than some of the other matches on the card, with each superstar given time to flesh out the rivalries on display in the match up. Although this match’s results are up in the air, I think that Sami Zayn could be the surprise victor here, especially since KO is more compelling when he’s working for a title and Cesaro has nothing to prove. It would also set up a great one on one Sami vs KO feud in the coming weeks, which would be perfect without any other superstars diluting it.

Parzy’s Prediction: Sami Zayn

TheRealDills’ Prediction: Cesaro

TheRealDills Match 4 – AJ Styles vs Roman Reigns (WWE World Heavyweight Championship)

Let’s not kid ourselves here guys. We all know that Roman Reigns is leaving this match with the title. Despite the fact, he is still not, and probably never going to get the crowd reaction that Vince and co want is clearly not deterring them. The Roman Reigns project is in full effect. I expect this match to be a great match, AJ is, in my opinion, the best in the world at pure wrestling and Roman is half bad in the ring either. There is also the extreme rules stipulation which means things are bound to get out of control. Normally the lack of a clear face/heel in the feud would lead to an unpredictable match. But this is Roman Reigns we are talking about. Sure Styles definitely deserves a victory as not only is he the better wrestler but also a fan favourite, but Roman is not dropping that belt before Summerslam. My only real question is, are we going to see Finn Balor? Please let it be so.

TheRealDills’ Prediction: Roman Reigns

Parzy’s Prediction: Roman Reigns

So there we go, those are our predictions for WWE Extreme Rules. Do you agree with me or are you more inclined to agree with Parzy? Maybe you disagree with both of us and if so be sure to leave a comment and tell is what you think the outcome of Extreme Rules will be. You can follow me on twitter @THEREALDILLS and Parzy @oliverwoodster.

Smackdown – 19/5/2016

Welcome to your weekly coverage of Smackdown, tonight is the last live event before Extreme Rules so with all the matches set, there shouldn’t be too many surprises outside of stipulations or progressions. So,while Kane is weeping in his bed, let’s get to the Smackdown of May 19th.

Kevin Owens vs Cesaro

We get straight into it with Kevin Owens vs Cesaro with Sami Zayn and The Miz as guest commentators. So far I’ve really enjoyed the run up to the Intercontinental title, even with Zack Ryder’s burial, but there’s only so many times these four can fight each other before the title match this Sunday.

While both of these athletes are incredible in their own right, I think that the two of them have the least chemistry out of the match ups in this foursome. Most of the entertainment of this match up comes out of the arguments on the commentary table, with the match only working as a formality before Sunday. Even though this is the case, Owens and Cesaro are still giving everything they have to this match, showing their mettle as two of the most talented athletes in the company. It’s good to see that they aren’t fighting a subpar match to prevent injuries before Sunday, still showing great moves like Cesaro’s standing dropkick.

I can’t wait for Sunday because all of these interruptions affecting the outcome of the matches are starting to get tiring.

Winner by pinfall, Kevin Owens

Rating 7/10

Dana Brooke vs Paige

Next up we have Dana Brooke vs Paige with Becky Lynch guest commentating. Even before the match starts we have Lynch putting in good remarks on the commentary ‘getting poked in the eye is the worst injury I’ve suffered since it gives me double vision and I had to see Dana’s face twice.’ Even though her commentary might be good, I question the camera man’s need to keep switching focus to her while the match is going on. The match is over in minutes,  with what feels like more focus on the commentary team than the match.

It’s great that Dana Brooke is getting such a good push but it sucks that Lynch and Paige are getting jobberfied in the process. If the WWE want to give the women’s division a better push, they need to give more time to these matches, it seems like the only matches that go over ten minutes involve Ric Flair which is miserable considering how good these athletes are.

Winner by (slightly botched) pinfall, Dana Brooke

Rating 3/10

Next up we have a backstage promo from Rusev and Lana. Rusev has really improved since the dissolution of the League of Nations, but his backstage promo leaves a lot to be desired. Lana is a good manager for him though,  getting the finesse that’s needed for a promo outside of ‘Machka’ chants.

Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus

Speaking of the League of Nations, Sheamus has also greatly benefited from it’s absence. He can actually fight properly without having to lose every match he’s involved in, showing why he was made the world heavyweight champion six months ago (only 6??). While Sheamus may be getting more recognition, Dolph Ziggler really needs a push, the former champion has spent the past six months getting over NXT stars, it seems like such a waste of talent, especially since his last project (Tyler Breeze) has only been making sporadic appearances on mid card matches.

The match has both men putting in their all, the two former world heavyweight champions showing why they got their titles in the first place. They seem energised by their opportunity to fight a new opponent. Ziggler is the underdog in every match he comes up against, mainly due to his status as the king of sells (his sad punching of Sheamus‘ shins was great). The finish of him falling onto Sheamus was a great end. Corbin’s promo at the end of the match makes me hope that there’s something bigger in his future, a US championship run at least.

Winner by Pinfall, Dolph Ziggler

Rating 6/10

We have a promo for the Asylum match on Sunday now, with Jericho visiting the Asylum. Although Jericho is one of my favourite superstars, with what seems like 40% of this years best lines coming from him (‘You Stupid, Stupid Idiot!’), this feud just seems contrived to me. Sure the stipulation is good, but Jericho and Ambrose should be doing bigger and better things. Jericho’s excellent mic skills (‘Quiet quiet quiet quiet quiet’) are going to waste in this feud. I enjoyed Jericho’s going through the available weapons and days that Ambrose will spend in hospital was a good bit.

Ambrose’s attack was a good twist to make the night more interesting, if he had just ran in, the promo would have been a waste. The commentary team running clean up on the asylum’s inability to keep Jericho caged was enjoyable. ‘the door will be locked on Sunday’.

There is no way in hell I’m mentioning anything about these miserable life lessons with Backlund. They just seem messy and poorly filmed.

The New Day and Big Cass vs The Vaudevillains and the Dudley Boys

While I’m enjoying Cass’ revenge against the Vaudevillains, and I’m glad that he isn’t being buried, until Enzo comes back he should be having solo matches with mid carders, he seems a bit wasted as the white shadow of The New Day.

And in contention for the most obscure reference I’ve made to date…..

We’ve definitely seen this match before and it isn’t the freshest feud on the card at the moment, but I am always a slut for The New Day. The match is a good one, with the struggles for the tags actually coming across as tense and The Dudleys screaming at The Vaudevillains is always great (‘I WANT YOU TO WATCH’).  Big E throwing Kofi at Gotch was great, throwing caution to the wind in the injury prevention before Sunday. The match’s finale was great.

In a way I’m not looking forward to an eventual New Day/Enzo and Cass feud, I like Cass’s chemistry with them and I like both tag teams as faces.

Winner by Pinfall, Big Cass and The New Day

Rating 7/10

Roman Reigns (With the Usos) vs Luke Gallows (With Karl Anderson and AJ Styles)

How many times do we have to watch these match-ups? It’s getting sad to watch The Club get murdered by The Usos week after week. After seeing the match up so many times, setting Reigns vs Gallows as a main event on Smackdown really shows how much they need this feud to end. The feud could have been interesting if The Usos were allowed personality, or if it was formed by anything other than misunderstanding that are only seen in romantic comedies. The sad thing is that all of these athletes have talent, you can see that in Reign’s driveby on the side of the ring alone, they’re just being ran into the ground by this meaningless feud.

This match shouldn’t have been booked as a singles match, it’s far too predictable, if they wanted this match to mean anything, they should have booked a series of handicap matches starting with Raw. Reigns vs The Club on Monday (Styles and The Usos banned from ringside), Styles vs The Usos on Thursday (Reigns and the Club banned from ringside) ,then the title match on Sunday (The Usos and The Club banned from ringside). At the very least, it would be less predictable, they could even make Styles look more strong by having him beat The Usos while Reigns loses to The Club. As it stands, I don’t think anyone believes that Reigns leaves without the title on Sunday, it’d at least be less predictable if WWE made any effort to make Styles a threat to him.

Match ends with a No Contest after Anderson attacks Reigns 

Rating 4/10

If anyone was confused by how Smackdown just sort of ended mid fight, WWE have the actual ending on their Youtube account, which was actually much more interesting, setting the final stakes for Sunday.

Overall, this was a pretty meaningless Smackdown, only serving to show the final relationships going into Extreme Rules on Sunday. although this was to be expected.

Rating 5/10

Highlight

You can follow me on Twitter @Oliverwoodster, tell me what you think about Extreme Rules, I’ll probably be tweeting during it.

Lucha Underground SN2 EP13- ‘Monster Meets Monster’

Hey everybody! I’m back with another Lucha Underground review. The bright side of me getting behind on these is that you’ll get more than one this week. We know this main event for this episode will be Mil Muertes facing off against the Lucha Underground Champion Matanza. This will be a battle of Goliath versus Goliath. Let’s get to the episode!

The show begins with Cueto speaking with Fenix, Drago and Aero Star backstage. He tries to convince them to team. He did this last week with Mundo, Taya and Cage. Cueto decides against putting the team together and instead decides to team Fenix with P.J. Black and Jack Evans. Drago and Aero Star will be up against each other for one of the Aztec medallions.

The first match of the night is Aero Star versus Drago. I haven’t been able to speak much about Drago since I started doing these articles, so I’m happy to see this match taking place. Drago was one of my favorite wrestlers on the first season of Lucha Underground. These two men are about to put on a show stealer!

The two attempt multiple pins towards the beginning of the match. The match goes back and forth until Drago is able to take Aero Star down with a kick. Aero Star is able to recover and hit Drago off of the top turnbuckle. Aero Star attempts a handshake but Drago goes for a kick instead. Aero Star attempts to jump off the ropes but falls down hard. Even the most talented wrestlers can make mistakes ladies and gentleman!

Drago then throws Aero Star into the rafters. They both go back in the ring. Aero Star attempts a similar move to the one he made a mistake on before and fortunately hits it this time. Drago hits a move reminiscent to Aero Star’s very quickly after. Man these guys are fun to watch!

Both are back inside the ring now and Drago attempts a pin on the clearly injured Aero Star. Aero Star is able to kick out. Aero Star is still doing these crazy aerial moves even though this injury seems to bother him quite a bit. He hits one final top rope move and is able to get the win. I find it remarkable that Aero Star’s mistake made his win even more spectacular.

We get a vignette involving Taya and Johnny Mundo next. As I mentioned in my article for the previous episode, these two never fail to steal the show. Taya tells Mundo that he will be facing Cage next week in a match for one of the Aztec medallions. It will be a steel cage match!

Match two is upon us and its Fenix, P.J. Black and Jack Evans versus Catrina’s Disciples of Death.

Black and Trece start off the match inside the ring. Fenix attempts to tag in but Black pulls his hand away. It’s nice to see Black do well since leaving WWE. He was one of my favorites on that first season of NXT but WWE eventually had him playing a dude in a bunny costume. Evans has now tagged in.

Evans is one of my favorites on the Lucha Underground roster. The Disciples of Death now triple-team P.J. Black. Fenix is able to finally get into the match. He hits his typical high-flying moves on the Disciples of Death and looks like he is getting close to a win. He attempts a pin but the Disciples of Death kick out and get some hits of their own on Fenix.

The Disciples of Death continue to beat the hell out of Fenix. Fenix is able to tag in Evans. Evans is fantastic everybody! Fenix is back in the match now. The Disciples of Death attempt a pin but Fenix kicks out again. Fenix, Evans and Black have been a much better team than I would have guessed. Right after I write that, Fenix and Black begin to argue. Fenix makes a tag as Black jumps over the ropes. Evans won’t let him enter the match. Evans does a similar move to Black onto the Disciples of Death. Fenix finally enters the match and gets the pin and the win.

I honestly enjoyed these three as a team quite a bit. They were wonderfully dysfunctional!

A backstage segment is next in Dario’s office. He is speaking with Angelico, Son of Havoc and Ivelisse. He reveals that they are now in the Trios tournament and that whoever wins the tournament become the new champs. Just for the record, in my opinion they are Team Ivelisse.

Another backstage segment follows involving the Disciples of Death. I mentioned last week how much I love the special effects the use on these three so it was nice to see again. Catrina is pissed and berates them. Holy crap you guys! We just witnessed a double murder on Lucha Underground! That was insane and so different from everything else you see in wrestling.

The main event between Mil Muertes and Matanza for the Lucha Underground Championship is finally here! I expect some great things but I don’t know if I’ll enjoy anything this episode I much as I enjoyed that last scene backstage.

The match is about to begin. Who needs Batman Vs. Superman? We have Matanza vs. Mil Muertes here in the Temple!

I can’t remember a time where I saw two behemoths like this face off. Mil Muertes gets the better of Matanza to start off the match. I could be wrong but I believe that’s the first time we’ve seen Matanza on his knees and back. Matanza is able to get up and throw Muertes into the turnbuckles.

They are throwing haymakers at each other! We are only a few minutes in and I already love this match! Matanza hits some suplexes on Muertes but Muertes is able to reverse and throw Matanza outside the ring. Dario Cueto gets involved at ringside. Muertes grabs him by the neck. Matanza is able to stop a violent assault on his brother but Dario does get hurt in the process.

Muertes goes to the commentary table with Matanza. Catrina is now involved. Matanza stalks Catrina and grabs her by the neck just like Muertes had done to his brother. Before he can do anything, Muertes hits him with a chair.

They are in the audience now. The violence in this match is incomparable. They make it to the top of Dario’s office. They fight back and forth on the top trying to throw each other off. Oh my god! Muertes and Matanza have fallen through the ceiling into Dario’s office! The match is now a no contest.

The episode ends with my guy Joey Ryan’s boss aka the police chief talking with someone. That someone just happens to be played by Lorenzo Lamas. I find this very distracting as someone who has seen Lamas in so many other things. Imagine seeing Bob Saget on WWE TV playing a role that wasn’t himself. It would take you out of it. You’d just say “Oh hey that’s the dad from Full House”. You’d then forget whatever happened and wouldn’t take it seriously.

The gist of the scene though is that the guy Lamas is playing suggests to the detective/police chief that she stop her investigation

It was another fun episode of Lucha Underground with a great cinematic backstage segment and a really entertaining main event. I’m looking forward to seeing the Trios championship match in the next episode!