‘ WWE Monday Night Raw ‘ Does England

Opener:

RAW is in London, England. Which can only mean one thing: soccer chants!

The show opens with The Ambrose Asylum; Dean Ambrose’s new talk show…

I’m curious to know what readers of this post think about WWE’s talk show segments. Have there ever been any talk show iterations that you’ve genuinely enjoyed? I’m sure there have been some, but ever since I’ve been a WWE fan (early 2000’s), I’ve never found any.

Shane McMahon is Dean Ambrose’s guest and surprise! He’s the RAW GM again. Hooray for social media! He’s here to spread change, and he has the perfect opportunity to do so as Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn AND Chris Jericho make their way out to the ring to huge pops, each. Shane O’ Mac makes matches for Payback between Jericho and Ambrose and Zayn and Owens. The crowd loves it and Jericho tells them all to shut up. He can say that because he’s Jericho and he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

The segment ends in a brawl and we’re on to our first match.

Opening segment: 3.5

Chris Jericho V Sami Zayn:

A great back-and-forth match between two in-ring veterans. Jericho controlled early on until Zayn came back – which is when the fun started. I could watch Sami Zayn hit his Blue Thunder Bomb all day! That and Jericho being a Heel. Jericho’s mid-match jeers and taunts are just hilarious.

Jericho wins with a thumb to the eye followed by a Codebreaker.

Jericho V Zayn: 4/5

Backstage segment:

AJ Styles is being interviewed until Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson show up. They hug it out all bro-ey like and embrace with some grunts and chest slaps. Luke Gallows says he wants to thank AJ Styles for putting in a good word for them and getting their foot in the door. I’m guessing we’re all supposed to forget the two other times Luke Gallows had his foot in the door — but hey! I ain’t complaining. The segment was decent and helped reestablish the Bullet Club bond.

Backstage segment: 3/5

Enzo and Cass V The Dudley Boyz: #1 contender qualifier

My boys, Enzo and Cass are out to a huge pop! These guys are, dare I say it, electric! Their mic skills and charisma draw parallels with Stone Cold, The Rock and DX. They can lighten up any crowd and you can’t teach that!

In a pretty standard tag-team match, Enzo and Cass pick up the win with the Rocket Launcher. They’ve moved up to the next bracket in the #1 contender tag team qualifiers.

Enzo and Cass V The Dudley Boyz: 3/5

Roman Reigns in-ring segment

THE guy is out to the ring. Remember, he’s not a good guy or a bad guy.

Roman hits rewind on his “Raw promo” cassette tape and starts spewing the same shit he has been since the past 2 weeks. The crowd charts chanting boring and AJ Styles music hits immediately (probably to shut them up).

AJ Styles and Roman talk a little bit about being the best and beating the best. Styles begins to leave. He’s almost to the top of the ramp when Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson appear in the ring and take out Roman Reigns!

Styles catches up with Roman in the back and says he didn’t have anything to do with that attack. Roman says Styles can bring all his friends to Payback, it’s one versus all for Roman.

Roman Reigns in-ring segment: 3/5

Fandango V Baron Corbin

Fandango is in the ring “Fandango-ing” in a desperate attempt to bring that back. One day, buddy. One day. You’ll get your Zack Ryder WrestleMania moment and have it taken away from you just like he did. I promise you!

Anyways, what do we really expect from this match? Baron Corbin makes quick work of Fandango by hitting him with his lack of charisma.

Ziggler jumps in after the match to try and earn back his dignity but is quickly flattened by Corbin’s receding hairline.

Fandango V Baron Corbin: 1/5

Miz TV in-ring segment

Nothing exciting here except for Cesaro’s James Bond gun barrel sequence. Is this a permanent thing or was it just used to get some hometown love? Either way, it was pretty neat.

I will say this; Cesaro needs to stay away from the mic. I understand that to be a top star in WWE, you need in-ring skills and promo skills, but let Cesaro be the exception. Give him the title and let his uppercuts do the talking!

Miz TV in-ring segment: 1.5/5

League of Nations and The Miz V Cesaro and The New Day

A surprise 8-man tag? I can dig it. Cesaro rips off his suit to reveal a Booty O’s tank top and The New Day comes out to what has to be the biggest pop of the night. Good on these guys for taking a gimmick doomed for failure and making it their own. I love watching these guys do what they do.

I enjoyed this match. It wasn’t as exciting as it could be but it was pretty entertaining in its own right. The New Day and Cesaro pick up the win after Big E reverses Miz’s Skull-Crushing Finale into a Big Ending and Cesaro hits Sheamus with the Neutralizer. Sexy stuff.

League of Nations & The Miz V Cesaro & The New Day: 3.5/5

Natalya, Becky Lynch, Paige and Sasha Banks V Team B.A.D, Summer Rae and Charlotte

Another 8-person tag match, but this time, It’s women’s action!

Natalya, Becky, Paige and Sasha all are out to amazing fanfare. The same can’t be said for the Heel team. Charlotte is the only member who got any sort of reaction.

Team Face wins after Natalya locks in the Sharpshooter on Charlotte and forces her to tap. Natalya will face Charlotte for the WWE Women’s Championship at Payback with Bret Hart by her side!

Natalya, Becky Lynch, Paige and Sasha Banks V Team B.A.D, Summer Rae and Charlotte: 2.5/5

Primo and Epico video package

They’re back! The Puerto Rican travel agents are back to sell us on Puerto Rico, the shining star of the Caribbean!

At least they’re not smelling flowers this time.

Primo and Epico video package: 0.5/5

The Usos V The Vaudevillians: #1 contender qualifier

I’m having a tough time getting behind The Vaudevillians. I don’t know if it’s their gimmick, their entrance or the fact the Aiden English hasn’t seen the sun since 1987. I just can’t seem to invest myself in anything they do. Here’s hoping Enzo and Cass beat them at Payback to advance and face The New Day.

Vaudevillians pick up the win and advance.

The Usos V The Vaudevillians: 2/5

Apollo Crews V Heath Slater

We get a video package of Apollo Crews to start off the match. You see some pictures of Crews as a baby and Crews wrestling in High School. WWE is positioning him as the “you can achieve your dream” guy. Nothing says achieving your dreams like becoming a grown man after being a baby.

So, help me out here. What’s the point of NXT if all you do is start superstars back on square one once you bring them to the main roster? I just don’t get the point of the entire video package and 2 weeks worth of squash matches for Crews. If he still had work to do, you shouldn’t have called him up so quickly…

Crews beats Slater but not as quickly as I thought. I guess Slater is the powerhouse of the Social Outcasts!

Apollo Crews V Heath Slater: 1/5 (minus 1 for the cheesy video package)

Kevin Owens V Dean Ambrose

You know what I loved about this match? Aside from the fact that it was a solid 20-minute match? Dean Ambrose and Kevin Owens main-evented Monday Night RAW! They weren’t in a tag team with Roman or The League of Nations. No, it was just Ambrose and Owens putting on a show.

Owens hits some heavy bombs on Ambrose but Ambrose keeps coming back for more.

Ambrose wins after hitting the Dirty Deeds on an unsuspecting Owens.

Kevin Owens V Dean Ambrose: 4/5

RAW in London rating: 32.5/65

Overall, RAW in London was okay. It started off really strong but declined midway with the addition of unnecessary fillers. I really believe WWE Monday Night Raw should go back to 2 hours of programming. I understand 3 hours gives them a chance to showcase more of their talent but the quality of matches isn’t there. It actually hurts the talent more than it benefits them.

Luckily, the program ended on a high note with Dean Ambrose V Kevin Owens. Lets have more of that and less of Puerto Rican tour guides and Baron Corbin, AKA, the wrestler you’d create when you’re 14 in a WWE video game.