OPENER
We open to TNA commentator Josh Matthews telling the audience that earlier today, the current TNA Heavyweight Champion Drew Galloway arrived at the Impact arena, similarly so did Lashley. The similar times of arrival lead to a clash between champ and challenger, reminiscent of the gym brawl two weeks ago. Eventually, the backstage fight between the two is broken up by members of the locker room. Now there is something that I have ignored in my past two reviews for Impact Wrestling but I feel it is unavoidable and unforgivable here. Josh Matthews is the worst commentator on any wrestling promotion in the world. He has this really weird way he pronounces the words he is saying. He often elongates said words unnecessarily so and this is especially noticeable when he says a wrestler’s name. This is something I won’t mention too often as this is something that will not change (still going to shit on Jeff’s music though).
- ‘Willow’ comes out and cuts a promo telling the audience that he has no “fear” or “regrets”. Almost immediately Jeff Hardy comes down to interrupt telling Willow, that he is not the true Willow, and that the real Willow “lives inside me”. He then attacks Willow starting the match.
JEFF HARDY def. WILLOW
This match is only 1 minute long and somehow it does many things wrong. The psychology of the match is nowhere near as intense as it should be. It was literally a minute before the match started that Hardy tells Willow that he is willing to go deep inside and bring out the real Willow when needed. Hardy leads us to believe that the fake Willow has brought The Charismatic Enigma to a very serious place, yet in this match we see Jeff jumping for joy trying to get a pop from the crowd. If we are supposed to believe that this Willow/Hardy feud is going somewhere we need them to act like it. Hardy completely no sells fake Willow, completely shrugging off the Twist of Hate, then grabbing the pin after his on Twist of Fate. With the match over Jeff goes for the reveal before this fake Willow can be unveiled Hardy is attacked by another Willow, with then finally a third Willow makes his way out. This Willow taunts Jeff and for good reason as it is revealed that the real imposter Willow is Matt Hardy. This is stupid. If you ever wanted concrete evidence that Matt is the lesser Hardy then this is it. To go against Jeff, Matt has literally had to resort to being Jeff. This is a bad start to tonight’s show. Can it get any worse? Yes.
- Both Velvet Sky and the audience are introduced to Maria’s new assistant Allie. This new assistant tells Velvet that she will be facing Sienna tonight and after a call from Maria, it is revealed that if Velvet loses then she will be fired.
- Dixie Carter announces that due to the trouble between Drew Galloway and Lashley that tonight’s main event has been changed to a lumberjack match. This does fit the feud very well as the brawls between the two have been uncontrollable.
SIENNA def. VELVET SKY
This match told the story of Velvet Sky very well, she was desperate to keep her job, however, she was facing Sienna who, as we have seen in the previous week, is being portrayed as a force of nature. Both Velvet Sky and Sienna are still sloppy in the ring, despite having established careers by this point, the kicks to the stomachs looked especially bad. After a match that only lasts 3 minutes, Sienna picks up the pin meaning Velvet has officially been fired. This was obviously the correct call for both of the knockouts. Sienna is being built as a monster and there is no better wat of continuing that than having her take out established names, and Velvet was someone who always seemed they would rather be in the WWE so it’s about time she was gone for good.
- So are we meant to be sad about Sky’s firing? NOPE, let’s watch Mike Bennett and Maria by a pool. Also, someone needs to tell TNA that everyone already knows Maria is hot.
- Mike and Maria come out before their match and cut a promo on EC3. And boy is it a LONG promo. Unbearably long. Eventually, he calls out legendary referee Earl Hebner and challenges him to a fight…
MIKE BENNETT def. EARL HEBNER
No. I refuse to a do an in-depth review of a 31-year-old Mike Bennett trying to get cheap heat by wrestling the 67-year referee Earl Hebner. It was a 2-minute match and it was ridiculous. After the terrible match that this was The Miracle decides that it would be fun to kick around a 67-year-old unconscious man, luckily EC3 comes out to save Earl and hopefully what so far is a terrible episode. Driven from the ring Bennett tells EC3 that he will be in another match tonight and hat match will be against another demon from his past, Tyrus (Holy shit a possibly good match?). Before The Miracle could even announce his name Tyrus ambushed Carter leaving him at a disadvantage for the upcoming Last Man Standing Match.
EC3 def. TYRUS
Tyrus definitely isn’t the strongest in ring worker, he is big and his size is enough to make him a credible threat but in terms of in-ring talent there is a lot to be desired. However whenever we are lucky enough to get a Last Man Standing match with a performer as talented as EC3 then we know the match will be fun no matter what (bar a victory 2011 like catastrophe). The match waste no time in taking things to the hardcore level, as Tyrus litters the ring with chairs and eventually a table is introduced by Carter. There was a range of impressive spots both extreme and technical. The cross body from Ethan to Tyrus got a loud reaction from the crowd and the Saito Suplex onto the double chairs looked viscous, causing one chair to bend. In the end, EC3 resorts to burying his past bodyguard, as he dumps parts of the railing and the steel steps onto Tyrus. Mike Bennett makes his way out to the ring, clearly disturbed by EC3;s performance.
- We get Lashley being strong and shit for almost 2 minutes
- Jeff Hardy says the love between him and Matt is broken, he calls out Matt and Jeff claims he will put an end to his brother at Slammiversary.
EDDIE EDWARDS & DJ Z def. TREVOR LEE & ANDREW EVERETT
Oh, Jesus the X-Division is still a thing? Really? 14 years ago the X-Division title helped put TNA on the map and has been held by people such as AJ Styles, Samoa Joe and Austin Aries (I wonder where they all went). You would think an iconic part of TNA’s history would be used much more often. The match itself proves that the X-Division deserves its place in TNA, all 4 men were very impressive in the ring. The match lasts for 5 minutes of good back and forth action ending with an insane moon sault reversal into a DJ Z DDT (RIP Trevor Lee’s jaw).
- We get a similar video package about Drew Galloway as the one we got about Lashley earlier. I definitely preferred Galloway’s one as it highlights his desire and passion. Both vignettes work well as a contrast to each other.
- We get the latest edition of the Facts of Life with Eli Drake, this week his guest is the current KOTM Champion Bram. The segment goes as expected, the two trash talk each other throughout. Drake suggests that Bram hand over the championship to save himself the embarrassment of a cash in. This clearly enrages Bram and things then go downhill from here leading to a brawl, with Bram quickly getting the upper hand.
- EC3 catches up with Mike Bennett and Maria, asking for a rematch. The Miracle tells Ethan that there is one more demon from his past in the form of Matt Hardy, who he will face next week.
DREW GALLOWAY def. LASHLEY (WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP)
Well after a few weeks of build-up it is finally time for the Destroyer Lashley to get his hands on the current TNA Heavyweight Champion Drew Galloway. The feud between the two has become very intense as they seem to be unable to keep it civil before their match. Both competitors in this match are by no means small, whether it is the absolutely ripped Lashley or the 6 foot 5 Galloway, both are a big presence in the ring. Both men have a clear strategy, Drew uses the running boot repeatedly clearly using his long legs and reach to keep the distance between the stronger Lashley. The Destroyer is intent on tearing Lashley apart. Lashley repeatedly throws Drew into the aggressive heel Lumberjacks who stomp Galloway when he is down. When Drew is in the ring he is also a victim of Lashley’s big moves such as the spine buster. The troublesome lumberjacks are the cause of tonight’s result though when they pull out Drew ending the match in a DQ. This leads to an all-out brawl between the entire roster. All of the major feuds get there 15 seconds of screen time, from the Hardys to Ec3/Bennett. The longer this lasted the more blatantly obvious it became that the lumberjack match was used to advertise all the feuds going into Slammiversary, though the end with Galloway standing tall felt right as he has been the fighting champion that he had promised.
FINAL NOTES & SCORE
- Tonight’s MVP: EC3
- Match of the Night: EC3 vs Tyrus
- Moment of the Night: The ending of the X-Division match
- 67 YEARS OLD! COME ON
- The obvious Slammiversary advert felt very contrived
I was very bored and upset with the first half of this show, it took me a long time to sit through the first hour because of how bad everything that happened was. If I were to split the show into 2 1 hour scores they would be vastly different but as I judge this on the entire show I will have to combine it and give the show a 4.5/10. The good parts were okay the bad parts were BAD.
Hey why don’t ya follow me on twitter @THEREALDILLS. I’m a hoot
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